Update on my JC hearing...received the expected news

by SweetBabyCheezits 51 Replies latest jw friends

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  SweetBabyCheezits

  VB, yeah, Mom and Dad aren't taking it well. It's creating a lot of stress and turmoil for them and I really hate that. What's worse is they can't see that their religion is the SOURCE of this turmoil... instead they assign those feelings to me and my actions. For example, anytime the subject comes up, Mom tells me that they have no choice. I want to tell them how happy they can be without the chains of the WT but it's pointless. Mom's really emotional and "loves the truth." (There's a section in The God Delusion that describes this attachment perfectly.)

  I had a nice dinner with them a few days ago when the Mrs went outta town for a bridal shower. We didn't discuss religion, god, or faith the whole time. That's how things could've been had we been allowed to fade. Strange that they still treat me about the same even though they're aware of the DF verdict. The power of one little announcement.... geez.

  Misery, the wedding is this upcoming weekend. We will turn in our letters of appeal today, succesfully delaying the announcement until after the wedding. I'm thankful for that.

  Misocup, I agree that the WTBTS's power and control are disgusting. Unfortunately, it seems that religious shunning is pretty much out of the court's juridsiction and if the org words the announcement just right ("so-and-so is no longer one of JWs"), no harm no foul. And the law can't really force members to associate with nonmembers if it's a "personal decision" for the member.

  I may post my appeal letter for suggestions in a bit.
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  miseryloveselders

  Misery, the wedding is this upcoming weekend. We will turn in our letters of appeal today, succesfully delaying the announcement until after the wedding. I'm thankful for that.

  Ya know what, its gloomy and raining where I'm at today, but reading that just made my day!! You and your wife better go to that wedding and have a blast!! Enjoy yourselves, and have a beer and an extra slice of cake for me. That was truly some good news.
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  Ri

  I just want you to know I am proud of you....Don't let them suck you back in....they keep sending me cards with little notes to attend meetings again as I just left and never went back five years ago this month. The courage came from this web site
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  SweetBabyCheezits

  Lol, thanks, Misery! My daughter is the flower girl and my son's the ring bearer so we're gonna party (like it's 2010) with the dubs one last time.

  What part of the country are you in? It's AMAZING weather here in NE Texas. Clear blue skies all week long, with 70s & low 80s for highs. (Sorry to gloat. )
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  miseryloveselders

  Northeast here, although it looks like Ireland or the UK outside. People with runny noses and bad perms everywhere.
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  SweetBabyCheezits

  Thank you, Ri. Congrats on your 5 year anniversary of ditching, too. I see no reason for me or my family to ever go back.
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  SweetBabyCheezits

  ...bad perms everywhere.
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  zoiks

  My daughter is the flower girl and my son's the ring bearer so we're gonna party (like it's 2010) with the dubs one last time.

  Good for you!
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  sd-7

  Having been through this--with my wife not merely disagreeing with me, but siding with the elders (see my "Borg court" postings here)--I would say I can understand what you're going through. But I can't. I will say, however, that I'm glad for your sake that your wife has stood with you on this. It can't be easy, but it must be a heck of a lot easier.

  I thought of telling my friends about what I learned, until I realized that I didn't have the luxury of friends anymore. Never did. Your knowledge has ended those friendships for you. I'd say they don't deserve to be saved, but then, I was once just like them.

  I thought of recording my judicial committee, but I've got a soft spot for low-tech recording. I couldn't afford a proper spy cam, so...I just used pen and paper. The most they did was ask why I was writing it all down. "This is one of the most important moments of my life. I'd like have to some record of what happened," I replied. I couldn't get every detail, but I wrote down enough, and the rest is burned into my memory. Somewhere between the two is my records of it here on JWN. It's not worth going to a JC, but I wanted to know what it was like, wanted to drag the beast into open combat and see what it could do. I learned all I needed to learn about Jehovah's Witnesses in those 5 hours or so. I learned more than I ever did about them in the 24 years since my mother got baptized and I was raised amongst them.

  Wish you the best. Hope you can find your way.

  -sd-7
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  Balsam

  You need to get letter off to your family explaining why before the KH announcement otherwise they will feel they can't read your letter. I did that before they announced I was disfellowshipped and my friends and family got the letter about a week before the announcement. Some contacted me expressing surprise, some were mum, some were angry with me but they all knew how things stood. They knew how I felt and it was up to them to figure it out. This period is liberating but upsetting for you all, you may loose your JW family that are still in, just accept it, it is up to them.