Alot has Changed and I'm going BACK

by Butterflyleia85 73 Replies latest jw friends

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  letsslatejws

  Whooo hoooo congratulations Butterfly your going to be a mommy .... At least now you will understand why you have been so hormonal & emotional recently. This is what has made you super sensitive and made you think you needed to return to the meetings...

  Going the meetings now and putting your body through all this unecessary stress will not do you or the little one any good. Sit back & let your parents come to you ~ a new baby on the scene may be just the thing to make them want to re-establish contact anyway !!! Time will tell.... xxx
• 

  StoneWall

  Alot has Changed and I'm going BACK

  When I first read that title, I had to double check my calendar and make sure it wasn't April 1.

  I kept waiting on someone to say "APRILS FOOLS". Then reality set in that this is September.

  I can only assume from the title then, when you say a lot has changed, you are meaning with you and not the WT Organization.

  Because last I checked they are still shunning people, talking about the end is so very close, that they are God's one true organization, making things up..such as the definition of the word "generation" etc. etc.

  But if I'm wrong and you are referring to the Org. has changed,would you mind listing some of the things that have changed that I may not be aware of?

  Oh and by the way, congratulations on the pregnancy. That is indeed a big change. Wishing and hoping you the best on the little one. :)
• 

  wasblind

  letsslatejws,

  they will keep coming back because they think that you are miserable and the only way to be happy is to come back to the Hall.

  maybe you need to let them see that you are happy, and that no man on earth can judge your spirituality.
• 

  GLTirebiter

  Butterfly, congratulations to you and your husband on your coming baby!

  I understand that you're in a tricky position, keeping one foot in and one foot out for the sake of your family. I also understand that it isn't the first time you've been through the DF/reinstatement cycle. If you do go forward with this, I wish you well and pray you have the strength to succeed. But please consider the possible consequences: consequences for you, your child, and your husband.

  but really I promise him I will never ever let the religion come between us! I promise.

  I'm sure you mean that, Butterfly. I remember giving and receiving that same promise, one long ago day. We were able to keep it for a long time, for more than a decade. But the line between Witness life and family life crept steadily, slowly inward. If my experience were summarized in one lesson, it is this: the Watchtower organization sets its own boundaries as they see fit; they will not honor your boundaries nor even respect your right to have them.

  So please, be careful and proceed with both eyes wide open. I wish the best to you and your growing family!
• 

  flipper

  BUTTERFLYLEIA- Wow. A lot has happened since you got married ! Hell- A lot has happened since you started this THREAD ! LOL ! Congratulations on you and your husband's upcoming baby into your life ! It's a wonderful feeling being a parent , having had 3 myself - I don't know what I'd do without them. But as you know- I AM without 2 of them, daughters 23 & 21 yrs. of age trapped in a mind control cult. Thank God my son is free at age 25.

  You and I have had the chance to talk on the phone a good amount before. I'm going to be upfront with you- because it's how I'm wired . I realize you feel you may be able to assist your sister & mom once you get back into the JW cult. Most times - it doesn't work that way. They, the elders, and others will be looking at YOU as if YOU are the one being tested after getting reinstated . You won't be FULLY accepted in an unconditional way. You will be on trial display to see how much you go out in service , in time answer at meetings, give talks in the ministry school again and be regular at meetings. You will be scrutinized and watched carefully. But will not be shown unconditional caring. The caring you receive will be pretend, fake caring based on your performance.

  You mentioned to your husband you would " never ever let the religion come between us ! I promise. " Is that a promise that is ONLY within your power to decide ? Once you get back into the radar and oversight of the elders- do you totally realize THEY are your spiritual caregivers ? THAT is how they see themselves - whether you see them that way or not. They will intrude into your life asking very personal questions about how you are doing and where you stand on things. How will you answer them ? Don't minimize the power of the mind control information , even if you are just sitting at the meetings. Subliminally the info seeps into our brains by just hearing the catch phrases and words they use !

  Another thing to consider is this : With a new child on the way- does your husband want the child brought up in cult mind control conditions ? What if he wants to celebrate your child's Birthday, Christmas, and other non-witness holidays ? How will THAT be handled ? Certainly a lot to think about. I'm just being straight up with you here.

