Hi all.
My story. It's been a while coming.
I have been lurking around here for 10 months or so.
Reading just about everyday. Thank Steve Jobs for the IPhone.
I haven't worked out how to post from the Iphone. If that's even possible. I guess I would have posted a fair amount by now.
I live in Aust. Yeah the big flat place down south.
I am married to the best girl one could want or have. She was raised in the truth. haha. Yeah right.
I started studying in when I was 19 think.
Baptized a year or 2 later. So spent my 20's in the Borg.
I have always been the quite type so never reached out for anything. Had a few good friends in the Cong back then. We were a bunch of boys with cars. Caused all sorts of trouble for the elders. Looking back we were a good bunch trying to make something of our selves within the laws of the org.
The elders. Man the arse holes I saw come en go And deal with. Holy spirit my arse. These guys tried to railroad so many people it made me sick. But kept it all in. As u know I thought it was gods org.
If I saw these people now I would let them have it as in tell them to there face they were are evil SOB'S. Not very likely now as I have faded from the org. And no chance of going to any assemblies in the future.
So much to tell. To many stories.
I recently went though a bout of depression which was driving me to suicide. To much pain and guilt over never being good enough or doing enough.
My wife has had medical conditions which she has battled with since her teens so we could never do as much as others. We jus done what we could.
But me supposedly being head of the house had to do more.
As we Aussies say. Pigs arse.
My job is to look after my wife 1st and any thing else comes next. Anyway this had lead to many elders and friends. ( yeah that word they use for bros& sisters)
Judging me as unworthy of any privileges or such cos I put her 1st before the Cong or service or what ever.
There is more, god I could write a book.
All this crap over the year took it's toll.
So going to meetings got harder. The dirty looks when missing meetings en such.
Well it gets one down. Well it did me.
Wanted out. Wanted it to stop was sick of all the bullshit from everyone.
Watching arse wipes suck up the the elders all the time. I guess u guys have seen it all before.
Well I have watched all this for 20 odd years. It's makes one hard. Jaded.
Anyway the wife and I faded this year. And we both have been so lucky we are together in this endeavor of fading from this bloody cult.
Most I have read are not so lucky.
She read COC. After a fellow fader lent it to her early this year. I still haven't read it. But then reading these forums kinda does the trick anyway. So much information on here.
I have come good after leaving all the guilt behind. Not any where near as sad and depressed as before. Even happy now. And for some taking note. I am on anti depressants still.
Hope to be off them soon.
Been on them since late last year.
I do have heaps more to tell but. Yeah trying to put if down in a post is probably to long and boring.
Thanks for reading & hope it made sense.
I don't know how many of us Aussies are on here but it would be good to know some.
Hmmm that's it for now.