by Butterflyleia85 73 Replies latest jw friends
Somehow, I just don't think this return to the JW-land is going to last.
I decided to go back to College too and I have awesome part time job now.
The JW's are all over the map right now on college- some tow the WTS directive to be negative on it, some are just silent and approve of it silently. If you want to go back, you might keep that to yourself that you are going to college. After reinstatement, you can say what you want.
Exactly what I was thinking, OTWO. The good thing is, the JWN people here will not disfellowship her for either going to college or going back to meetings.
The JWs, on the other hand, would certainly shun her (and probably not reinstate her) for going to college, and likely disfellowship her if they knew she posted here.
I live in a city with a few universities, a couple are major universities. Every year we get a couple or few JWs from out of town. It makes for an awkward meeting when there are parts and comments with negative thoughts toward higher education. A couple times I cringed sitting in those meetings as it was offensive to those young gals from out of town in the audience. Like you guys mentioned though, there's all kind of opinions on education right now. I guess it depends on your geography regarding how "the friends" will view it. In my hall there's an unwritten law to be semi-cold or aloof towards the out of town college kids. It's almost like a townies vs students mentality that you see with neighborhoods having an influx of college students. The only difference is this time its religious in nature, and limited to congragation meetings.
I lol'd a little at your remarks misery becuase we have a well known college in our territory and have had similar situations. thankfull my congregation has lots of folks who went to college in it due to the affluent area we live in, so the comments are there but the out of towners dont get quite the cold shoulders
Please don't do this to your new husband.....
I hope you know what you are doing, but it doesn't sound like it.
I think Mad Sweeny is right, there is no "win" in this and there is much to lose.
I pray to the Good Lord to guide you and strenghten you with his Love and Grace.
Just take it slow. Think about being true to yourself. Will you like what you did a year from now? Will you feel like a phoney when you have to talk to your family and tell white lies about going to meetings, or fading? What makes you think they will still welcome you with open arms if you fade? Do you want CONDITIONAL love from your family based on 3 ELDERS judgment on whether or not you are repentent? 3 older men deciding how your family dictates your care, love and treatment? You know to make it back in, you are going to have to fake it till you make it...and then how do you fade out again? Do you think your conscience will get confused and you might become under the "spell" again and have all of those unworthy, I am gonna die in armageddon feelings? ((HUGS)) darling! Let us know how it goes, and think about this seriously.
What a Strannnnnge Post!
I just hope this situation will not be comparable to an Alcoholic that has been on the wagon for some time, taking the attitude that they can now handle a drink every now and then.
JWism like alcoholism, it's all or nothing!
JWism like alcoholism, has an effect one way or the other, on your relationship with everyone you hold near and dear.
Butterfly,
I hope that things do go well for you. Why though, do you want to be accepted by people, relatives or not, that will not accept you for who you truly are but will only accept someone a faceless corporation dictates you to be? Had you made the decision to not go back to the JWs, would your love and acceptance of these same people be conditional that they stop being JWs?
As already stated, whatever you do as a JW is never good enough. Whatever bar you need to jump over to become accepted, will be raised once you are able to consistently jump over it, otherwise, you aren't doing enough. You can't make a decision that you'll do this but not that. It's all or nothing! Since you're already disfellowshipped, you'll need to go above and beyond to make-up for your past.
As far as your family living a distance from you, I have relations (probably of equivalent relationships to the relations you're trying to accepted by) that live 300 miles away, but will have little to do with me and my family as we have done nothing more than stop attending meetings. We have been discarded even though when we had been speaking with them, we never mentioned anything negative against the W/T, JWs or said anything about not attending.
JWs live in their own small world and although it is supposedly wrong to gossip about others, there is little enjoyment JWs have in life but to talk about everyone else. Anywhere you go, there are always JWs who know someone, who know someone else in whatever congregation you have relatives in, and they are quick to talk about you and just as quick to relay the last time they saw you at a meeting.
If you are again accepted, general conversation with JW relatives will often result in discussions about assemblies, field service or other JW activities. Sometimes little questions are asked that seem to be of little significance, but your response and visual reaction will often make them suspicious and give them reason to question your status within the organization. If they are suspicious of your status, they will often discuss this with others and not directly with you.
If you're planning on fading, the relatives you're now trying to please, will probably soon find-out and discard you again. There is no honourable escape from this group.
For those who are being a hard on butterfly remember the reality here:
you can never unlearn
once you take the red pill you can never go back
you can put toothpaste back in the tube
etc
I disagree with this. Examples have been posted in this very thread about people who have become not only fully reindoctrinated but even MORE CULTY than they were the first go-round in the Borg. This is a mind control cult, not a social club. Submit to the control and you end up believing what you're told to believe.
It is comparable to those old-time Dubs who lived through the 1975 fiasco and still claim that it never happened. It has been conveniently forgotten.
Someone returning to the Borg after learning the real truth can quite easily attribute their period of disbelief as personal weakness and a time of being misled by Satan. It happens a lot.
