This is a rant. I don't know who else to rant to that will really understand. Maybe some of you will relate.
Yesterday, I did the drive up to my university of choice for their 11/11 open house. It started out okay, but within about 20 minutes, I was about ready to just leave. At check-in, it was odd. I can't remember exactly how the conversation went, but it was like I had to explain to the lady that I am the applying student (nobody else was with me), I'm obviously not a high school senior (I'm over 30), nor do I have an invisible child with me that I'm getting information for. I could laugh it off the first couple of times I approached a table for information, maybe. But by the third time, when I'd finally gotten around to the table with my major, I was sick of explaining. Around the fifth time, I quit making eye contact and just took the information sheets on the desks and walked away.
Even at the non-traditional student desk, it was weird. "For non-traditional students, we have a lounge in the basement, and we have a facebook group. Do you have any other questions?" Really? Nobody has ever imagined that it might be practical to have at least one advisor that is specifically involved in non-trads that have actually had lives and job experience before returning to school? Maybe some recommendations on housing? I don't really care about a special lounge, I'd just like to have the assurance that I'll be able to walk around campus without constantly being asked if I'm lost and trying to find my kid. If I'd come in as a 19yo latino trans-gender handicapped Muslem they would have understood and welcomed me as a 'diversity' student. That's fine for him/her, whatever. Instead, I'm over 30 and they're looking at me like "WTF, what are we supposed to do with you?"
I just felt terribly out-of-place. I did the campus tour, but decided to check-out a couple of buildings on my own, rather than endure any more ackward conversations and tours given by freshmen.
The only really bright spot was visiting the Honors Program table. First the girl figured out right away that I was an adult student and sold me on the benefits of the Honors Program for pre-enrollment into any class I wanted and special advisors. Then she was joined by another lady, evidently a director, that handed me an application and was in "recruit" mode. It felt good to be taken seriously.
Yeah, I suppose I'll still enroll. But my confidence took a brutal hit. If it weren't for the fact that I've kept a high GPA through an aggressive schedule, I don't know what I'd do. I don't know if they were trying to act non-discriminatory by not acknowledging that I'm an adult, but everybody came across as having a smart-a$s attitude. It was a long drive and I wish I would have spent the time at home studying.
University Open House -- What did I do wrong?
by Billy the Ex-Bethelite 27 Replies latest members private
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
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Coffee House Girl
It is so funny you brought that up- I also am a transfer non-traditional student- 32years old (my freshman year I went to a private Christian University with a specific adult program- so there was nothing but working adults) anyway....I finally figured out what I want to do which prompted me to switch schools to a "real" university with an art history major program-
at the first orientation, I didn't even take the campus tour- I was alone with no parents and it seemed geared more for kids
at my transfer orientation- I felt I needed a lot of help registering for classes, but I was just shown to a computer room- it was so frustrating trying to fit in classes with my work schedule (like fitting together a jigsaw puzzle with no pieces that fit- you just had to jam em in). and I havent even spoken with my major/minor advisors yet!!! Aarg, and classes start January.....
Hope you feel better after the rant- best of luck!
CHG
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miseryloveselders
If I'd come in as a 19yo latino trans-gender handicapped Muslem they would have understood and welcomed me as a 'diversity' student. That's fine for him/her, whatever. Instead, I'm over 30 and they're looking at me like "WTF, what are we supposed to do with you?"
I busted out laughing during this part. I feel for you bruh. Sucks getting old man. I'm in the early part of my third decade on this miserable planet, and its horrible, just plain horrible. Look at the bright side Billy, you're at least going back to school. Dude, if you can get over the hump of being a disgraced Bethelite/fading JW/former elder/etc., than you can accomplish any social hurdles thrown at you.
By the way man, I've been thinking about going back to school, but this thread is highly discouraging. I don't know where to begin when it comes to going back to school. From your post I take it you've gotten over the initial going back to school hump and but you're still facing a nightmare. After reading your post, I shudder to think what its like to start from the very beginning in the planning stages. No wonder so many people just accept their fate as JWs.
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laverite
Billy --
Go to the best university you can afford to go to and that is practical given whatever situation you have. The rest will work itself out. The orientation/campus visit days are organized by a particular office and they often have their own staff. Beyond that, they send out emails to get others involved (Housing and Residential Services pretty much HAVE to be a part of these things, but many other campus groups, etc. do so voluntarily. They don't necessarily train the staff on how to interact with or handle mature students. Many of the people you interacted with were most likely current students.
When you enter a classroom and sit down, and start taking notes, your peers will understand you are fellow student. The social cues will be there. What you experienced will likely not continue as a problem. If it's a university with a lot of graduate programs, it's not uncommon for grad students to be in their 30s or older sometimes and so people shouldn't be shocked by this.
In short, you WILL be just fine. Pick the university that is right for you. Your profs will love you -- you are more serious and more focused than most of your peers will be.
You will do great, fit in nicely and your profs will appreciate your presence. Go for it! Don't be discouraged Billy. You can and WILL do it. PM me if you want.
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blondie
When I went back to college, I was always mistaken for the instructor. There were a few students in their mid 20's but not in their early 30's. I would end up going out after class with the instructor, hard to fit in with 18 year olds. I finally found a group closer to my age.
Blondie
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
That was funny LWT!
Good luck to you too, CHG.
MLE, I think the fact that I've started out at a community college that prides itself in non-trads has made my first semesters back to school a fairly comfortable adjustment, here anyway. I'm the oldest student in most of my classes, but there are plenty of others that are late 20s, and I never feel like I'm out of place. And I'm prepared for the challenges that will come with moving to the bigger pond of a university. But I just got a creepy feeling from the odd reception I got yesterday, wondering if I'm going to have to prove myself as a valid student to every class I enter.
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purplesofa
My daughter is starting college and she said she felt old and she is only 23!!!
She is discouraged right now, no one seems to be on the same page and she feels like she is getting the run around.
purps
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Found Sheep
I went back at 27-31 but I was an average age for the program. I felt out of place just because I was never in a big group of all non JW's... I was proud to be an "older" student, and age in some ways helped. I do feel your pain, would be nice to feel like you fit in
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Justitia Themis
Recruiters are a diffferent breed. Don't worry about it. For all their rhetoric, they just see a herd, not individual people in the herd. Your instructors will be glad to see you. They usually love older students.