Treatment of Disfellowshipped/Disassociated ones

by KW13 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • KW13
    KW13

    This Article is quite ridiculous. Please prepare yourself. It is an older one but i think that for the benefit of those who are not witnesses who do not understand how the Witnesses are instructed to treat ex-witnesses, it makes an interesting read and will hopefully provide a good insight.

    My heart goes out to those of you who are being shunned right now, i hope one day your family are free and that you can spend quality time with them.

    Watchtower 1988 4/15

    What About Relatives?

    11 God certainly realizes that carrying out his righteous laws about cutting off wrongdoers often involves and affects relatives. As mentioned above, when an Israelite wrongdoer was executed, no more family association was possible. In fact, if a son was a drunkard and a glutton, his parents were to bring him before the judges, and if he was unrepentant, the parents were to share in the just executing of him, ‘to clear away what is bad from the midst of Israel.’ (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) You can appreciate that this would not have been easy for them. Imagine, too, how the wrongdoer’s brothers, sisters, or grandparents felt. Yet, their putting loyalty to their righteous God before family affection could be lifesaving for them.

    12 Recall the case of Korah, a leader in rebellion against God’s leadership through Moses. In his perfect justice, Jehovah saw that Korah had to die. But all loyal ones were advised: “Turn aside, please, from before the tents of these wicked men and do not touch anything that belongs to them, that you may not be swept away in all their sin.” Relatives who would not accept God’s warning died with the rebels. But some of Korah’s relatives wisely chose to be loyal to Jehovah, which saved their lives and led to future blessings.—Numbers 16:16-33; 26:9-11; 2 Chronicles 20:19.

    13 Cutting off from the Christian congregation does not involve immediate death, so family ties continue. Thus, a man who is disfellowshipped or who disassociates himself may still live at home with his Christian wife and faithful children. Respect for God’s judgments and the congregation’s action will move the wife and children to recognize that by his course, he altered the spiritual bond that existed between them. Yet, since his being disfellowshipped does not end their blood ties or marriage relationship, normal family affections and dealings can continue.

    14 The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home. It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum, in line with the divine principle: “Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person [or guilty of another gross sin], . . . not even eating with such a man.”—1 Corinthians 5:11.

    15 Understandably, this may be difficult because of emotions and family ties, such as grandparents’ love for their grandchildren. Yet, this is a test of loyalty to God, as stated by the sister quoted on page 26. Anyone who is feeling the sadness and pain that the disfellowshipped relative has thus caused may find comfort and be encouraged by the example set by some of Korah’s relatives.—Psalm 84:10-12.

    --- The Court Decision

    16 You may want to know the outcome of the court case involving a woman who was upset because former acquaintances would not converse with her after she chose to reject the faith, disassociating herself from the congregation.

    17 Before the case went to trial, a federal district court summarily granted judgment against her. That judgment was based on the concept that courts do not get involved in church disciplinary matters. She then appealed. The unanimous judgment of the federal court of appeals was based on broader grounds of First Amendment (of the U.S. Constitution) rights: “Because the practice of shunning is a part of the faith of the Jehovah’s Witness, we find that the ‘free exercise’ provision of the United States Constitution . . . precludes [her] from prevailing. The defendants have a constitutionally protected privilege to engage in the practice of shunning. Accordingly, we affirm” the earlier judgment of the district court.

    18 The court opinion continued: “Shunning is a practice engaged in by Jehovah’s Witnesses pursuant to their interpretation of canonical text, and we are not free to reinterpret that text . . . The defendants are entitled to the free exercise of their religious beliefs . . . Courts generally do not scrutinize closely the relationship among members (or former members) of a church. Churches are afforded great latitude when they impose discipline on members or former members. We agree with [former U.S. Supreme Court] Justice Jackson’s view that ‘[r]eligious activities which concern only members of the faith are and ought to be free—as nearly absolutely free as anything can be.’ . . . The members of the Church [she] decided to abandon have concluded that they no longer want to associate with her. We hold that they are free to make that choice.”

    19The court of appeals acknowledged that even if the woman felt distress because former acquaintances chose not to converse with her, permitting her to recover for intangible or emotional injuries would unconstitutionally restrict the Jehovah’s Witnesses free exercise of religion . . . The constitutional guarantee of the free exercise of religion requires that society tolerate the type of harms suffered by [her] as a price well worth paying to safeguard the right of religious difference that all citizens enjoy.” This decision has, in a sense, received even more weight since it was handed down. How so? The woman later petitioned the highest court in the land to hear the case and possibly overturn the decision against her. But in November 1987, the United States Supreme Court refused to do so.

    20 Hence, this important case determined that a disfellowshipped or disassociated person cannot recover damages from Jehovah’s Witnesses in a court of law for being shunned. Since the congregation was responding to the perfect directions that all of us can read in God’s Word and applying it, the person is feeling a loss brought on by his or her own actions.

    ---Discipline—Many Benefit

    21 Some outsiders, upon hearing about disfellowshipping, are inclined to sympathize with a wrongdoer who can no longer converse with members of the Christian congregation. But is not such sympathy misplaced? Consider the potential benefit that the wrongdoer and others may receive.

    22 For example, on page 26 we noted Lynette’s comment about her choice ‘to cut herself off completely from all association’ with her disfellowshipped sister Margaret. She and her Christian relatives ‘believed that Jehovah’s way is best.’ And it is!

    23 Lynette’s sister later told her: ‘If you had viewed the disfellowshipping lightly, I know that I would not have taken steps toward reinstatement as soon as I did. Being totally cut off from loved ones and from close contact with the congregation created a strong desire to repent. I realized just how wrong my course was and how serious it was to turn my back on Jehovah.’

    ----

    In Short, its all very heartless.

