Eliminating all traces of exJWs

by Scully 50 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  carla

  This attitude certainly explains what I have been questioning for years now, 'how the hell does the wt seem to suck the memory out of someone?' I have been asking other ubm's for years if they have noticed the same thing. In my case it is not photo's (it would be serious trouble in my house if he did that!) that are destroyed but his actual memories. Especially at first when he was 'studying'. He somehow forgot much of our past life and that of our kids lives. It was scary as hell for me. Now I try not to discuss past life memories with him too much as it is too painful when he forgets the life we shared. He is still attempting to erase certain aspects of his life pre-jw which I will not discuss as it would give me away, but it still continues. It's like self induced alzhiemers or something.

  ps- the above obviously does not include df'd persons but life pre-jw being evil attitude
• 

  jookbeard

  right Blondie there are countless examples of very moderate Dubs mild in thinking generous kind hearted people there are also many examples of radical,extreme Dubs who go far beyond what is even given as guidelines from the WTS how many stories have you heard of uptight Dubs walking out of a movie that millions would watch with out a problem, or the Dub coming out of a dentist and wont swallow as much as a tiny drop let of their own blood? the crap that was spewed from the WT many years ago about "even ones own family members would turn away and even hate Jeehoovah" caused so much hardship and sorrow for millions.
• 

  Mary

  Does anyone know if it is common practice for JWs to take down or remove photos of DFd or DAd family members within their homes? If so, is there any basis for this practice within WT Literature TM ?

  I dont' know of any JW's personally who have done this and I don't recall ever seeing anything in the litter-chur that says you should maybe do this. If any Dubs do this, I'm assuming it's either because:

  a) They are indeed, 'going beyond what is written' and are showing where their true loyalty lays by becoming 'super-fine' christians; or

  b) Since they believe that the DF'd family member is going to die at Armageddon with no hope of a resurrection, they might find it too difficult to look at the pictures and be reminded of 'happier times' when the family member was still in da troof.
• 

  jookbeard

  pretty sick dont you think Mary that they genuinely hang on to this belief that us "Armageddon" fodder will be really slaughtered at an event that will never even happen.
• 

  undercover

  Does anyone know if it is common practice for JWs to take down or remove photos of DFd or DAd family members within their homes?

  I know of uberdubs who have done this. One elder, when I asked about his DFd son, went so far as to say, "I have no son". All traces of his existence were removed...until he got reinstated. I don't think that's the most common practice though. I knew plenty of JW families that kept photos, etc. of DFd relatives among their family photos.

  I guess you could look at it from two directions. How many people keep photos of ex-wives/husbands on the mantle after a divorce? You might not destroy them, but they go in a box somewhere. But then again, do you take down the photos of a family member that died? Usually, several generations of family photos will be displayed so their memory isn't forgotten. It depends on the level of indoctrination of the JW on how they view a DFd person

  If so, is there any basis for this practice within WT Literature™? Or is it simply a matter of "going beyond the things written" in order to hurt and disrespect the target, and extended family members who have close ties to the target?

  I haven't read all the posts so maybe someone has already proven me wrong, but I don't think - going by my memory alone - that there is anything written about this. This is intrepretation of the DFing rules by individual tastes or level of guilt. I think it's a good point about it being emotional blackmail. The JW may think they are prompting the "wrongdoer" to change their ways by acting this way, but it's really just hurtful and disrespectful.
• 

  Scully

  undercover:

  The JW may think they are prompting the "wrongdoer" to change their ways by acting this way, but it's really just hurtful and disrespectful.

  How would the action have any effect on the "wrongdoer" if they are not even welcome to visit the home where all evidence of their existence has been removed? In a case like this, it seems to me that the action is for the benefit of the JW, not the "wrongdoer". They know very clearly that they instigated the photo removal, and the continued absence reminds them, every time they look at their "photo gallery" that they took a Righteous™ position.

  The WTS used to say something along the lines of DF'd persons as being "dead to us". That doesn't quite fit the behaviour though. Dead relatives' photos - non-JW deceased relatives' photos - are on display. This is more along the line of a hate crime, a kind of mental/emotional genocide of exJWs.
• 

  Dutch-scientist

  I know JW who wont accept an friendship on facebook with a person who has DFd persons in his friendship list.
• 

  LongHairGal

  SCULLY,

  I have a JW 'friend' who I used to be close to years back and who lives in another state. She suspects I am not that active (I am really a 'fader'). Over the years, I have shared some of my negative views about the religion with her (nothing heavy, just attitudes I hate). We don't have much contact (a few e-mails a couple of times a year). A couple of years ago or so she sends me some stuff and along with it is a partial picture of me which the rest of the pic was cut away from and she obviously kept......

  Even though I am happy to have a forgotten picture of myself, I am sure she did not keep it because she does not really want a memory of me. In this case a picture says a thousand words. I really should forget about her as well.

  You are right in your assessment that their view is contrary to how a person who is really dead is viewed. People who have deceased relatives usually keep pictures around as a remembrance. So, it is a genocide of a sort - mentally anyway.

  DUTCH SCIENTIST,

  This is why I have my F.B. friends list hidden from the few active JWs I know. I suspect JWs do a lot of snooping.
• 

  undercover

  In a case like this, it seems to me that the action is for the benefit of the JW, not the "wrongdoer". They know very clearly that they instigated the photo removal, and the continued absence reminds them, every time they look at their "photo gallery" that they took a Righteous™ position.

  That's a good point. They're re-affirming to themselves how loyal to Jehovah the WTS they are. It's not enough to just shun that DFd family member, they have to remove all traces of them.

  It is an extreme action but I'm sure it happens with some more of the extreme dubs. I'd be willing to bet though, that most JWs don't actually do it. It seems that JW rank and file are slowly, on their own, changing the culture of how to shun DFd family. The WTS may still have an official rule of shunning, but it's apparent that many, if not most, JWs don't follow that rule as they're supposed to anymore.
• 

  leavingwt

  I received credible testimony that one of my in-laws took a marker and blacked out my face in a wedding photo.