OK based on jaime's post above I will tell BUT this requires a warning for people who have been sexually abused
Some of you know that my JW husband (now ex-husband) sexually abused me in out 15 yr marriage. As a victim of child sexual abuse taking more of sex on demand was more than I could take. Having him gone all the time either at work or on service or preparing for meetings or doing shepherding calls or attending elder's meetings I was pretty much left alone to raise our 2 daughters. He would come in at night and want sex. I had barely said 3 words to him all day and I was supposed to fall into his arms for sex.
I don't think so. But as a submissive wife you have an OBLIGATION to provide the marital due. There were hundreds of times I did it to keep the peace. Not that he would beat me or anything. He never hit me. But he would lay on the guilt and make my life miserable until he got his sex.
For Me things kept getting worse. It was harder and harder to see how being abused as a child was any different than having an obligation to provide sex in my marriage. He made it a continual point to say that if he committed adultery because I would not render the due then I was blood guilty for his sin.
It got to a point in the marriage where he wanted oral and anal sex. I wasn't into it at all. I had enough of that as a kid and I had the WTS saying that it was an unclean practice and married JWs should not do it. So I figured I was safe.
WRONG. He said he was the head of the house and I was supposed to be in subjection and I had an obligation. These fights were endless. Eventually I would just cave in and give him regular sex. But that never stopped him from trying to get some anal sex sex. We talked about going to the elders but he was an elder and didn't want them to know. So he wrote the society who sent back (through the congregation so the elders found out) a standard letter saying missionary sex only. So I figured I was safe
WRONG He still kept begging and pleading and trying. Near the end of the marriage he tried one more time for anal sex and I threw him off me. He landed on the floor beside the bed and I looked at him in the eye and said if her ever tried that again he would wind up outside the window behind him.
I have no idea where I got the courage for that from. It just came out of me. We were both stunned but I wasn't backing down. We separated shortly after that. And during that time he was living somewhere else and still thought he could come over for a conjugal visit.
He thought that since I was supposed to be in submission and had an obligation to put out so he wouldn't sin that he could just waltz over for sex whenever he wanted. And people wonder why I committed adultery to get rid of him!
Female submission to an uncaring, unloving and mostly absent JW husband is a nightmare. At least it was for me.
And the longer I am here the more I discover I was not alone.
My heart goes out to those of you who have had to live this particular nightmare
...OUTLAW
