So far I've managed to avoid speaking to the elders who drop by. Just wondering if they'll eventually give up in a couple years. Anyone have experience with this?
Has anyone successfully faded without moving out of the territory?
by NiceDream 33 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
We have.....we just send the elders on their way if we get "ambushed," or don't even answer the door especially if they did not call first and make an appointment...ten years now.
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snowbird
I'm in the process of fading, no meeting since 2005, only 2 elders' visits.
Still live in the same place since 1983 - they know where to find me, but so far, have left me alone.
My 21-year old college JW daughter is still very much in - she lives with me.
If pressured, I intend to give the elders the full monty, but otherwise plan on laying low until my daughter leaves home.
Syl
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NiceDream
Wow! I'm so relieved to hear that you don't have to move away to escape. The elders here dropped by twice in 6 months, but they were easy to turn away.
Snowbird - only 2 visits in 5 years! What a lucky lady.
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brotherdan
I think you just have to be careful of what you say (so that they dont think there are any "doubts" in your heart). And let them know that you are doing really good! When they see that you are not a depressed "apostate" you will quickly fade from their memory (or so I've been told).
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undercover
Yep... I'm out. Still live in the same house when I first went inactive. I've been faded long enough now that dubs are calling on my door in regular field service. I don't recognize them, they don't recognize me.
I do get the odd, once in a blue moon, sheparding call. I had one elder, early spring, try to "encourage" me on a couple of calls, but when I was unresponsive to his efforts, not even willing to talk, he gave up.
It can be done, but it ain't easy and it takes time and patience. And don't go around trying to "save" all your JW buddies. Most spook too easy and if you're too persistant in trying to show them the error of the WTS, they will run to the elders.
Stay on the down low, wait for your blip to disappear off the radar screen and go on about your life.
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Open mind
Switching congregations is a good idea even if you don't physically change your residence.
If you have several to choose from within a 30 minute radius, select the one where you know the fewest people. Then you're just another body the elders have to answer for to Jehovah, err, the Circuit Overseer. They'll go through the bare minimum motions in our experience.
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God_Delusion
Yep and I've successfully got my wife out to thanks to the information I found on this forum.
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snowbird
NiceDream, I have had one surprise visit.
I wrote about it here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/191371/1/A-Visit-From-The-Reformed-Village-Strumpet
She hasn't come around in 5 months now.
She doesn't know that the widow woman on whom she is calling has told me their little secret.
The two of them have been going deep into the woods to find men. The place is so far back that no one would think about looking for them there. They buy liquor and head up there every weekend. The backwoodsmen are only too glad to have them!
One evening, I saw them parked at a convenience store; the widow woman was buying the liquor; the once-reformed village strumpet pretended she didn't see me!
Tee hee hee.
Syl
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scarredforlife
My mother faded without ever moving. She lived in the same house for 30+ years without attending a meeting. As far as I know she was never bothered by shepherding visits. She would not have answered the door if they came unexpectedly.
Of course, when my father died, the PO did show up with his wife. I met them in the front yard and told them to leave and never come back.
That may have something to do with my mother never being bothered by them.