First official shunning was AWESOME

SweetBabyCheezits

We went to Target this weekend to look at Halloween costumes for the kiddos (and maybe me - i'm still a kid at heart). My daughter and I were walking down a main aisle when an ex-friend - the very one who testified that I refused to discuss my doubts - came out of a side aisle and almost turned our direction.

We made eye contact and I gave him a nod as we continued to walk toward him.... but he stopped like he'd run into a brick wall, then turned and started walking with his back to us so that we didn't cross paths.

My daughter pipes up and says, "Hey, Daddy, isn't that [EDIT]??"

"Yes it is, dear."

"Aren't you going to say something to him?"

"Well remember the elders decided that me and Mommy should be disfellowshipped since we don't believe like they believe. That means our old friends decided they can't be our friends anymore, either."

I said this with a little extra volume so he could hear me.

We've been explaining all of this to our daughter for the last 8 weeks but she was picturing how specific family members would treat us and had yet to visualize how that would work with old friends. She was a little disappointed but quickly forgot when we reached the Halloween section and I told her to pick out her costume.

A little background info: He's a good guy, aside from his religious delusion. He's a single twenty-something and acts like a college kid, binge drinking, among other things, minus the sex and weed (and I'm giving him the BoaD on that last part). If there's a loophole or it's not exactly a DFing offense, he's probably doing it. But please understand I'm not judging him for doing this stuff.... I'm judging him for shunning me when he's aware of his own "JW-sins" plus the BS that took place in that JC hearing.

Later that eve, after a couple of drinks, I sent him a text: "Good job being loyal to god today!"

Again, I am (we are) still learning how to not give a shit what the uninformed sheeples think but it's coming to us easier than I expected. My wife is now all for Halloween after being unsure just a few weeks ago. I think she recognizes that people are judging us regardless of whether we celebrate holidays or not. Might as well let the kids have fun.

Anyway, one week down and we are making a relatively smooth transition into our new life.

Snoozy

Shunning is one of the JW's cruel acts of so called loving punishment for all those that are no longer believers in their balogney. But as far as a child goes, I think I would have just said "He probably didn't recognise us honey."..I don't think I would expose a child to their hateful ways. Let her learn when she is older and can understand without thinking she did something bad to be avoided..she just may pick it up that way you know?

Just a thought..

Snoozy.

laverite

Tim,

The ridiculousness of the whole situation is beyond belief. It boggles the mind! Thanks for sharing the experience. Wish we had some of on camera to post on youtube!

For Halloween, if you take the kids trick or treating, you might want to get a couple of replacement bags filled with candy you've bought at the store. After trick or treating, just bring the bags of candy they collected into the kitchen, and hide in a cupboard. Pull out the bags you already prepared for them and simply replace. If they are young enough and you can be slick about it, they'll never know.

Then, take the candy from trick or treating into work and share!

This is what I do. :)

-LV

Nathan Natas

Are they sheeple, or are they sheepholes?

Only their hardresser knows for sure.

oldlightnewshite

Tim,

You should totally get dressed up with a Leatherface or Jason mask, and take your wife and kid trick or treating to all your ex-jw friends houses just to piss them off. Make sure all your faces are covered. See if anybody opens the door to 'Witness' to you. If they give you the courtesy of opening the door and giving you the spiel, just whip off your mask and say, 'okay, I understand. See you around'. That will totally eff them off.

BabaYaga

"Well remember the elders decided that me and Mommy should be disfellowshipped since we don't believe like they believe. That means our old friends decided they can't be our friends anymore, either."

I said this with a little extra volume so he could hear me.

Excellently played. Nice text, too.

Ding dang it, Baby Cheezits, whenever I see you post, I want a tangy, cheesy, cracker snack something awful.

Evidently Apostate

they have lost any authority over you and your family. my family is starting down the same path just at the beginning of our freedom, i cant wait to go costume shopping for halloween with the kids some day. congrats

zeroday*

I remember the first time I got shunned in public it was in a grocery store simular to your experience. Turned a corner and saw an old "friend" of 25 years. Not thinking I smiled and said "hi" she turned up her nose and huffed off. Then I remember the first time I shunned a JW in public. Was walking into a hardware store heard my name called out turned to see an elder I knew smiling waving and coming towards me. I looked at him and turned and walked into the store...

blondie

I've been out for 10 years now, inactive. I have had some be cool who were unsure of our status but warmed up when they realized we are "only" inactive.

The most outstanding case of shunning in my life was when I was still a "good" jw, believing and zealous. Evidently some sister decided I was unworthy of talking to me and avoided talking to me at every occasion, including meetings. The school overseer assigned her as my householder and she would not take my calls and skipped the meeting. She was busy telling everyone in the congregation they also should shun me (elder's wife so her opinion held more weight). Eventually I did do the Matthew 18 procedure, took 2 friends with me and asked her point blank what I had done to offend her. "You're too perfect. You're taking my friends away." Well, the 3 of us realized that her mental health was flawed.

Now that was a shunning.

Think About It

Seems like you are in good spirits about it. I would hope that anyone who has seen the truth about the truth would not be ashamed of being shunned. You should do Halloween with your daughter. It can be part of the liberating experience. Last year I started dressing up and scaring the kids as they walk down the walk for candy.

Think About It

First official shunning was AWESOME

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