All My JW Ladies Who Had A Ring On It

by sd-7 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  sd-7

  I was reminded of something I wanted to post here for awhile. Wondering your thoughts.

  My JW cousin, who is now an elder's wife and mother of three, once said this years ago. She was at a gathering with other JW wives, and one of them said to her, early in her marriage: "Don't be surprised the first time your husband tells you to shut up."

  Even then, I couldn't help thinking, "Hmm. Isn't that wrong? What kind of abuse are these wives taking at home, that they never talk about except amongst themselves?" I found it to be kind of sad that any woman would think that that's normal or acceptable. (It goes without saying that quite a few women, JW or not, wouldn't tolerate that kind of crap, and more power to them.)

  I think the fact that this was discussed said to me that these women were being conditioned to accept abusive behavior as a normal part of marriage. Would I be correct in saying that? (Obviously, Jamie, I would be, but I'm playing it naive here.)

  I guess I'm an idealist about love and marriage, even though those things can really suck at times. I figured that the woman I marry (well, it's "married" now, of course, 1st anniversary coming up next month) deserves better than that. She deserves to be heard and respected--I thought that was what the textbook, the Bible, tells men to do--not be bitterly angry with them, to love them as one's own body. (Col. 3:19; Eph. 5:28, 33) Of course, I think I noticed a huge gap between textbook and real life, hence why I walked away. Okay, so I was kicked out, but by choice. Okay, never mind.

  Comments?

  -sd-7/Christopher
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  BurnTheShips

  Rule of thumb!

  BTS--runs and hides.
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  serenitynow!

  "Don't be surprised the first time your husband tells you to shut up."

  That is pitiful. I don't know what's wrong with her. Where I was raised, you didn't tell anyone to shut up, not parents to kids, and your parent better not overhear you saying it to another kid.

  This is why I could not get a JW husband, because that would be totally unacceptable.
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  Magwitch

  I was raised to believe that saying Shut-up was the same as saying Fuck-you. We were never allowed to say those words. My children were never allowed to say those words and if a man ever said those words to me I would be history!!!!
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  sherah

  Where I was raised, you didn't tell anyone to shut up, not parents to kids, and your parent better not overhear you saying it to another kid.

  This was a big no-no in my household growing up. The closest my siblings and I would come to saying it would be telling each other to be quiet. And even then, we were saying it out of earshot of my parents.

  I would NOT tolerate it from my mate!
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  sir82

  There's been a couple of WT study articles directed toward husbands this year, how they should be "kind and loving toward their wives" even at home, where no one else can see.

  Pretty sad that (1) the problem is big enough amongst JWs that it requires multiple WT articles, and (2) even more sad that JW husbands wouldn't do it unless "mother" told them they should.
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  serenitynow!

  Rule of thumb!

  BTS--runs and hides.

  LOL, BTS. Don't be surprised if you end up getting hit with a cast iron skillet, or get all your possessions destroyed "Waiting to Exhale" style.
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  serenitynow!

  Sherah, we had to tell each other to "be quiet" too!
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  sd-7

  Don't be surprised if you end up getting hit with a cast iron skillet, or get all your possessions destroyed "Waiting to Exhale" style.

  I was always scared that'd happen to me just due to being an apostate! Which would doubly suck because (1) I have cool stuff that would be far more useful in good condition than in destroyed condition, (2) I pay all the rent and (3) I'm the only one on the lease anyway. Never did want to see that movie, though. I'm kind of phobic of movies where men do awful things to women. Especially black men. They make me feel ashamed for anything I ever did wrong in my very brief history of relationships.

  But at least I'm comforted to hear that this behavior was not normal or acceptable in JW households somewhere. I wish I'd chosen a better title for the thread though. Was thinking of that oft-played Beyonce song. (sigh)

  -sd-7
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  CuriousButterfly

  If I was told to shut up he better sleep with one eye open. I know my husband would never and he knows that man would have no penis if he ever dared to raise a hand to me.