Suicide - My column on Freeminds

by Lady Lee 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  breathing

  i think its realistic to have suicide as an option and to bring it into the arena of choices when one is in a very pressured situation, it kind of alleviates pain knowing that choice is always there if you want it, and to somehow say i can do that tomorrow if i want to,

  but its good to get to a place where that option doesnt have to come into the arena anymore!

  moving to hear you experience,

  i still struggle and i had an experience yesterday where someone showed me an act of kindness that helped me out of a hole,

  after the experiences of inhumanity and cruelty in the jws, its a real tonic and a learning of a new reality to experince friendship that is without all that judgement, and to realise there are friends who will accept you for who are, not whether you obey some rules or not, and so you can relax and be true to yourself, and embrace difference,

  good thread lady lee
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  Lady Lee

  I was always shocked by the kindness of strangers. So far superior to the "love of the brothers" They warned us constantly of the terribly people outside the organization. But what I found and still find is that good people are everywhere. And they aren't good to you so you will join their religion or because they think they will get something out of it. They just help because they want to.

  They just saw a need and did something about it

  The WTS and JWs need to take a lesson
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  breathing

  god youre right, they dont do it for any reason like the jws do!

  and they dont make friends cos they have to either,

  i have friends that say to me " im friends with you cos i like you i dont have to be your friend"

  and i find that sooooo new and weird, cos i was used to doing everything espec regarding people, cos i HAD to, I HAD to be a good christian i HAD to invite, playwith, go out with, this person that person SOOOOO NOT GENUINE! and yet they are the ones making all the claims about being good and kind etc, but its not genuine!

  people seem to do nice things cos they want to out in this real life, not cos of the prize of Everlasting Life!!
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  Lady Lee

  " im friends with you cos i like you i dont have to be your friend"

  Well according to the WTS even JWs are merely tolerated because they provide a service to the GB. We were all expendable because we were replaceable. Even GB members were replaceable. And they made sure they knew our place. There was no guarantee we would make it through. We had to work like slaves for those who were supposed to be our slaves. I guess they just totally missed the lesson where Jesus washed the fert of his disciples. But hten they missed most of Christ's lessons because they were so focused on the old scriptures

  There really isn't much that is Christian about them is there?
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  Heaven

  There really isn't much that is Christian about them is there?

  Lady Lee... no there isn't. This is why I call them 'Jehovans'.

  I think anyone in a position of abuse and entrapment feels that suicide may be an option. Many feel it is their only option. This is why it is so important what you and the rest of us do here online. If we can help just one person see that there are other alternatives, then maybe we can help someone get the real help they need and help them have a better life.
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  Lady Lee

  Yup just pick yourself up and walk out the door.

  I left my second husband that way. Didn't know where I was going. Where I was going to live. Nothing Just got my stuff and left and I wa sin a wheelchair at the time. But after leaving the first one and knowing where I would go leaving the second not knowing was possible. I hadn't waited until I was thinking about suicide. I could see it coming and go tout while I could.

  Yes it might be hard bur it is still dooable. People leave abusive intolerable situations all the time. And there is so much halp out there now. You don't have to do it alone anymore.
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  dssynergy

  I actually think about suicide a lot. I know I'd be dead, and I think it would be a lot easier. I'm not in that much pain - I'm just tired.

  I've thought this way on and off since I was 16 (about 23 years) - so I figure it is just a matter of bad brain chemistry. I always talk myself out of it, although I think that is getting harder to do since it seems like it always comes back to the same thing.

  So, I don't think it is about getting rid of the pain, I think it is about exhaustion and relief.
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  Lady Lee

  dssynergy

  Please talk to your doctor about this. There might be a simple explanation like a physical/chemical imbalance that can be dealt with. And if it is something physical or chemical there might be a wide rage of possibilities that can be tried. Sometimes one doesn't work so you try another until you find one that does.

  There is no reason you have to continue to feel this way. If it is medical get help. If it is your life situation then find ways to change it.

  I don't ever want to live in a situation where I feel like that again. I now suffer from chronic pain and take medication for it. Without the meds I am in so much pain I can barely breathe. So I take my meds because my quality of life is important to me and after all those years of emotional pain and suffering I think I deserve some peace. If medication gives me that then hand over the meds. I don't like taking meds but I do because the alternative is not how I want to live and I DO want to live
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  dssynergy

  Thanks, I've talked to a doctor, and they recommended marijuana - so I'm trying that. I was really suicidal last monday, and on Tuesday I started on the marijuana and it calmed my brain right down. So I think it might work. I'll let you know as time goes on how I feel.

  I appreciate your concern. :-)
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  Hadit

  Dssynergy: I'm sorry you have been feeling that way for so many years. That's a lot to deal with. I hope that the marijuana helps and settles things down for you.

  Sending you hugs!

  Hadit