Yeah, but I agree with it. I think my wife is better than I am in a ton of ways. I think I'm better at working all day and staying sane in doing it. So I let her stay home and take care of the kids. But if she wanted a career, I would have no pride that wouldn't let me stay at home. I'd probably go crazy, but I'd do it if it made her happy.
Women as weaker vessel - explain?
by Libelle 68 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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garyneal
What is the meaning of "equal responsibilities"?
Why do divorced dads get the short end of the stick when it comes to access to their children? But are left with the bill?
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brotherdan
Got to agree with you on that one garyneal... It does seem like women get preference during divorce time...
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Libelle
Damn - crossposted.
Yeah, Gary, I guess I have to suck it up and realize I'm not the norm. I'm the breadwinner, The Mr works PT from home and does alot of the day-to-day parenting heavy work. The Mr and I freely exchange nearly all household chores - with the exception of laundry for me, and since he's the contractor he does the household renovations. And he is way, way, WAY better with the kids than I am.
Yes I have heard of the ERA, and all that went down with it, I wish it had passed. And though I don't agree with the draft at all, I figure if you're going to draft, draft all abled bodied, that means including women. But I know that's just not the normal view.
Some of the women I dated in years past would not find any problem saying something along the lines of, "My goal is to find a nice man who can take good care of me." That clashes with my whole perspective of men and women being equals. Women seem to have no problem saying that around men but let a man say that around women.
Yeah, I cringe when I hear women say that. For one, they know not how badly that can bite them in the butt, and for two, um, staying home with the kids is not exactly a picnic! Also, truly, some men are better at parenting, that's just how it is. Well, from my perspective- it would be nice if more dads could stay at home. I'm all for that. I never understood the stay-at-home-spouse (sans kids) unless there's a farm or something along those lines to take care of.
Oh well, it is the culture and I've learned to that if I need to cry, I cry alone. Got to show strength at all times, you know
I'm sorry to hear that. Man, I suppose I better hush up, because in alot of ways I'm showing my privilege here. It wasn't but a few weeks into my relationship when I first saw The Mr cry, and he me - for different reasons, and we both haven't felt the need to can up our emotinos. I'm so sorry you aren't made to feel you can show your emotions. Everyone should be able to express emotions. Plus, I patently disagree with the concept that strong means emotion-free. It's just pushed somewhere else, really.
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notverylikely
Got to agree with you on that one garyneal... It does seem like women get preference during divorce time...
That one hits a little close to home... in some cases it makes sense, in some it doesn't. It my case, my ability to earn is roughly 3 to 4 times what my soon to be ex is able to earn.
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brotherdan
NVL - that law drives me crazy!!! You have the ABILITY to earn that much, so they are going to require that sort of payment. I think that's totally wrong. I know that there are some people that take advantage of the system and will work at Mcdonalds so that they don't have to pay high child support. But I think that is the exception rather than the rule.
It should NOT be what your potential earning can be that determines your child support or alimony payment, but what you are ACTUALLY making that should be the factor.
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Libelle
WRT Divorce laws - they originated to help women back in the day (or at least these particular laws) where staying at home was the norm, and women couldn't do things like, oh have a credit card in their own name. Back in those days, women could just not do alot of what they can do now. They do still help some women as they were intended to. However, I think lately, these laws have been twisted around by opportunists and don't serve the same purposes that they used to serve. There should be much more case-by-case consideration than there is, at present.
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notverylikely
It should NOT be what your potential earning can be that determines your child support or alimony payment, but what you are ACTUALLY making that should be the factor.
Well, she hasn't earned in years and would have to start all over at the bottom. I can (did last year, will again soon as I get another job, working on it :)) earn enough to support 3 middle class families. I won't be hurting :)
I would rather give up the money and live regular middle class than upper middle class so she can be a mom and not have to worry about working, juggling kids, finding a sitter, etc.
Of course, if she ever gets married again that all goes away....
Edited to add:
AND I want my boys to know when they are older that I did everything to take care of them AND their mom. Even though she won't be my wife, she will always be their mom and since she is staying and becoming a stronger JW, I need to go above and beyond to counter the BS they will without a doubt start that non-JW's are bad people, your dad isn't a JW, etc., etc. I want to be able to say "If they are such good people, boys, what did they ever do to help?". I want them to KNOW that I did more than I had to, I went above and beyond for them and to take care of their mom.
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Libelle
Based on my experience, Libelle, you are definitely in the minority as far as women's attitudes are concerned. Most women today will say, "Sure I want equal rights, I want equal pay, I want to be treated like a man in every way, etc, etc, etc.." Okay, all young women in America who are turning 18 should go register with the selective service just in case the draft should ever get reinstated. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, you can hear the crickets now as these same women don't want equal responsibility.
By the way, those sorts of women are the sorts who like the freedoms and choices brought them by feminism, but in no way will call herself a feminist, lest she be marked. Me on the other hand, I am proud to be a feminist.
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brotherdan
You sound like a good guy NVL