| Hi everyone, I am just new to this site and thanks for a very dear friend that has encouraged me to post my story and would love to hear feedback from all you out there xx This is MY STORY We were introduced to the religion in 1982, not soon after we were unbaptized publishers (a bit to soon for me even at that age) I really didnt miss the celebrations as much as were werent that well off and my parents worked 6 days a week to pay the bills. My parents were baptized within 6 months and everything seemed fine. We them moved to another congregation (1 hour away from grand parents and cousins and aunts.) We moved to a new school and there were a few witness kids at the same school, we became good friends with this single mum of 6 kids, they used to come over all the time and play with us, they had this cute little girl at the time she was about 4 or so that latter became to be 6 or 7 and went into prep at the same school. At that time I think I was in grade 5 or 6. And thats when all my troubles started.... One night we get a phone call from the elders asking to speak to my dad and then arranging a time to come and see and speak with my mum and dad. They arrive at our house they are in the kitchen and us kids are in our rooms doing our homework. I get called in and mum is crying her head off, her head is down and I hear her sobbing, I walk in wondering whats happening and I start getting real concerned. They the elders start taling to me saying that this family have spoken to the elders about something I have done... I started thinking OMG my mum and dad know i rolled up some craft paper and smoked some hay behind the shed at home and now Im in big big trouble. But still I thought that if I act dumb they will believe that Im saying the truth. Little did I know that it was going to be much worse than that, they said that I was accused MOLESTING A CHILD, my reation was whats that as I had never heard of that word before as it happened 25 years ago and Im sure those words were not well know as much as they are now. Then the elder continued saying that I touched the little girl (family friend) that I had my hands in her undies I touched her when she was telling me not to... I had elders at my door nearly every night, accusing me and the thing was i didnt even understand what they were accusing me of not even knowing what the word "MOLESTERED" meant. At that age I only knew that I wanted to ease the pain and I tried killing myself by swallowing panadole tablets, but of couse my mum who was the only one that believed me caught me and stopped me from wrecking what was left of my life... It took my dad months to confront the child and he said that if she was lying that only one person would know and that god would punish her is she lied. She then told my dad that she was told to say that because her brother had a run in my with dad and he wanted to get him back!!!! My dad was told off by the elders for confronting her without permission from the parents or elders. A few days latter the mum came up to me and sincerly appologied!! Damage was done and it nothing could ever take away what I went thru, sadly I did accept the appology from the mum. Till today the elders have not appologized for the way they treated me. I even found it hard going to the meeting knowing everyone knew about me and when I got married and moved on to another cong i still felt that people were treating me funny, as to know from this sight that it never leaves you, your life is ruined for the rest of your life. At times I thought maybe I did do something and I thought it was right but that was the elders brainwashing me to believe that I did wrong. I loved kids when I was young that as soon as a baby was born I was one of these kids that hanged off the mother and father. I even had elderly people telling me to stop playing with the kids not knowing what they meant but now thinking back everyone must of known what I was accoused of. I have 3 kids now but I found it so hard even just changing my daughters nappy or even playing with them after bath time as you parents would have done with your kids. I can only say that I really felt for that child to have to go thru what her brother put her up to, but It has scared me for life. Again if my child accused anyone I would be at the authorites right away, they are the only people that can help. Church people are not experts and they are only out to protect their religions name. I kept this to myself and delt with it by myself not even my father knew what I was going thru. When ever I did mention it wich was hardly I would cry. I then came in contact with a friend who is very close to me who happens to be a phycologist after having a few private sessions with her and more crying now I can talk about it without having to cry or have a crackle in my voice. It might have taken my 25 years but they were hell to deal with and hope I can move on from now on. I even tied pioneering for some time but never was paised as they usually praise pioneers now looking back I know why. I have left the religion with my husband and kids and its been the smartest thing I ever did, but I must say that if I was the mother of that girl I would have gone to the authorites even if it were true or not. Hope to hear from you lovely people with some support from you. Agent86 xx |
My experiences that have turned me away.....
by agent86 25 Replies latest jw experiences
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agent86
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3Mozzies
Welcome to the forum Agent86
Your story upset me, it was shocking! What a bunch of assholes for making you go through that. Typical JWs Elders. It would of really messed your mind as a young child and then into adulthood.
I am so glad you are out of that poisonous religion and you have received help.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, you don't know how much each of us here are helped by hearing all angles of this cult.
I wish you well and really look forward to your future posts.
3Mozzies
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boyzone
I'm so sorry you went thru this awful ordeal. Its ridiculous how much damage untrained and insensitive elders can do to a young mind! Couldn't they see you hadn't a clue what molesting even was about??
