My perception of posters (page 2)

Scully

Lee writes:

For example: Let's say Poster XYZZZ told me off. I was pretty hurt by what he said. Now I could have taken that hurt and not dealt with it in a healthy way. Then the next time I see him post something I take those negative feelings and add them to whatever post he makes even if his post is not directed towards me. Pretty soon I see all his posts as being very negative.

Another example: I didn't sleep well, got up and had a fight with my neighbor and come in here and am still stewing about the neighbor. The first thread I open doesn't please me. Or the second or the third. By the fourth thread I am ready to let someone have it. So I let out on the first person I don't agree with. They react in shock and the two of us go at it with many others piling in to have their say thinking this is a good place to unload all their frustrations.

One more example: I just had a huge fight with my still-a-JW relative or maybe I just clammed up and said nothing because I knew it could turn into a big fight which I don't want. So I come in here and find the first person that I don't like and let them have it.

I know you don't "fight" that much for real.

Lady Lee

well to be honest Scully the first one did happen to me. And it was Simon that said something to me that hurt so much. But I had to examine what he said and whether it was true or not. In that case it was an isolated incident that turned out to be true.

The second one has also happened to me. But we talked in PMs and we both decided to hash it out in the thread so people could see it in action and how 2 people could agree to disagree. Yea I know weird that we wanted people to watch this and it turned out well because we were both willing to really listen to what the other one was saying.

Te 3rd example - well no that isn't me but I've seen it acted out many times

Markfromcali

Of course there is the possibility of communicating something impersonal, but then those "just the facts" posts probably don't get as much activity because the drama isn't there.

cyberjesus

But disagreeing is what makes this a discussion forum. It would be boring if we all agree with each other and pad each other in the back. learning from different points of view is what makes us test our own beliefs. I am glad I came to the board and heard people who thought differently than I. It made me think.

I rather have a conversation with someone who disagrees with me because that represents challenge. Disagreement means we perceive the things different and I am curious as to why they perceive it different.

I think that an argumenatation thread would be good. That would make the discussions more fair and interesting and civil.

cult classic

But disagreeing is what makes this a discussion forum.

Exactly. And just because someone refuses to come around to another poster's way of thinking doesn't mean they are bashing or disrespecting them. A poster may be relentless in their presentation of a particular issue. That's cool with me. But every other poster should have the right to be just as relentless in their agreement/disagreement also... No?

We all pretty much agree on issues that cause direct harm. The rest is just fluff we talk about to pass the time. Some take it more seriously than others is all.

cantleave

Cyberjesus - I would find it a pleasure to disagree with you.

I quit!

Darn I was hoping to read a list something like this:

poster xyzzz: butthead extraodinaire

Poster xyzzz2: don't leave sharp objects out when you are around them

Poster xyzzz3: does Chuck Manson have internet accesss?

Markfromcali

Why does it have to be framed in terms of agreement or disagreement though? Obviously there are going to be both depending on what is presented and to who, but it is completely different to frame it in terms of the non-psychological content so that it's actually productive and interesting, rather than kind of an extended tug of war based on liking or not liking someones views and by extension, our projection of them. Very often there is not actually any new points on the controversial issues, so much so that from the perspective of learning something new (objectively) there is absolutely no point. As far as learning something about yourself psychologically, it also seems questionable whether that is the best context given that people will have a tendency to be defensive and all of that, but I do understand there is that opportunity if someone should decide to look at it that way.

Regardless of which kind of learning, once again it is possible to have a third position of not holding an opinion one way or the other. Of course when it comes to psychological/social stuff it may not be a comfortable place not knowing about yourself and how to relate, but if that is in fact the case it's only honest. We can simply suspend judgment and become aware of new information and perspectives for further consideration.

Lady Lee

I don't see anyone here saying we all need to agree - gawd we just got away from that.

We need to learn to agree to disagree - to talk about all kinds of things without name-calling. without demanding proofs for which we all know there is none, without putting down the other person's belief as if ours is better.

cantleave

Surely we can put down debator?

My perception of posters

Share this