When you realized that it was all a lie.. how did you cope? (page 4)

VoidEater

Good advice here already...

So many nights I lie awake in bed next to my dear wife, and think about how I have wasted the best years of my life working for something that is not real.

You're awake now. The best years of any life are spent awake. The best is yet to come, when you step out of the lies and live in the sunshine, honestly, openly, despite the fear and pain. I don't know how old you are, but life really started getting interesting at 40, and 50 has been the best yet.

Yet the frustrating thing is that I find myself thinking how this facade of a belief is better than no belief at all.

That's like saying, "This knife sticking into my heart is better than no knife at all." Sorry to be rude, but nonsense. It's best to have no wounds, no bleeding. Once you give up all the beliefs you've been taught, you can start to discover what is actually true for YOU.

What's better, your belief in your wife, or your wife? What's better, your belief that you live, or your living?

Life is here, waiting for you, whether you believe it or not. Jump in. The water's fine. "Don't dream it, be it!"

sabastious

I joined some volunteer groups

What kind?

I am thinking about doing the same thing, but my JW induced, anit-social behaviour is currently an obstacle.

-Sab

sabastious

You know what, the first step to your new life is to forgive the Watchtower for the crimes they committed against you.

I haven't even done this yet, but it's something I really want to do. Forgiveness always brings peace.

-Sab

leavingwt

At first, I was devastated.

Slowly, I began to fully appreciate how wonderful it was to be free.

Quirky1

10-15 beers a nite was my coping tool...Not good but effective..

Ding

SIAM,

Excellent thread! Several thoughts:

1. So much of what you were raised to believe has been exposed to you as a lie, that it's perfectly natural for you to feel betrayed and totally lost at sea at first.

2. Don't expect to figure everything out right away. Take your time.

3. At some point, you'll need to make a decision as to whether to trust the Bible or whether to toss it aside along with the Watchtower. On this website, you will find people with very differing views on this.

4. I am one of those who still trusts the Bible, though not the WTS' interpretations of it.

Unless you are prepared to abandon the Bible at this point, I would recommend that you get a non-NWT version and read through the NT on your own.

Pray for understanding.

Take things slowly.

If it would help you in your quest, I'd be happy to PM back and forth to tell you what I believe and why and respond to any struggles you may have.

5. That said, don't be looking for another organization or another fallible authority figure (including me) to give you the definitive explanation of the Bible. Christ gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us, not some faithful and discreet guru or organization. John 16:13.

6. As far as interacting with non-JWs, people are basically friendly.

7. Some JWs who come out have no problem doing things other people do, such as celebrating birthdays and holidays. Others do. I personally think there's nothing wrong with it, but if your conscience would be defiled, don't do it until you're convinced it's okay for you.

8. Since you still have family in the organization, you may want to forego doing things you are now free to do so as not to cause unnecessary friction with these loved ones you are hoping to help out of the WTS.

9. New non-JW friends most likely won't understand at all what you're going through, which is why it's helpful for you to connect with people on this website or other ex-JWs whom you trust.

Hope this helps, my friend...

brotherdan

Couldn't have said it better myself, Ding.

ex-witness

When I realized, I became an atheist. To me, that was refreshing. Not worrying about some trivial action that damns me for eternity by a sky-fairy bully was... well.. amazing.

I am not a extremist atheist (although I do wish more would give up religion and it's superstitions). But it's awesome to wonder at the nature of the universe and not be satisfied with "God made it that way".

Good luck to you. The rest stop is up ahead, with Canadian beers *bleh* and lots of friends. And no WTBS.

cyberjesus

I spent 2 months 8-10 hours a day reading non-stop. I couldnt even go to work. Then I spent 2 weeks in bed depressed, couldnt get up. Then I joined an ex-jw meetup met some ex-jws on the net, went to get therapy with a psychiatrist, read more and more books about the bible, cults and personal development.

leavingwt

I spent 2 months 8-10 hours a day reading non-stop.

Same here.

When you realized that it was all a lie.. how did you cope?

Share this