  It's certainly a decision which is yours and yours alone- however I fear for what it may do to not only your marriage, but the future outlook of your child. Even if YOU don't teach your child the WT society's ways - how will you keep your mom or sister from influencing the child ? Another thing to think about. Butterfly- I just care so doggone much about your peace with your husband and future child. In my humble opinion - THAT should take priority over a possible conditional relationship with your sister or mom. The relationship with your husband & child will be based on honesty - but not the relationships with those in the congregation. I fear that will cause you great discomfort emotionally and otherwise. I wish you the best. If you ever want to talk, my wife and I are here
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  TheTruthAboutTheTruth

  I feel sorry for your husband,marraiges like this are under alot of stress , i know.mine was!
• 

  ziddina

  Wow, Butterfly...

  I am rooting for you, even though I feel VERY uncomfortable about your return...

  The difficulties of keeping one's own will while under pressure are very great...

  Many bright, healthy people have succumbed to emotional manipulation and coercion, and have been sucked - and sucked back - into cults.

  However, when I learned of your pregnancy, I became DEEPLY concerned...

  Your JW relatives, the congregation that you are now going to, and the elders of that congregation, will put INCREDIBLE pressures on you to bring your child into the cult...

  Speaking as one who was dragged into the cult when I was 5, it was HELL being raised as a JW... I got out, because I had seen enough of the "outside" world by the tender age of 5, to enable me to see there was something wrong with the Jehovah's Witnesses and their beliefs... However, my little brother, who was "born in", has NEVER escaped the cult.

  Also, being raised in a household where "Mommy" has to PRETEND to be "happy" in the cult to stay in contact with her judgmental, conditional-love JW family - in essence, live a GIGANTIC LIE - will NOT be healthy for the child...

  When I left the cult, I dumped my parents and brother - my immediate family. However, rather than remaining without a 'mother' and other relatives, I 'adopted' a 'surrogate' mother - who, by the way, treats me far better than my "biological incubator" ever did... I've made good, good friends who AREN'T in the cult, who are far nicer and kinder to me than my JW family EVER WERE...!!!

  Please remember that there ARE other options, besides returning to the cult and living a double-life - and dragging your child through that difficult situation with you...

  May you make the wisest choice that is best for you, your unborn child, and husband. May you have the strength to make that decision, and to allow your JW family to make THEIR OWN DECISION as to whether THEY will cut themselves off from you and your unborn child....

  Remember, as a result of their cult involvement, THEY will expect YOU to compromise EVERY aspect of your life, INCLUDING your relationship with your unborn child.

  May you make the BEST DECISION for you, your child, and your husband, FIRST - and may you have strength to make that decision, since it will probably be one of the most difficult decisions you will make in your life. May you make the BEST decision, not just the one that capitulates to the demands of an unreasonable cult...

  Please remember - WE are HERE FOR YOU. We will supply you with all the strengths we can, but that final step will have to be yours...

  Zid
• 

  smsalvit

  i also thought butterfly's posts were a little fishy. first of all, i have never heard of someone waking up from a coma and then wanting to go back under. i read all the posts, then i got to page three where butterfly makes her announcement of pregnancy. at this point i think this is all fake. i could be wrong, but thats my intuition speaking.

  if all of this is true, i am deeply saddened. put very simply, you are not staying true to yourself. your going to get tired of putting on an act. JW's have at least one thing right: living a double life is not easy, and you will be able to attest to that. the real truth will eat at you year after year after year, if you last that long. i strongly advise against this decision. i understand you want to be with your family, but moving on with your life without them is something that you can learn to cope with. friends, support groups, therapy, the list goes on and they all work if you use them.

  as previously stated, once you take the red pill, you can't go back.

  peace and knowledge to you butterfly
• 

  moshe

  Just explain to the JWs that you want to come back- you miss them and their----

  

  You'll come back,, except, you won't sign no stinking "no blood transfusion" card.

  And, you would like to talk to just one real live, in the flesh, member of the Faithful and Discreet Slave class, that is reportedly directing the WT worldwide work. Have the elders call bethel to locate the nearest one.

  Good luck.
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  Quillsky

  i also thought butterfly's posts were a little fishy.

  The opening post of the thread here http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/187769/1/Five-Months-Journey-of-what-I-learned-on-JWN-and-YOU-ALL-that-I-want-to-thank is the one I found to be the strangest of all.

  I'm picking up Linda-vibes.... trying to make friends with everyone at once, and seeking attention by making closely-spaced big announcements.