  • Ding
    Ding

    I knew a DFd teenage girl whose parents wouldn't speak to her.

    She was nearly suicidal, so I went and told them how bad things were.

    They told me that she knew what she needed to do to get them back... come back into the truth.

    They really believed this was the ultimate in love.

    Fortunately, a family of ex-JWs took the girl in and showed her some real love.

  • ninetynine
    ninetynine

    I am disgusted by this practice, even listening to this all my life on why we "do it" thank God i never believed in it. Compassion always over came me.

    A Uncle of mine was disfellowshipped when i was little, and eventhough i was given the spill to not talk to him i always disobeyed, even at a young age i knew it was wrong.

    I am actually very open on this subject and most witnesses (mostly of the younger generation) agree.

    A few years ago my husband and I went out for a night, we were enjoying a drink and listening to music when a ex sister walked in ( we grew up together in the same cong) i immediately went over to her and gave her a big hug, when she whispered in my ear that she was disfellowshipped, and i replied and "so what", i then said for her to come and sit with us, we talked and enjoyed each others company, religion wasn't mentioned it was really lovely. I did not care if i was going to be pulled up by the elders, my come back on this matter is that we are taught to do what Jesus would, and in my opinion i just can not see Jesus agree to shunning, i think its wrong and disgusting behaviour.

    I call this behaviour: Bullying

    We have laws against bullying in the work place and schools why not in religion?????

    Shame on parents who do not talk to their own kids!! Shame on kids who do not talk to their own parents!! Shame on siblings who do not talk to each other.

    if a child of mine came to me and said mum i am gay, of course i wont be happy about it just like any other sin, but i will never ever shun them my kids are always my kids and i am always their mother, no religion, no person will ever disrupt my relationship with them, in the end thats Gods doing and his judgement, whatever he says and rules then i will accept it, but never from another imperfect human.

  • Ding
    Ding

    << my come back on this matter is that we are taught to do what Jesus would, and in my opinion i just can not see Jesus agree to shunning, i think its wrong and disgusting behaviour. >>

    Don't you think the WT religion has really replaced Jesus with the "faithful and discreet slave"?

    Jesus becomes a person of historical significance only.

    As a Witness, you don't interact with Jesus at all, not even in prayer.

    It's all about the men in New York and your submission to them.

    I'm glad you stood against that!

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    The person is feeling the loss caused by their own actions? What about those cases where they are disfellowshipped for "apostasy" because they questioned something the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger put in a Washtowel rag that contradicts what they put in another rag a few months ago? Or, that keeps going in circles? Or, they get tired of doing 60 hours of field circus a month, get hounded to continue at 60 instead of cutting down to 15 for a few months, and simply want to stop being hounded to do 60 hours a month no matter what the consequences?

    Yet, they will not cut people off that molest children and do not have two witnesses to the event, or that kill and eat babies and do not have two witnesses. Seems that, to get disfellowshipped for these extreme offenses, they need to have the secular law bust them and expose them on the news. Only then will the witlesses do anything, and then only to be able to say that the offenders were disfellowshipped at the time of the offense.

  • nicenice
    nicenice

    looks nice analysis.

  • Evidently Apostate
    Evidently Apostate

    i agree with wtw they will turn a blind eye to pedophilia for the image of the org but question them and punishment is met speedily. disfellowshipping is punishment met out to control negative information and critical thinking and has very little to do with healing, readjusting one, or justice. it is a powerful weapon wielded by uneducated laborers.

  • bobld
    bobld

    Is this not the modern updated version of the INQUISITION.The WBTS should condemn the inquisition not bring it back to life.Just look at the suffering of all those poor souls.But the wbts like to make people suffer.

    B

  • KW13
    KW13

    ninetynine said; A few years ago my husband and I went out for a night, we were enjoying a drink and listening to music when a ex sister walked in ( we grew up together in the same cong) i immediately went over to her and gave her a big hug, when she whispered in my ear that she was disfellowshipped, and i replied and "so what", i then said for her to come and sit with us, we talked and enjoyed each others company, religion wasn't mentioned it was really lovely. I did not care if i was going to be pulled up by the elders, my come back on this matter is that we are taught to do what Jesus would, and in my opinion i just can not see Jesus agree to shunning, i think its wrong and disgusting behaviour.

    ---

    Good for you. Unconditional Love is the thing what people need, there is nothing more isolating and soul destroying than being ignored by those you love.

    Ding said; I knew a DFd teenage girl whose parents wouldn't speak to her.

    She was nearly suicidal, so I went and told them how bad things were.

    They told me that she knew what she needed to do to get them back... come back into the truth.

    They really believed this was the ultimate in love.

    Fortunately, a family of ex-JWs took the girl in and showed her some real love.

    ---

    I was kicked out of my home by my mother/stepfather because i attended Church. For me, Church was like my Methadone. I weened myself off the hardcore religious stuff, using Church as a substitute. We had a row one night about it and the next morning a bag was thrown in my room by a hand (apparently i wasn't good enough to see my mothers face that day?) and i was told 'pack'.

    I Moved in with my Uncle. At the Church a guy i began talking tol came up to me and said "Here's £200, treat yourself".

    Amazing how strangers and others can be kind without being Jehovah's Witnesses isn't it. Bit of a shock to the system though when your taught that everyone else is evil.

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    I'm quite amused at how the Printing Corporation takes a Court decision and rubs the noses of dubs in it as if to say, "Hey! The Courts agreee with us! We can get away with anything! You folks are all screwed if you don't do what we say and there is NOTHING you can do about it! NAH NAH NAH NAH, NAAAAAAAAHYA!"

    Assholes.

    :Being totally cut off from loved ones and from close contact with the congregation created a strong desire to repent.

    Bullshit. Genuine repentance comes from the heart, not from having a gun pointed at your head.

    Farkel

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