Was it ever in your heart? (page 2)

Lozhasleft

Yes it was in mine 100% and if I hadnt been driven out I would still be there suffering...

Loz x

White Dove

No, but what was in my heart was to do the right thing and attempt to force it to be in my heart.

It's a hard life lived doing that for years. Got depressed with all that forcing.

Much more often than not, I wanted to be anywhere but at the khall, doing anything but studying, and doing what worldly people were doing.

They seemed so happy, and I wanted a piece of that.

My real nature kept coming to the fore.

I loved taking care of people's needs, charity.

I hated discrimination and judging.

The troof began rubbing me the wrong way with it's Pharisaical way of treating people.

Then, it was my turn to be treated shabby by them, so I left.

VoidEater

What do you attribute to the main reason you were able to leave and embrace new viewpoints? Is it the heart, or your desire for intellectual satisfaction and proof, lifestyle, circumstances?

I was able to leave because staying was unbearable - the lies, hypocrisy, and constraints from being truly happy.

My heart yearned to be who I was before I was bludgeoned by so-called "right-thinking". My intellect was sick of lying to itself, pretending it was The Truth, my body rebelled at being anywhere near those that knew and supported my abuser. It's all true, and any one of them would have done the trick eventually.

Love was always in my heart. Running the risk of alienating my family was the only thing that held me back. Over time, my extended family (in my generation) all jumped ship, and the rest that stayed have continued to love me.

I'm a happy guy.

straightshooter

It was 100% in my heart when I started to read the "Truth" book. But as time went on, the unfulfilled prophesies about the end always being right around the corner, and the internal power struggles and manipulations with in the org opened my eyes to reality.

wobble

I was born in, 60 years ago, but always was aware that the religion had problems. I loved the Bible and wanted to serve God, and foolishly believed that as He had his name on the Borg He would sort it out.

In the end the demands for worship by the GB/FDS and their supplanting of Jesus proved too much, and at age 58, I walked away.

Best thing I ever did !

Magwitch

I believed it all the way. I especially loved the organization (being a 4th generation witness). I loved the book Faith on the March by McMillan - thought the governing body was holier than the apostles. When I was pioneering and did not make my time for the month I believed whole heartedly that I let Jehovah and Jesus down.

When I was 26 I had my first daughter. I started questioning the blood issue and the society's dim view of vaccinations - it all unravelled from there.

THE GLADIATOR

I loved the people and had some great friends.

I simply saw through the illusion and could not live a lie.

Simple see.

cantleave

I used to get warm, fuzzy feelings about the org and my fellow witnesses and I enjoyed the "privileges" I had. I Thought I had something special now and a future beyond comprehension in a Paradise.

Does that mean in was in my heart?

Was it ever in your heart?

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