...and not saying that I HAVE TO get baptized as a Jehovah's Witness. I was an unbaptized publisher, but I had to step down because of some confessions I made to the elders about two years ago. (Yes, sexual confessions, I told them that I wasnt a virgin). I studied with a sister, but she stopped our study, citing a scripture, saying
that I was still drinking baby's milk, and that it was time for me to start eating meat. (oh, by the way, it took everything in me not to bust out laughing).
I asked my mom how would she feel if I got baptized as a methodist or a baptist, at a chruch, etc? She said she wouldnt come to my baptism because those are false religions.
I want to get baptized, (I believe in Jesus's purpose for us) but I'm kinda hung up on the fact of WHAT COMES AFTER THAT. And I dont want to be fake, phoney, etc. I hate the idea of handing out watchtowers or awakes, I think its all about $money$, and its following what the WTBTS interruptions of the bible is, etc, so basically its all about them and their control. Although the scriptures do talk about a faithful and discreet slave/faithful and wise servant, I dont think the faithful and discreet slave (the GB) is suppose to be a multi-billion dollar corporation..
I do feel like its the right thing to get baptized, etc. (I'm 27 years old by the way. not married, no children, african-american female). And I'm starting to get funny vibes from people (especially elders) at the hall. But everyone else is so wonderful and they really believe (well most of them) thats its 'the truth.' <---(I can't stand typing that, as if everyone else is false). Its harder and harder for me to go to the meetings, knowing everything that I know. Like I said in a previous post, I feel like Judas Iscariot. I know all about the child abuse cover-ups, the U.N. Scandals, abuse of tax laws, the invisible (yet visible) clergy class, 1975, the secrets about the Governing Body, Ray Franz, finding out that the WTBTS makes $951 million dollars a year TAX FREE!!! etc. I'm doing my research, in the dawn of my research, and finding out so more, especially from visiting websites like that, etc.
My kingdom hall is right down the street from my house, five mintues away (literally). Thats why I feel so gulity. My parents go to the kingdom hall across the way from my hall. And my other two brothers have left the hall. They no longer attend meetings. But they still believe in it.
What would you guys do in my situation? I like this lutheran chruch down the street from my house. I wouldnt mind atteded services sometimes. I've been to a penecostal chruch, very intresting watching people talk in tongues. I've been to a baptist chruch too. I thought Jehovah was gonna strike me down, but nothing has happened yet.