I feel this thread shouild be removed
I AM OFFENDED
Lady Lee- who are you, and what's YOUR story?
by theMadJW 422 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Quillsky
Exactly what I said, Lee.
Life is short and the planet is huge. Go travelling or something. Discover your life.
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Lady Lee
Helping people understand the gravity of this problem? You think this is a waste of my time?
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Quillsky
No. You've done awesome work.
The time comes when you should down your tools and retire and relax.
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Lady Lee
I am retired lol
I am also disabled so traveling is a challenge.
I went and got an education when I was in my 30s after I left the WTS. So I started late. I paid a lot for my education. I might as well use it to help others.
And since I am retired the bit of time I put in here is not a hardship
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Heaven
Quillsky... some people are not built for retirement. I, for one, hope she never retires from helping people with this.
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truthseekeriam
And it's very much appreciated LL.
Many of us that are somewhat new to the nightmare of our child being molested have really benefited from you experience and your education. I have taken a lot of advice from things you have shared, including encouraging my daughter to never be ashamed of what happened to her. Proudly, I'm seeing her show that in her life. She was able to comfort a friend in school who shared with her that a grandfather was touching her. My daughter didn't hesitate to tell her and a small group of friends what happened to her and how it's so important to tell an adult so that it wont happen to anyone else. I was so happy to see she isn't hiding what happened, nor was she the least bit ashamed to tell her close friends
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Lady Lee
truth - that is awesome I am so poroud of her gawd brought tears to my eyes
Both my daughters were able to help school friends of theris who were being physically abused. I came home from school one day to find my younger daughter had a school friend in our house and they were calling social services together. There was my kid with the telephone book open on her lap to the crisis lines talking to an intake worker about her friend
If we teach them they will listen
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cognizant dissident
In my observation, people who want other people to move on emotionally, and talk about something else, usually don't want to have to deal with their own difficult emotions that are stirred up when people tell their abuse stories.
Admittedly, it is not an easy thing to listen to or read (imagine how hard it was to live it!)
I can see both sides of the issue. From my own experience I know that one of the worst things about being a victim is being silenced, not having a voice, no one wants to hear what happened to you. Nobody cares. You aren't worth listening to never mind helping. It is easier to call a child a liar than to admit this evil happened in your own family. It is easier to pretend it never happened and move on than to deal with the horrific feelings that bringing something so evil into conscious awareness triggers in a person (victim as well as listener).
Because of that, which is pretty common experience in my understanding, a huge component in healing is telling and retelling the story as many times as is needed to take the power of it away. Especially the power of "the secret", which just empowers the abuser not the victim. So retelling your story is essential.
On the other hand, also from my own experience, I know that one can keep a sense of emotional victim hood going by continually rehashing the events in ones own mind or constantly leading with that part of your life story as if that is all that defines you. I got to a point where I really didn't need to tell that part of my story to anyone anymore. I had healed and moved on and it just isn't that relevant to my life anymore.
The crucial aspect in all this is that is up to the victim to decide when that point arrives. It is very presumptuous and condescending for someone else to tell anyone when to stop grieving and finish healing no matter what the "illness" is.
Also, when someone decided to use their experience to help others and make that their life's work, it is often helpful to other victims to share your own story. They truly need to know that their counselor's "get it". I mean really, really "get it". From experience, not from book learning or a counseling 101 course. This necessitates sharing your own story over and over again, not because you haven't got over it or moved on emotionally, but because it is helpful to your clients. I'm sure there are days when Lady Lee would rather not re-visit her past and just think about something more light and carefree. But this is the helping profession she has chosen and that's a sacrifice she makes for others.
There are days when I won't click on any abuse threads, or comment on them because I just really don't want to deal with it. That doesn't mean I don't have compassion for victims. It just means I'm having a bit of compassion for myself that day. There are many, many victims out there and there needs to be many, many helpers. Just not all on the same day. Some days I do comment not really thinking anyone is paying any attention to what I have to say, and then I'll get a PM from someone saying that my post really, really helped them. I'm often surprised as I wasn't trying, just putting in my two cents worth.
My point is you just never, never know when something you say might make all the difference to someone who is suffering. fSo that's reason enough to keep talking about it, no matter how painful it is to listen to.
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Lady Lee
Yes cog There are days when I don't want to deal with it. And I wouldn't have gone so far with this thread except someone wanted to know who I am and what my story was.
Well they got it in spades. Most likely more than they dreampt of.
I won't stop talking about it. Others need to hear; need to know how bad this is and how badly the WTS deals with it.
Definitely not ready to hang up my helping shingle yet