by Billy the Ex-Bethelite 27 Replies latest members private
I got the same kind of treatment when I enrolled in College in my early 30s.
They were super excited, like "we've never had anyone with such excellent scores on the pre-admission exams" then realizing that I'm a grown up mom already.... *crickets* "ummmm well welcome and good luck in the program."
Okay, Billy and all you other would-be nontrad students: Suck it up! ( I means this is in the most loving way)
First of all, 30-odd IS NOT FRIGGIN OLD!!! You aren't even withint striking distance of the half-way point (unless you chain smoke and then I suggest you quit).
Second of all, it takes real balls and iron-willed determination to go back to school over 30 and stick it out. I'm speaking from experience, here, as someone who walked into her first English Lit class room at 41. It took every ounce of courage to make it to the desk and sit down, mostly b/c all the other kids (yes, kids) straightened up expectantly when I walked in. When I sat in a student desk instead of the one at the front of the class, the weirdness in the room was palpable. And getting into the groove of academia means heavy lifting mentally (not something we exactly have training for as ex-JWs). But OMG, I never knew how much I never knew (but now I do!! ) I feel so much smarter today, so much more capable of taking on just about--anything involving a bit of mental perspicacity. I'm in a mileu that actually appreciates critical inquiry. Go figure!
My suggestion is to get on the University online forum and start a thread that is a shout-out to all the nontrads on campus. You will be amazed at how many responses you get and the age range--and how they're all experiencing the same weirdness and uncertainty as you. You'll find you're not alone. I'm now finishing my M.A., for which I earned a Teaching Assistantship and now am the one teaching (Freshman Comp) and getting paid for it (plus a tuition waiver--sweet). The first quarter I taught (last year) I had a 30-odd ex-Marine in my class. He was great. And now, even though Im in my mid-forties, there are three other grad students in my cohort older than me and another one who's only a year or two younger.
I guarantee, Billy, you will encounter LOTS of students WAY older than you!! The pay off is SO worth it--the last few years have the been best in my whole life. I understand now why the WT clamps down on higher ed--it's not b/c it fosters greed for wealth or it takes up too much time or b/c you should be pioneering instead. The REAL reason is because it teaches you how to think critically in a way that high school can't--and that's what the WT fears.
I work at a community college with 50k students spread over 5 campuses, and a thriving virtual campus. Our average student is 27. That means that there are as many older as younger than that midpoint. It's fabulous to see people achieve their goals and dreams, no matter what their age. "You are never too old to be what you might have been!"
Purps, please tell your daughter that it gets better and better and by the time she graduates she won't want to leave. There is a learning curve when you start at a college or university. Sorting through difficulties and runarounds is valuable life experience. Even the most modern colleges have a labyrinthine admissions, scheduling, and registration process. Please tell her to hang in there and don't let the details get in the way of her goal. The discomfort will go away as she learns the system.
I felt the same when I first started. I had thought that they would be more helpful towards potential students. Considering the economy, you would think that colleges are used to seeing non-trad students applying, and alter their recruitment methods. I had no idea what to do when I was getting ready to start college, and after telling the admissions coordinator that several times, she emailed me a lot to keep me up to date on what I needed to do. But I had to be the one to remind them that I was new to the whole process.
It sounds like freshmen and sophmores were in charge of a lot of the tables? Maybe they felt intimidated by you. I could hear some thinking, "What do I tell him about? He's probably got an apartment or house, so don't bore him with housing. He's probably got a job or an inheritance; don't bother him about student services, etc".
If you do enroll there, maybe you could suggest some changes before their next open house. They'd be horrified if they knew what kind of impression they made on you.
That kind of stinks....I am sorry! I too am a smidge over 30 and need to finish my degree. But I know how you feel because some little punks called me and my 35 year old friend cougars last weekend! Really? I know I am not a cougar!
There are a ton of mature people going to college these days and I think it is safe to say you just got a lame bunch of non informed people manning the desks that night. Sorry you had to deal with that. I am really geeked for you going back, what are you studying?
I've found that you get a lot better information just by reading a school's web site. Read it over and over because, face it, JW's are out of the loop as far as terminology and usage; what the school means and what those out of the loop think it means are often very far apart.
If you have questions about something on the site do this: First, read and read again. Second, find an email address for the department responsible for that section of the site (Admissions, Records, etc.) then email your questions or concerns. It's better to have a written record of interactions; you can go back over it again and again until everything gels.
As far as campus tours, do it on your own a time or two (or three...). Visit at different times of day and different days of the week, just as you would if you were scouting out a new neighborhood in which to live. It may be difficult distancewise or timewise, true, but if you are planning to spend a significant amount of time in their environment it's well worth it. There's always a campus map online, print it and take it with you. Find the on-campus eateries, spend some coffee time there and listed/watch. Visit the Library. Hang around or walk around leisurely, you'll find people to talk to, a question here and there. That and your own silent observations are worth more than the guided tours.
Check out RateMyProfessors.com. Plug in the names of the instructors for the various classes you are interested in and get some advance warning on what to expect. You can match names to classes using the college catalog and schedule of classes.
Go to YouTube.com and search for videos by your prospective school...and it's clubs and individual students. If it's a college town then search out the local newspaper vids to get a feel for the relations between the townies and the students.
Not trying to sound tough here, but....the whole entrance process is a screening mechanism in itself. They're not really going to hold your hand no matter how much they say so online or in person. You have to navigate pretty much on your own. Them that can makes it and them that can't doesn't. That's hard on people who haven't been exposed to the whole higher education thing through their families or other support groups but hey....we made it this far, we can do the school thing too. It's just going to be a bit more stressful than for some.
Been there, did that, made it through just fine.
B the X, I feel for you. Just think of it this way... you're in a class all your own!
I was 31 when I started college and 35 when I graduated. Part of the problem is that many people who work at large universities are complete morons. I had a major problem every single semester with everything from scheduling to financial aid.
Billy, never give up, do not be discouraged. You will be fine.
Scott77
