Dealing with Shunners

by Hairy Harr 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Nowfree

  I get tired of the JWs piously ignoring me.

  I am not DA or Df, but stopped attending meetings over a year ago. At that point a JW couple (wife is a nursing assistant - you'll see the point of that later on!) I got on really well with refused to see me in my house because I no longer attended meetings. I hadn't heard from them since.

  Well last week, my little girl was in hospital. The sister casually strolled on to the ward and asked how my daughter was. The conversation went, EXACTLY, like this:

  Sister: I heard * was in Hospital. How is she?
  Me: You deigned to come and see me then?
  Sister: How is *?
  Me: You deigned to come and see me then? Even though you wouldn't see me in my own house?
  Sister: We did explain to you why we couldn't see you.
  Me: Goodbye.

  At which point the sister, totally wrongfooted, didn't know what to do, just turned and went.

  I REALLY enjoyed that conversation. I was the one in control. I was not going to be taken for a fool, and act as if I was grateful that she had actually condescended to talk to me!

  This shunning thing can work both ways.

  Nowfree
• 

  SUSCARRA

  I DO AS THE SOIETY ALWAYS SUGGEST 'ALWAYS USE THE 'YES' FACE'. IT HAS ALWAYS COME NATURALLY WITH ME. HOWEVER, IT HAS ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME WHEN AT THE DOOR OR WHENEVER I WAS WITNESSING. APROX. 8 MONTHS AFTER MY DFING I SAW ONE OF THE ELDERS WHO DFD ME IN THE LOCAL LIQUOIR STORE. I WAS ONLY 2 OR 3 FEET FROM HIM, LOOKED AT HIM WITH MY GREAT BIG PEARLY WHITES AND JUST SHOOK MY HEAD. HE LOOKED AT ME AS IF HE SAW A SEMI GETTING READY TO RUN HIM DOWN. I COULDN'T CONTROL MYSELF, I STARTED LAUGHING AND COULDN'T STOP. MY HUSBAND SAW HIM FIRST, BUT WAS IN ANOTHER ROW AND WAS SO CONCERNED FOR ME BECAUSE HE DID NOT KNOW HOW THIS MAN WOULD TREAT ME. MY HUSBAND SAW THE LITTLE MAN'S FACE AS HE WAS LEAVING WHERE I WAS. THE LITTLE MAN'S FACE WAS COMLPTETELY WHITE (SO WHITE HE LOOKED LIKE HE NEEDED A BLOOD TRANSFUSION) AND HE HAD THAT LOOK LIKE I JUST CRAPED IN MY PANTS. IT'S THERAPY LIKE THIS THAT REALLY WORKS.

  THE NEXT DAY MY HUSBAND AND MY DAUGHTER (13)WERE IN THE MALL AND GUESS WHO WAS THERE? YOU GOT IT. IT WAS THIS SAME LITTLE ELDER. THEY SAW EACH OTHER ABOUT THE SAME TIME. THE LITTLE ELDER DID AN ABOUT FACE AND HE DID THE ELVIS THING..........HE LEFT THE BUILDING.

  FUNNY...IT'S NOT THAT HE WAS SHUNNING US...HE JUST COULDN'T HANDLE IT.
  MY MOTTO IS THIS...YOU CAN SHUN ME, BUT I WON'T SHUN YOU. HE EVEN MADE A COMMENT TO SOMEONE ABOUT SEEING US TWICE IN 2 DAYS AFTER 8 MONTHS. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN LEAVE MY HOUSE ANYMORE, I JUST CAN'T BEAR SEEING THEM ANYMORE. SEE, IF WE ALL START TREATING THEM LIKE I DO THEN MAYBE THEY'LL ALL STAY HOME! SOUNDS GOOD TO ME WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?

