Share something funny
by KW13 34 Replies latest jw friends
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troubled mind
CURTAIN RODS----PRICELESSShe spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things..On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!!People stopped coming over to visit.. Repairmen refused to work in the house.. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house.Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........ ..And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods.I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T You -
troubled mind
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.
In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions'.
'Onions?'
'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?'The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'well dear, a man goes through three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. I
n his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'.
'A Christmas tree?' 'Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration
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Leolaia
Check this out.....FUNNY!!!