I've got 4 kids and its obvious when I'm talking "over their heads". Elders are real dumbasses sometimes.
Take courage my friend. You are a great father and a good man. Know this and relax and enjoy your kids.
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Hadit
Welcome Agent86! Thank you for sharing your story - that must have been hard! You went through a very traumatizing event - I'm so sorry for all the pain it caused back then and throughout your life. I'm so glad to hear that your friend has been able to help you deal with it. This religion is so messed up! Apologies from elders are hard to come by - that would be admitting they made a mistake. They have no right dealing with things they know nothing about. How scary it must have been as a child being interrogated and accused of such things. Awful. What happened in your case with the two witness rule?? I guess that only works when they want it to. It protects the real pedophiles.
I'm happy to hear that you and your family got out together!
I wish you guys all the best!
Hadit
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oldlightnewshite
Hi Agent86,
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm not at all surprised by how you've been treated by the congregation and the elders. Just put away the guilt they've loaded onto you all your life, and be happy that you're now free. The experience might have made you feel like you need to distance yourself from your kids, or put up a barrier. Don't give in to this! They've constantly harrassed you, you've done nothing wrong! Take back your life!
The Elders are nothing more than jumped-up little Napoleons who relish their own self-importance and power.
Wishing you a happy family life!
^Don't think Boyzone realized you're a chick!
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Curtains
how stupid the elders are. Even if this had happened you were both children. Children explore everything. To go around accusing people of sexual activity as if it was adult on child sexual activity is very stupid.
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agent86
Thanks guys, it was great to hear from you all, PS I am a chick hehehehehe I had to laugh at that one.
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MMXIV
Welcome agent86.
That is a horrifying story. I'm not surprised by how this has affected you, although I have never heard of anything quite like it. It sounds quite surreal - almost a piece of fiction except that you had to live through this.
I find it interesting that even when the truth was found out (good on your dad for finally extracting it) that it was little consolation and nothing was done to ensure you were treated properly from then on.
Growing up in the truth is not growing up in a progressive environment full of forgiveness. What you have described and was my experience too was a place where judgement and punishment existed and your whole life's transgressions (or percieved transgressions) were held against you.
This is why elders, who are untrained in specialist social work, shouldn't be expected to do the job of the police, social services or therapists. It is the fault of the WTS who even now equips them with the KS10 - a simple book of judging and expects them to do something they cannot do. The policies were and are still wrong. It is the fault of the elders who know when they are out of their depth and do not let professionals deal with it. It is the fault of people at the KH who judge others and do not show love. This was not your fault. You did nothing wrong.
I'm glad that you are now protecting your children from this environment, they will never know how lucky they are. That is a truly important and great thing that has come out of all this badness.
I also read this as if you were a boy until you mentioned your husband - I presume because you called her a cute girl and the subject matter I would normally associate with a boy - good twist if ever you thought about taking up fiction.
mmxiv
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WTWizard
I wonder if the hounders did more damage than an actual "molestation" would have. At that age, children are going to play, and it is easy for a small child to inadvertently touch something (or even play around with it) that belongs to someone else. It is also possible for people to be playing around like this when they are around 11 or 12, which happens to be around the 6th or 7th grade.
In this case, no one was coerced by the original "offense", and it should have been dismissed as childish play (though counsel would have been in order about this, because if not corrected, it becomes more serious). But, the hounders should never be allowed to handle it, since they can do more damage than the original act could have. The police are in a better position to determine whether something happened or not, and if so, what. And I don't mean the smoking of weed, either.
Which drives home the damage that "child molesting" laws do, as written today. Really, more emphasis should be placed on whether the person doing the molesting forced, coerced, or otherwise misled the child into consent and not in the age difference. The law today makes it too easy for children to become cut off from the adult world, because even the smallest touch could be interpreted as "molesting" the child. Also, some states and countries still have outdated laws where there has to be some age where, even if both parties are under, both are guilty of a major crime.
Yes, the witlesses that do molest children can still be busted. Because, most of the time, they are doing it by coercing the child into consent. Usually their lives are supposedly at stake, and they will consent just to get the hounders off their backs. And, the ones that really do molest children because they get their kicks out of ruining their lives should be punished with extreme severity--even life in prison with no parole, or the death penalty. But, those who are "playing around", particularly other children, need to be left alone or dealt with more mildly. And at no time should the law make people afraid of adults or of normal touching--generally, those activities are not done with coercion or to ruin children's lives.
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Ding
Wow -- so glad you didn't succeed in killing yourself!
And so glad you escaped the organization so your children can lead a normal life!
Welcome to the forum.
Please keep posting.