Okay. Everyone is making me crack up laughing. Especially the pictures!!! OMG! I'm so glad I have some validation on my situation.
I just had "the conversation" with her. My personality is to be nice so I was. But I was assertive.
We went out onto the nice outdoor living area and I told her to sit down. I just looked around at all the pee on the patio. And she spoke up.
"I'm sorry I didn't clean the poop last night. I was just too tired. I will be more on top of it...."
I stayed quiet, looking at the pee. So she said:
"I can hose down the patio every day too if you want."
Finally I spoke:
"This is the thing. We don't really like pets. We allowed our own daughters a dog once, with conditions of course. We told them the same as we told you. We said, 'you have to walk that dog and train it where it's supposed to go to the bathroom. You have to clean up it's poop afterward even ifit's gross and throw it in the trashcan. You have to keep it clean...' M ... do you know what happened with their dog? We made them get rid of it. And those were our kids. They didn't follow the rules. So they made that choice. Not us."
So she said:
"I understand. I will start walking the dog. OR ... can I just put a piece of poop somewhere else in the yard so he will know to go there instead?"
Me:
O.O look on my face. "You can walk the dog and show it where to go and clean up its crap after it's done going like all the other neighbors do every morning bright and early when I'm driving to work and all my other friends who own dogs do. They walk their dog twice a day, rain or shine, heat or cold. A dog is a responsibility. Either you want the responsibility or you don't."
Her:
"Okay, I will walk the dog and not let it go anymore on your yard." (Here she's thinking she's getting away with no discussion on the rent sitch)
Me:
"One other thing. I don't like to ask people for money they owe me. It's against my nature. But I will ask you because my kids moved out because I asked them to pay rent. If anyone is going to live here free it's going to be them."
Her:
"I know. I know. The check should be here today or Monday at the latest..."
Me:
"OK. But you will owe me again on the 17th. And from that point forward I will not allow you to pay me late. The next conversation we would have is me giving you a vacate notice."
Her:
"I really like it here. It's really nice. I don't mean to take advantage of you. I think you think I'm disrespecting you. I pay my bills....."
Me:
"That's fine. But I've been very understanding and flexible. But my flexibility is run out. So make sure you pay me what you owe me for this month and that you save enough to pay me on the 17th. Because I don't want to be the person that has to search you out every month and ask you to pay what you know you owe. I WILL NOT be that person."
Her:
"Okay. Understood."
Sooooo, I know everyone thinks I should just kick her out right now. And I SHOULD. She deserves it. But I'm going to give her one last chance to make it right. The lease states she cannot have any sleepovers. So that is that. The very second I see anyone sleeping over I will tell her she is out. I put that in there because of my son. No way, no how will I put him at risk.