how to tell elders we dont wana go anymore leave us alone,

by serein 44 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  serein

  stoped goin over a year ago now, been bugged ever since,iv just sent em away with im ill to tierd goin out what ever excuse i could think of to get em off my back,

  im a big wimp so is my husband, every time the elder turns up we go yer yer come next week what ever and wel sort sumat out. which we dont mean its our brain washed mind talking and its very weak,

  iv had enough of it now and need to say somthing that keeps em away and i dont want to say somat horrid to em,infact im scared of em and i go all shakey at door and weak in the mind,i need to leave a letter or sumat on door,

  what should i put in it all ideas welcome im sure il get a sensible one at some point,

  i dont want em goin and saying im an apostate to the cong or i dont want to be around em anymore cos im a demon worshiper or sumat u know what its like

  cos the real reason i dont go is cos its lie after lie and also the main one is i had blood transfusion a few years back never told em till a few months ago and i totaly disagree with it all

  id have died and left my kids if i dint have it and id had flipin twins,aswel as a house full more of em,

  now i know in there eyes im an apostate but in mine im not i still beleve in god and follow jesus path i think,

  but the cong will never know that id almost died and needed 7 pints of blood, theyd just think horrid things,

  also i told the elders id had blood and all that and they said its all ok lets forget it and start again like its ok so if its ok for me to do it and not get reproved how come they telling everyone else not to cos its all wrong and god said so!

  anyways i thought that if i told em theyd leave me alone but it made em worse and now they call on me more to go back saying every one misses me,

  which is a load of bull ....!cos no one was even my freind there i was ignored most of the time and only got spoken to to ask if id put my report in

  or the weathers nice,

  glad u made it here. then theyd walk off,

  id been going on and off for like 20 years but dint get baptised till like 6 years ago.

  anyways i used to be half ok and theyd talk to me and somtimes a sis would ask me out for a shoping spree or sumat but then..............

  i met my husband on that jwconect site and it all changed now i was a demon lover and no one talked to me any more not realy anyways i could tell the tone changed just cos id met him on internet,

  so what in my eyes he was still a wit and its up to me anyways ,

  anyways he came here uk from usa, and u know what no one spoke to him, and ever since hes been he no ones botherd non ones tryed to be freinds with him like hes a real bad man or somet and hes teh kindest man iv ever met,

  they dont even know him and never even tryed to get to know him,

  so i had enough of it all

  and thats just the start of it i could go on and on with much more dirt from em but i wont.

  so i desided no freinds in and got no freinds out so what do i have,

  it wont be much diff if i get dissfelld as no ones spoken to me anyways so its not like its gona be hard on me,

  infact since i stoped going not one sincer person from my cong not one single flipin person exept the elder who has to, has phoned or come round or anything to see how i am, why i havnt gone nothing, for all they new i could have flipin died been in hos what ever no ones even tryed to contact me not even befor i told the elder id had a blood trans so weres the love in my hall..

  if there is love im not geting any,

  infact there all to busy licking each others arses and sucking up,ow and maybe its cos i dont have a villa in spain or a flashy car, i duno i always felt i wasnt good enough not in any clicks not in anything not even invited to get togethers nothing kids never wanted to talk to my kids like they were lepers or sumat i never new why,

  o yer cos my husbands a demon from a web site i forgot,

  and i dont have ££££££££$$$$$$$$$$in bank,

  maybe im wrong but all i got from sis when i was around em was iv got this im doing that im geting this we been there we going there,

  what ever knowing absolutly that i couldnt be same as them as i wasnt well off and my sons doing this on plat form my sons whos like 2 or sumat is doing a bible reading even thoe he dont even no what hes saying, on and on and on about how there so good and theres kids doing so well, well my sons got a degree in medical science but did any of em care no.... my sons so much flipin better cos he got out and did somat with him self,

  now i dont want to rant any more i just want some help with the geting rid of elders and leaving me alone letter.... any one with ideas pleas post
• 

  nelly136

  maybe you need to write down a list of pro's and con's then go from there.

  exactly what benefit are you getting from living on your nerves that someones going to call?

  if theyre already treating you and yours like crap then what have you got to lose from biting the bullet and telling them to naff off?

  it really could be as simple as that, but only you or hubby can do it.
• 

  serein

  prob is i cant bring myself to stand at the door and say to the elders face naf off,

  i want to say this religion is full of it and im not interested iv seen the light and im out, but cant im pathetic,

  so i want to put it in writing stick it to my door with his name on it and hope he walks away but u know what i bet any money he flipin still knocks and bugs us.
• 

  blondie

  You don't have to give an excuse; don't have a conversation.