  SUSSCARRA
• 

  SUSCARRA

  I DO AS THE SOIETY ALWAYS SUGGEST 'ALWAYS USE THE 'YES' FACE'. IT HAS ALWAYS COME NATURALLY WITH ME. HOWEVER, IT HAS ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME WHEN AT THE DOOR OR WHENEVER I WAS WITNESSING. APROX. 8 MONTHS AFTER MY DFING I SAW ONE OF THE ELDERS WHO DFD ME IN THE LOCAL LIQUOIR STORE. I WAS ONLY 2 OR 3 FEET FROM HIM, LOOKED AT HIM WITH MY GREAT BIG PEARLY WHITES AND JUST SHOOK MY HEAD. HE LOOKED AT ME AS IF HE SAW A SEMI GETTING READY TO RUN HIM DOWN. I COULDN'T CONTROL MYSELF, I STARTED LAUGHING AND COULDN'T STOP. MY HUSBAND SAW HIM FIRST, BUT WAS IN ANOTHER ROW AND WAS SO CONCERNED FOR ME BECAUSE HE DID NOT KNOW HOW THIS MAN WOULD TREAT ME. MY HUSBAND SAW THE LITTLE MAN'S FACE AS HE WAS LEAVING WHERE I WAS. THE LITTLE MAN'S FACE WAS COMLPTETELY WHITE (SO WHITE HE LOOKED LIKE HE NEEDED A BLOOD TRANSFUSION) AND HE HAD THAT LOOK LIKE I JUST CRAPED IN MY PANTS. IT'S THERAPY LIKE THIS THAT REALLY WORKS.

  THE NEXT DAY MY HUSBAND AND MY DAUGHTER (13)WERE IN THE MALL AND GUESS WHO WAS THERE? YOU GOT IT. IT WAS THIS SAME LITTLE ELDER. THEY SAW EACH OTHER ABOUT THE SAME TIME. THE LITTLE ELDER DID AN ABOUT FACE AND HE DID THE ELVIS THING..........HE LEFT THE BUILDING.

  FUNNY...IT'S NOT THAT HE WAS SHUNNING US...HE JUST COULDN'T HANDLE IT.
  MY MOTTO IS THIS...YOU CAN SHUN ME, BUT I WON'T SHUN YOU. HE EVEN MADE A COMMENT TO SOMEONE ABOUT SEEING US TWICE IN 2 DAYS AFTER 8 MONTHS. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN LEAVE MY HOUSE ANYMORE, I JUST CAN'T BEAR SEEING THEM ANYMORE. SEE, IF WE ALL START TREATING THEM LIKE I DO THEN MAYBE THEY'LL ALL STAY HOME! SOUNDS GOOD TO ME WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?

  SUSSCARRA
• 

  sadiejive

  Just curious...but when you are a new study and the witnesses are unsure of whether or not you are "serious material", will they be friendly to you in public places or will they try to speak to you as little as possible without being completely rude?

  Is there some sort of trial period before you are considered "good association"?

  I ask this because I remember back when we first began studying with the JWs, my husband and I ran into Sister JW at Walmart. She was nice but she acted (IMO) as if didn't really want to talk to us.

  sadie
• 

  Scully

  Sadie:

  The relationships that JWs have with each other is so conditional. In order for you to be considered "a friend" to a JW, you would need to do the following:

  a) attend all the meetings
  b) be regular in field service
  c) be a baptized JW
  d) comment regularly at the Watchtower Study
  e) let them take advantage of your hospitality and generosity without complaint
  f) not expect hospitality and generosity of them in return
  g) participate in the Theocratic Ministry School
  h) items a - g applied to your spouse, in addition to being at least a ministerial servant
  i) items a - g applied to all of your children

  Sad to say, but it's true.

  Love, Scully

  It is not persecution for an informed person
  to expose a certain religion as being false. - WT 11/15/63

  A religion that teaches lies cannot be true. -WT 12/1/91
• 

  Hmmm

  It's been my experience that "interested ones/studies" get treated better than 90% of the average JW population.

  As long as you're studying, they'll love-bomb you. Once you've been dunked, and they can no longer count time speaking to you, then you're only as good as your last meeting.

  Hmmm
• 

  rhett

  I've done tech support for a few companies around town and there are almost always JW's at the companies that I work for. I'm always nice to them and try start nice conversations about things that are of no big deal to normal people but are so taboo to JW's (evolution, blood, patriotism) and then after they act really weird and pretty much run away I explain what just happened to anyone around that'll listen. That way I compromise them by making them talk to an apostate and make them seem like the big weirdos that they are while also providing a "good witness" to the people who may not know so much about JW's.
  God I love being an apostate.........

  I don't need to fight
  To prove I'm right
  I don't need to be forgiven.