by Green Jade 72 Replies latest jw friends
Hello Green Jade and welcome to the gang. This is a very good place to be. Many of us werent sure who we were and where we stood. You will find your way and I'm sure this forum will help you do that. The wonderful thing is it wouldnt matter if you were disfellowshipped because on here people take as they find ...(mostly) there is humour yep, we need that, there is heartbreak, there is grief and sorrow and anger but there is much kindness and support here....enjoy !
Loz x
Green Jade, welcome!
I can't say that I'm where you are at now, but I was at one time. My attendance had dropped down to rarely. I still considered myself a Witness. Not disfellowshipped, not disassociated, just absent.
I was raised a Witness. My father was an elder. A well-liked one who knew so many other JWs throughout the whole state. Even when I wasn't attending, I knew it was the right religion. And I knew from years of being a JW that there were various flaws with other religions so I knew I'd never defect to go to one of them.
Now granted, I did not think all of the people had it together. I knew there were flawed individuals who made mistakes. Elders who were drones in real life, but heady with the power of being an elder with the chance to be important somewhere. But the one thing I did believe was that God was behind it all. That at headquarters, they were united and godly.
I had started dating a "worldly" girl. When I told her what I was, she freaked out. I thought that was an over-reaction, but it really troubled her. Shortly afterward, there was a show on TV about the JWs, with a guy talking about them. She wanted me to watch it. I did and the guy had some books for sale about JWs. Among them was Ray Franz's book, Crisis of Conscience. I ordered it.
I remembered when Franz defected several years before. There was a blurb in something like Newsweek. That caused a bit of a stir since he was on the Governing Body. How could somebody that connected (and at the time, I thought God operated directly through them), how could he defect? Other friends had defected. I was always curious. I was a smart guy. Surely whatever they're stumbling over could be explained, answered. Maybe I could figure it out. The question was, what was it they were stumbling over? Once somebody got booted out for apostacy, I didn't really have the chance to ask them, and this was before the internet.
So I ordered and read Ray Franz's book. What I found wasn't one thing, it was a bunch of things. Do you as a JW realize how much the religion has changed? If any JW believed even half of what Russell taught he'd be disfellowshipped for apostacy. And this is the organization God chose - that taught so many different things back then? Is Jehovah going to resurrect all of those early 'apostate' JWs? There were things I read about the way the governing body really works. I had this idealistic picture of people all in harmony, only maybe disagreeing on inconsequential points. Not so. Big divisions. Even when a majority voted for something, it required a 2/3rds vote. I read about how they went back and forth on things. If Jehovah was guiding them, why would he direct them to publish something untrue, change it, change it back, then change it again? To what purpose? It was sick to read about things like organ transplants. How at first they didn't allow them. How many JWs died because they refused them? Only to have the Governing Body come out with 'new light' later? Jehovah wasn't guiding these men. I read about 1914 and it's chronology. It's unsupportable. Even within the Bible - I'm not talking about outside chronologies of historians - scriptures that show it's unsupportable.
In 1994 (or thereabouts), the JWs changed the meaning of 'generation' to mean a broader scope of people than just 70-80 years (maybe because 80 years was up since 1914)? I read this book 3 years before the change in doctrine. Within it, Franz shows a proposal to the Governing Body on changes to the 1914 doctrine. Apparently submitted, I believe, in the late 70's, early 80's. One of the proposals on that list was re-interpreting the meaning of genea (generation). If this organization was run by God, why didn't God cause these men to recognize what is now considered JW truth at least a dozen years earlier? Does God want us to believe falsehoods? Isn't He a God of Truth?
After reading that book, I knew I couldn't be a Witness any longer. I couldn't go elsewhere, but I couldn't be a Witness. It was like a magic trick. Once you know the secret, you will never watch it in wonder again. Now that I saw the men behind the curtain, I couldn't teach it again. How could I be a JW knowing 1914 was wrong? How could I trust a Governing Body that flip-flops on doctrine? How could I try to bring others into that mess? That would be morally wrong.
And religion is one thing. Lots of people believe a lot of different crazy things. It's the strangle-hold they have over people that makes them different. You qualified yourself as not disfellowshipped. Because you know people won't talk to you if you are. There's a whole issue of control at work here. All to isolate you and keep you loyal. They even have a different language. It's not a church, it's a Kingdom Hall. They're not fathers or pastors, they're elders. It's a mental tool to keep you seperate.
If you are still inclined to follow God, why do it through a religion? Why have them tell you what is right and wrong? The JWs will be so eager to point to the story about the Ethiopian reading the Bible and saying he can't understand it without somebody to teach it to him. Well, there are plenty of accordances, Bible dictionaries, lexicons, and the like that are religion-independent. They aren't going to dictate to you what it means. Go to it. Learn for yourself. Develop your own relationship with God. Surely He won't care which religion you belong to if you have that relationship.
When I started reading the Bible after leaving, some of it was a bit shocking. There were things I read that I never realized before. Those scriptures weren't among the hand-picked ones we flipped back and forth to. We never just read the Bible. We only grabbed scriptures here and there to make a point, probably out of context. And get yourself a non-JW bible. Theirs has been altered to suit their teachings. The name Jehovah, for instance, is not used once in the original Greek. They just felt it belonged there. Oh, so you can change the Bible for what you feel belongs there? The closest regular modern English version to what you're used to may be the NIV.
Welcome Green Jade.
I can see that english is not your native language. Could you tell us a little bit more about yourself? Like what nationality you are, how you found this board, your story, etc. We are just as confused about you as you are about us...
As for how to change your user picture, you have to go to www.gravatar.com and register there with the same email address your used to register here.
Good luck and stick around...
V665
For me, it's a nice venting venue for some small silly frustrations of my own with the Organization. Also, it's a place where I sometimes defend the Org from the vast majority of liars and disgruntled members here.
Totally mixed feelings about it, but it really doesn't matter one bit as I don't spend much time here at all.
Just have fun with it; take the useful and leave the rest alone. Hopefully, as it happened to me, soon you'll find there isn't much useful stuff at all here and you'll find more productive ways to spend your time.
DY
We're glad you don't spend much time here anymore too, DY...
V665
Jesus.... to many words. ok let me help.
Read the threads and respond when you feel like you can contribute something. Ignore the ones you dont want to read. After you have read 50 or so you will have a feeling of what kind of website this is. I hope you understand me.
oh and welcome
soon you'll find there isn't much useful stuff at all here and you'll find more productive ways to spend your time.
DY
Said "Doubtfully Yours" while posting on JWN..
............................. 
...OUTLAW
The longer you stay and watch or interact ...... the sooner you will decide what this place is.
Evil or Paradise.
Sometimes Paradise can seem like a Jungle till you learn the ropes.
I realize there is never fighting or differences in the Kingdom Hall....
here we can have our difference's .... many have lots in common and are UNAFRAID to speak our thoughts something that is frowned upon... in some Organizations.
Jade;
for someone who is not too computer savvy, you sure know how to "quote" on your replies, very quick learner , better then I can do.