  1) If they just drop by without making an appointment, you could just don't answer the door (my experience, they go away quickly, they're just covering their a**...Brother CO, we stopped by but no one was home, we tried)

  2) Get caller ID and screen out their calls.

  3) We just tell them we are working it out and will call them when we need the help...then hang up gently....or shut the door quietly.

  We hadn't had any calls for about 10 years and then a new CO came by and decided we needed a wake up call.

  My husband: opens the door, but never invites them in. "Hello"

  CO: "we happened to be in the neighborhood".....

  Hubbie: Did you call to see if was a convenient time for us? This is not a convenient time.

  CO: "when will it be convenient?"

  Hubbie: "we'll call you when it is."

  On the second drop in call, the elder put his foot in our door and hubbie gently pushed it back. Don't let them intimidate you, just smile be polite and brief.
• 

  serein

  its totaly imposible to ignor the door as i have a house full of kids and u can bet one of em is going to answer it, plus its not what i want to do keep ignoring door dreding them coming,

  i just want them to stop coming, the thing is when they first started to come id say il let u know when i want to talk about it and they still came anyways, dosnt matter what i say they still come like they not hearing me,

  and they keep saying same old crap"lets forget the past start again a fresh wel come pick u up for hall oe sumat wel help", (cos my hus works alot so dont alway have a ride),its driving me mad,

  if i ever want to go back il do it cos i want to not cos they talk me in to it or bug me till i do, why cant they just take no for an answer,

  if i say il let u know if i want to come back which i have theyl still come,
• 

  agent86

  Hi there serein, i feel you... ever since me and my family stopped going it took over 3 months for them to realize that we were missing, no kids running up the isles, food wrappers making noises and all.

  Once they noticed, every bloody week we would get a knock at the door, by the 10 time we decided to get an intercom and when they will ring we wouldnt answer, even tho the kids were yelling in the house, TV on and so on. A few times they caught my hubby in the garage and luckily I was wating to go shopping and run out and say im ready and they would sort of get the hint but still tied.... One time they hid from the intercom and then i would find out from my brother that they come around and they knew we were home and told him to tell us so we would be embarrased... (DH's)

  I told my family to tell them to stop coming every weekend and not to call or else I would send a letter and tell them to keep away from us. So my beautiful brother told them to keep away from us and that when we are ready we will come back. Since him telling them its been aboyt 6 months and there have been no unwanted visitors..... so that must of worked!!!!!

  You could put on your door "no preachers please"!!! Or do what I did get a family member to speak to them.

  Good luck x
• 

  bez

  youve nothing to lose. i would just tell them you are ok at mo like blondie said and leave it at that. Since all the hassle we had, we have heard nothing. few wks gone by too. so just tell them your best left.
• 

  blondie

  serein, you let your children open the door....my parents never did, too many weirdos around, we were told to get them even if it was someone we knew.......oooh, I just shiver to think of a child opening the door....I did when children answered the door when I was a jw.
• 

  serein

  i dont have any family like bros or mom or dad or anything to tell em for me,my husbands fam is over in usa, and all i have is the kids,so its me whos gota do it but the elder also is real nice and telling him to shuv off is totaly imposible for my mouth to say to his face,

  the thing is liek iv said iv told em on many ocassion when at the door that im not ready to come back bla bla and they still come like a week later and say can we call on u and hubby and get things going again tehn il say we busy bla bla and then in end cos they wont take no for answer to get rid of em il say ok next on so and so day,

  then that day comes and i have to say im ill im sorry or flipin sumat.

  the thing is im still all for some of it and not for most of it so if i disagree wi it whats the point.

  but when iv said that to em they say u need building upo to be refreshed on scriptures bla bla.

  its wearing me down cos i just want to be left alone nd decided what i want on my own terms when im ready not get pushed in to it then either get dissfelowshiped or go back either way its up to me i should deside not them.

  and even thoe i wana send a letter i think why should i play it by there terms and go by there rules sending flipin letters,

  but just talking to em at door isnt working one bit.
• 

  serein

  my kids ages are like 20 19 18 11 on they not so young only twins young,