yeah take your time am doing the same is not as easy am tryng to fade and there is alot of steps you got take but there nice ppl in this site that will help you yknot is a great help... yeah take it slow,,, last night my wife was telling me her doubts she dont know am on this site but i have tell some facts and is like opening her eye to the lies they been feeding us...
Can Ministerial Servants Fade?
by ihadnoidea 35 Replies latest jw experiences
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TheListener
The advice you received is excellent. You have to do this in steps. First, it's lose the MS privileges; then it's fade altogether.
Before you tell them you want to stop being an MS you have to miss some assignments, be sorry, very sorry and turn down some privileges. Let some know how stressed or sick or whatever you choose as your problem of choice you are.
Once you ask to step aside you will be sat down and they will discuss why you need to step aside as an MS. Give the reasons you've read here - they work. Don't confess to anything. If they ask direct questions about your situation make sure you convince them that you still want to be an MS but you just can't right now - you will again in the future once your situation changes for the better.
They will most likely keep you on the MS list for several months with lightened or no duties. At that time they will want to reassess with you whether your situation has improved and you can continue on. This is the hardest part. You have to convince them that it's best for you to officially stop being an MS and that you hope to be reappointed sometime in the future.
Once both those parts are done you can slooooooowly ease up on non-MS responsibilities - like offering prayers, public reading (do they read at the new bookstudy?), etc.
Then ease up on meeting attendance - which you've probably already started 'cause that is the easiest thing to do in this whole mess.
With a zealous family they may call you out. Be prepared to stick to your stress, sickness or whatever guns you chose. Don't falter.
And remember, you have friends here who can sympathize, empathize and commiserate.
Successful fading can take a long time.
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MMXIV
ihadnoidea, if you follow WTWizard's advice it wouldn't matter if your family was the GB itself you'd be deleted so spectacularly they'd invest a new announcement just for you "You're fired"
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Inside Man
LOL @ MMxIV & WTWizards
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Inside Man
The sad thing about this religion is you can't quit or step aside from your privileges at all with any dignity. They always gotta make it difficult for you. There is no easy way out without causing a scene. You can quit but they will always try to fire you so they can scare the other brothers from doing the same.
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snakeface
Back in 2003 or so I needed to take a temporary break from being a MS. I had too much going on with work, my aged parents' illnesses, and so on. After discussing this with the elders, we agreed that for a few months I would not be given any assignments. It was as if I was a publisher but I was kept on the "list" of MS, apparently because I still retained the "spiritual qualifications". No announcement was made to the congregation. After a few months I met with the elders and said I was ready to take on assignements again. However I did have the option at that time to say that my circumstances had not improved and were still keeping me from taking on assignments, in which case I would then have stepped down. During this time I was still regular in FS, mtg attendance and participation.
I don't know if this option is available today or not, but you could ask your elders about it.
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ihadnoidea
Well without giving too much details, my wife does sort of know I have "some" doubts. We actually had a somewhat open discussion about it at one time, but we have never talked about it again since then. I think at this point she thinks these doubts are nothing more then any believer gets from time to time. Hopefully that discussion we had does not come back to bite me.
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ihadnoidea
@Inside Man - That is so true.
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looloo
you have a pm
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Witness My Fury
If you want the quiet fade from MS then move to a nearby cong. ....unless your record is positively glowing then they will likely wait a period of time to see how you do before deciding to let you be MS there.
If thats the case then just dont do so well on meeting attenence, ministry etc. Job done. you are not an MS anymore and no nasty announcment to that effect either.
If you cant change cong, then you have to go the deletion route, as you cant step down quietly. It doent matter how slow or fast you do this the end result is the same... deletion with an announcement.
Welcome to the Faders Club
Cheers