For Those Who Married "in the truth"

Magwitch

How did you meet your mate (convention, local hall)? Did you date long? Did you really have anything in common other than the same religion? Did you have to have a constant chaperone? If you did not have a chaperone - were you guilty of pre-marriage brazen conduct? Were you desperate to find anyone with a beating heart that was a JW just because you needed sex or wanted to get away from your parents?

I met my ex at pioneer school in '83. We had nothing in common other than having the same religion and being regular pioneers. Our dating consisted of going out in service and a dinner here or there - always under the watchful eye of some spiritual person (lest we become lustful).

I would love to hear your JW dating experience.

darthfader

I met my wife in the late 80's at a "group outing" -- I wasn't really looking, but... there she was. We dated for about 3 months before we got engaged. The dating consisted of sitting in her parents house watching her do all the housework. When she was done, we could sit out front and talk. One time we were invited over to my cousin's house for a "group outing". I picked her up at her house and drove about 2 miles down the street to my cousin's home. We got a stern talking to about that... We were alone on a public street for all of 5 minutes. Dating was a challenge, we spent most of our dates on her parents front yard sitting and talking -- in clear view of "everyone"... I was really nervous going over the (I think) Family Book with her and the elders. It was like we were interviewing for a job...

We have very little in common, but I enjoy her point of view. She is my counterpart.

zoiks

Yikes, Darth! Sounds...awkward. Magwitch - your story is so common...two people with nothing in common but religion. I guess that third chord is expected to pull a lot of weight much of the time...

I met my wife at a JW "gathering". We immediately clicked, started dating. We were engaged 7 months later and married about 14 months after we met. In JW dating time, that's an eternity!

As far as "brazen conduct", well... I shall plead the 5th on that subject, except to say that our chaperones often consisted of other young horny couples. So at times the supervision was a bit lax. Good times, though!

As far as the whole "finding someone with a beating heart who was a JW", I saw a LOT of that with many of my friends. It repulsed me, and I knew that only when I found my soulmate would I consider marriage. And I did!

CuriousButterfly

I met my husband through a friend, I was sort of dating another brother and hubby caught my eye. We were really good friends for a while and then we officially started dating for 2 years. Back then it seemed like an eternity but he was worth the wait. Our chaperones were our mutual friends, we would go dancing at clubs and hang out. My Dad was strict but he trusted him and I was allowed to do more as long as we had someone around.

flipper

MAGWITCH- Good thread . I was married to my JW wife from 1979 - 1998 . We dated in the late 1970's and met naturally at the kingdom hall. We went to the same high school as well. Our " dating " consisted of her younger half sister ( 10 yrs.old ) sitting in the back seat everywhere we went. Out in service a lot, going to movies, seemed like we couldn't shake her ! LOL ! My ex-wife's mom was REALLY strict as she stereotyped me as a " dirty elders son " as she had dated " elders sons " when she was a teenager. So she thought all elder's sons were sexually supercharged ! LOL !

Well- She was RIGHT about the one dating her daughter ! LOL ! When out in field service I would try to get some rural territory from my elder dad so when we DIDN'T have a chaperone - I could take my then future wife out into the country for some spiritual " making out " sessions if you know what I mean. We got our " personal study " in that way ! We never went all the way sexually before marriage - however did just about everything BUT the act. Never had to go to the elders with it - but the courtship was WAY too long. It tortured us. She was almost 16 and I was 17 and a half and we had to wait two and a half years to marry at 19 & 18. Still- way too young.

But you are right - ALL we had in common was we were both Jehovah's Witnesses and we both wanted to have " married sex " desperately. That's about it. I liked rock n'roll and blues, she liked country music- I mean we didn't have the important personality traits in common to keep us together for the right reasons. She was manipulative, I was not- more straightforward.

Weirdly enough years later when we divorced in 1998 - she brought up how she had felt guilty as a teenager making out with me in field service 20 years before. And she blamed me for it. I told her " well we both engaged in it. You didn't seem to mind then ". But she was ALWAYS one who would find some relic from the past to beat me up emotionally about. This is the same woman who today - now that our JW daughters are grown up and married ( 23 & 22 ) still tries turning my JW daughters against me. She just can't let go of vindictiveness. Thank god I'm close to my inactive 25 yr.old son - or I'd have NO kids close to me.

The WT society and organization makes it VERY hard for young people as it pushes them into marrying just to have sex within marriage so as not to get DFed. It's ridiculous because THEN young people get married for all the WRONG reasons. I mean what if you marry and can't STAND how the person has sex ? LOL ! Then you are stuck. Forever. Better for young people to experiment and get a little sexual experience BEFORE marriage - then you know you are compatible with someone. So that's my story and 2 cents. LOL ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

darthfader

(bttt)

crazy2try

I met my future husband through a mutal friend. But it wasn't until we met up again at a convention that I fell for him. He looked so stunning in his suit. Me in my sleek dress..90's with a slit that I only let flap open when the cute guys were watching. I was walking down the stairs and he was looking up from the bottom at me. Nice huh...I was like "yeah baby, your the guy."

JeffT

We met at a JW get together in the fall of '73. Both in our early twenties and studying. Not much happened for a few months, we were baptized about a month after we met. But there was a bit of attraction, we drove to the next circuit assembly together, I think a friend rode with us. We spent the weekend mostly hanging out with some other young singles. Drove home (about 90 miles) minus the chaperone, I took her out to dinner when we got back. Totally hit it off.

We dated more or less like normal people, some group stuff, some movies just us. I know there was some buzz about us being alone, but who cared, we could behave ourselves without a babysitter. Got married a year to the day after we met (leave it to the woman to remember that). In a couple of weeks (Oct 6) we'll celebrate thrity-six years together.

watersprout

I knew of Carrot for years...He was a snivelling snot as a kid and i had an overwhelming urge to smack him in the face...He felt the same about me! When i was 17 we met officially for the first time at a tribute band through mutual friends...He was actually fun to be around and used to have me in stitches...A few months later we started to ''court''...Like many others the only thing we had in common was being a JW...My parents weren't strict on the chaporone business they trusted us...Carrot's parents on the other hand constantly accused us of sleeping together...We were good, behaved until we got married...We ''courted'' for 3 years and 1 month before we got married...We are complete opposites and i am baffled as to how we are still married...Been married for 9 years so we must be doing something right!

Peace and light

Magwitch

It is so nice to hear that some marriages actually are working. As JWs we had so much going against us - so many are married as teenages, many are socially awkward, many feel guilty exploring any sexual position other than the missionary position (and let's keep the whole act under 3 minutes).

Flipper - so sorry your wife wants to turn your daughters against you. That is just tragic. Speaking from experience - I know how unbelievably loyal daughters are to their mothers (with or w/out the cult)

For Those Who Married "in the truth"

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