Life in the Kingdom Hall is similar to that little white ball the croupier tosses in the Roulette wheel as it spins.
You can bounce around inside of the groove and bang up against all sorts of available options---but, when the wheel stops you almost always find the spot you are in doesn't pay off! You get DF'D.
What do you do now?
Back in the wheel for another spin? Maybe....maybe...you'll win this time?
After enough turns and spins you clatter to a loser once too often.
Why continue to play in a Lose-Lose situation?
But, what does a little white ball do if it abandons the game of roulette?
That is your Mother-in-Law's problem.
She only can see herself as a tiny white sphere with no other use but to play the game.
You can't get away from the losses of the gamble until you start to see that you are NOT the little white ball at all...you are free to leave the game and the Casino and go out into the fresh air to clear your head from all the noise and duplicity of false promises and ringing bells.
If you are hooked by an enabler of a friend, wife, sister, husband---whatever....they will keep tossing you back in and guilt-tripping you.
The FEAR has to go away first to break free.
Your wife's reaction was FEAR.
It is very similar to facing death (having your world view challenged!)
Denial, Anger, Fear follow very closely one after the other.
Breaking that cycle means interrupting the thought pattern before the mind FIXATES.
You have to cry STOP!
THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!
We are going to have a rational, informed discussion of FACTS and not crazy-talk full of threats and fear and blame-gaming!
This can break the pattern before it escalates.
There is nothing to fear from a rational discussion.
Reality is a winning trump card.
If you fear a reasoned argument you already know you are not playing with an honest deck.
Abraham himself argued with God; as did Lot; as did Moses.
Nobody dies at Armageddon because they want clarification and honest answers.
If something smells bad it is no credit to anybody to pretend it is roses.