For a hassle free fade - I'll repeat what Gregor said - When talking to JW's "Bite your Tongue!"
Has anyone successfully faded without moving out of the territory?
by NiceDream 33 Replies latest jw friends
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letsslatejws
Weve faded for a whole year now. Weve had visits every month, then every 6 weeks and then out the blue 2 weekly. They so far havent been for the last 6 weeks so Im hoping they will eventually leave us alone. They seem determined to keep dropping the latest WT / Awake with us. Im not altogether sure I want this to stop as I like looking through them to laugh and scoff at the rubbish in them. There is absolutely NO danger that I will get re-sucked in !!!!
I had hoped to tell them to push off as Id really love to decorate the front of the house for Xmas (for the benefit of my junior/teen children) but quite frankly I dont see this happening...
I dream of a hugh blow up Father Xmas on the lawn, and instead of a sign stating Santa Stop Here i'd have Bog Off JW's :)
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NiceDream
Lots of successful faders!
letsslatejws - LOL! Love your idea for holiday decorations! Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be decorating anytime soon...but perhaps I'll have a tiny Christmas tree in a few years if my hubby gets out...and make sure the curtains remain closed so we don't get in trouble. Once he's out though, I want to move so I can have carved pumpkins and Christmas lights.
Great advice about biting your tongue and keeping positive...I need to remember those points for future visits.
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Found Sheep
so far so good for me. 2 years out. They tried to find reasons to Df me because I show up at weddings and partys when it is by someone that treats me like a human and I want to go. When I gave the "I'll sue" if you continue to harrass me they left me alone. I think they are just pissed that they didn't DF me when they had a chance - public humiliation, reproof- now I am happy, don't go to meetings, married a worldly man and if I decide to decorate I'll use my husband can decorate his house any way he wants response. you can fade just don't talk much. One elder asked why I stopped and I said I don't feel like the congregation cares about me and want friends that do. only 1 of 100 reasons but that is all I will ever say to any of them. The congregation was rude to me so they don't have anything to say.
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truthseekeriam
So far so good. It's been over a year and a half and the elders out on service don't even bother coming to the door, they send the new ones who don't know us
It's funny we use to hide out when we seen them coming by turning the TV off and making sure we were quite, now we don't even care. The dogs are barking, kids got the music blaring and we're cooking breakfast without missing a beat. Once you stop giving them any power over you, you breath much easier.
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eyeslice
I still live in the same house and have all but faded from view. Being a former elder and very much at the centre of the congregation, I did have quite a bit of attention at first, including a visit from the district overseer. However, that soons stops.
My wife is still a regular attender but I get virtually no attention from the local elders. The only time I get a visit is after the memorial and when I point out that they only reason they visit is because they have been instructed to by the society to follow up on memorial attenders, they get slight embarrassed.
I agree, if you don't want trouble, then you need to hold your tongue. Sounding off about the society, doctrines, etc, is unlikely to get you anywhere.
I used to fear getting disfellowshipped because that would mean having absolutely no contact with people that I had counted my friends for years. But I am less bothered now, I would not feel any loss.
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yourmomma
been fading for 2 years, 0 elders visits, 0 phone calls. hope it stays that way. i will not answer the phone or the door ever.
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VampireDCLXV
I had a partial nervous breakdown in Jan 2008 and dropped FS cold. I hardly attended meetings, sat in the back, didn't attend bookstudy, avoided people in public, didn't answer my phone for anyone except family. For a couple of months my house was staked out a few times. I avoided the memorial because that's when everyone is expected to be there. I did this kind of holding pattern until about Jul 2008 when I had a huge blowup with my mom over the lovelessness of the Borg. I just couldn't go anymore. I hid under a rock 'till this past summer. Hardly any visits.
Two years after I stopped attending I'm still not certain about my success in fading. My mom still visits me and stays a while for other "personal business". The others don't have to visit because my mom is there to tell them what's going on with me. I don't tell family much about my personal life anymore but I still fear the spies...
V665
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factfinder
I stopped going to meetings in 2005. I heard from one elder twice- after I wrote to him. Noone else in the cong comes by or calls. They all just ignore me.
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OnTheWayOut
Similar situation to Eyeslice. My wife attends regularly, but I don't even go to the Memorial.
I resigned as an elder in Summer of 2006 and stopped attending all meetings in April 2007.
I simply said "No, thanks" to their attempt to call on me. I don't cower and hide, I have dropped my wife off and picked her up at the Hall, my path has crossed theirs a few times. I am polite and that's the end of that. The few who said "We miss you" were told "I still have the same phone number, call me and we can do lunch." Nobody ever ever calls and takes me up on that.