how to tell elders we dont wana go anymore leave us alone, (page 2)

serein

plus they usualy shout as load as pos someones at door mother,or look through window so all can see and no we in,

plus my 19 year old likes the elder and wont ignor him cos even thoe he dont go he thinks i should and shouldnt be nocking em and saying bad things about em he gets real mad wi me, hes a hypocrit and answers door on purpose

EmptyInside

Just be honest with the elder. You can tell him in a nice way and tell him you appreciate his concern. But, you need some time to yourself and are not ready to talk. And that it would probably be easier if we call you when and if we are ready to talk. Thank him and tell him to have a nice day and close the door.

serein

done that dont work

EmptyInside

Actually the less you say the better. Don't feel you need to make up excuses.

EmptyInside

Well, then,just ask him to please leave you and your family alone.

serein

done that to and he said we realy need help if thats how we feel and hel come on what ever day and i said no i realy need space and time to sort my head out and he said ok wel come back in a few weeks its likem derrrrr go away..

Ding

A little tough love here.

If you've tried everything else, then at some point you need to develop the courage to look them in the eye and say "no".

Come up with a phrase like, "Thank you, but I really don't want to talk."

Whatever they say or ask, keep smiling and repeating that phrase until they go away and don't return.

If they DEMAND that you let them in and talk to them... if they threaten to DF you, smile and say, "Thank you, but I really don't want to talk."

If they say, "When would be a better time?" say, "Thank you, but I really don't want to talk."

If you won't stand up for yourself and assert your freedom as a human being, we can't do it for you.

serein

i know u cant, i just wanted the chicken way out and put something in a letter stick it on door for em or summat

serein

what gets me is how come when i was going they didnt wana no me cos id met my dh on web site, and they dint notice i was missing for several months then its now constant bug and we all love u and miss u and come back wel help u alls forgoten and we care and dont matter u had blood u ok now its past,

i no 4 a fact if i go back itl be same in a few weeks back to same old story i dont want it anymore,

im just gona have to send a letter saying i dont wana assosiate wi them any more even thoe i dont want to say that cos why should i, just to stop em coming,

why cant they leave me alone untill i decided what i want and not what they want. ok not much help im stil at same posistion no beter off in desiding what to say supose il have to move cos telling u this bro is like brain damaged or sumat cos hes so persistent and wont take no for an answer, and im telling u i bet if he came door now and i said look im on this site and many other and im a demon worshiper and i hate god what ever the worst i bet hed say u poor thing u need our help wel come round tomoz

how to tell elders we dont wana go anymore leave us alone,

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