Newbies or folks who have Been Here the last 2 years - How is your Fade Going?
by flipper 28 Replies latest jw friends
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flipper
How the hell did I do that ? Woops. Anyway, hit the wrong button ! LOL ! So how are your fades going ? Are things getting easier for you or harder ? Or in- between , or both ? Look forward to seeing how you guys & gals are doing . All comments welcome. Remember we are all survivors who can relate . Hang in there
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wasblind
Hi there flipp,
it was easy for me to just up and quit cause I didn't have any family in,
but I still see a lot of JW's around town and they still stop by but I don't
know for how long that'll be scince they now know where I stand now
I guess it's more difficult for those with deep ties and a lot more to lose
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flipper
WASBLIND- Hello Wasblind. Good point you make. Many with family members on the inside find it harder to fade as they are so consumed with walking on eggshells around JW family. I'm glad to here you have no JW family members- I'm sure that made your fade easier . Even though I have lots of family still in the JW's , most accept my fade- except my 2 adult daughters & 1 sibling. Other than that it's been pretty smooth sailing the last several years. Went through a couple rough patches - but for the most part it's going well
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xelder
Well....I recently moved 10 miles out of the territory and so heven't been to a meeting in 3 months. Guess when elders call my cell phone?......aroung the 5th of each month wanting my time.....haha typical.
I bump into my elder buddies sometimes and am very friendly and conversant about the weather and other such deep matters.....:) Looks like I will always have family in so things will be a little tricky.....especially if/when I find a new sweety. It will be tough if she wants to celebrate holidays and my family sees....oh well....maybe I can find a nice asian or jewish girl. Witness family would be more accepting of that circumstance than marrying a different brand of Christian.....haha
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xelder
by the way....nice to hear from you Mr. Flip.......say hi to your bride....take care of her......love her......you probably don't deserve her so tell her every day....:)
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GrandmaJones
So funny that you ask this tonight, as I was getting ready to post a thread updating my status regarding my "fade".
So far, so good, although I have been taking some considerable risks. Hopefully, it won't come back to bite me.
I have spoken with my husband, told him that I no longer believe this is God's channel of communication, will no longer attend meetings, and will not go in service. He is not, nor has he ever been a believer. He just about roared. He laughed a full minute. He just couldn't believe that after all these years, I suddenly up and changed my opinion without warning. I explained that it may seem to him to be without warning, but that it was not without a great deal of thought. He is pleased, but in practice, it will mean little change in his life. We never, never talk religion. Made that pact many years ago to keep peace between us. He has never cared to celebrate holidays much, and if I wanted to or wished to, then I would have to be ready to take on all that it would entail. He wouldn't bother. So.......husband told, he was pleased, and he well understands what would happen to my family relationships if he shared that information. He advised me to tell no one else. No one.
I spoke to one of my sons. He was totally shocked. Actually, I had counted on him to be a little weak in the faith, as he is very irregular in service and meeting attendance. But no, he is a believer. He listened, could see my points, (kept returning to the shocked repeatedly) and said he still believes, but respects my right not to, understands my reasons, and will never, ever shun me in any way. He assured me of his love, and assured me that he will tell no one. He was very firm that I not tell anyone else as he believes it will eventually get me DF'd. So........son is shocked but supportive.
I spoke to one of my grandchildren. She understood what I was saying, and the reasons, as well as to admitting to very serious doubts herself. She will be supportive, will never give me away, and said she was probably not going to get baptized anyway, and this just makes it easier for her. So......one grandchild clearly okay with it.
I spoke with one of my sisters. She was floored, but admitted to having the same issues for many, many years as well. She assured me she will never turn her back on me no matter what. She is fine with me leaving, and will not try to pressure me in any way. She asked me not to go the the assembly and hand out apostate literature. (I think she was kidding) I really think she is of the opinion that there is just no where else to go. So....my sister is okay with this.
Now I really took a chance with this one. I didn't go so far as to commit myself, but in a family reunion last month, we all got into a bible discussion and one of my nephews was very open in his belief that no one will be destroyed at Armageddon, and everyone will get a resurrection. I encouraged him and asked further questions. I agreed with him as he made his points. He suggested that the reason the society tells us this (the destruction at Armageddon) is true is so that we won't stop attending the meetings and preaching. This statement was met with some agreement by some in the room, and denial by others. He finished by saying that everyone must come to their own conclusions about what they believe regardless of what the Watchtower says. General consensus on that point. It was all I could do to restrain myself from exclaiming that they were ALL apostates. Enough questions were raised that several have agreed to look up things and email them around. I was careful not to be one of them. So........some extended family is open, particularly my nephew and one of my cousins.
I haven't been to a meeting in six or seven weeks, nor out in service for at least two months. I stopped both instantly the minute I made up my mind. The rest of the family is keeping silent on my absence. I am not sure why, but it can't last.
I hope I won't be on this board hysterical some day soon. It could happen, you know.
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flipper
XELDER- Hey, how ya doin' ? Good hearing from you ! We'll have to catch up soon someday on the phone ! Isn't it amazing that the thing your former elders were concerned with- was your field service report ? What does THAT tell you about their priorities ?? Well- maybe you'll get lucky and find an agnostic/atheist lady to fall in love with like I did ! Mrs. Flipper is doing very well and yes, I definitely know the treasure I have my friend ! Thanks for asking . She sends her best to you.
GRANDMA JONES- Wow ! It sounds like things are going along very well for you my friend ! Good for you ! Remember when you first came on the board and you eemed very paranoid about the reaction you'd get from JW family members ? Sounds like it's worked out better than you thought. Most of them respect your decision to fade and say they will respect it. And it's very good that they all see the need to be quiet about it. That is a VERY good sign for you. Thanks for the update ! Hang in there. Sounds like you have a great, supportive husband as well- that is a huge asset to you. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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Mad Sweeney
I've been marked so I'm pretty much left alone, which is what I want.
I still suffer some paranoia on Saturday mornings. It's only a matter of time before they come for me, right?
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wasblind
Hi there Grandma Jones,
I wouldn't be surprised if more of your family members followed you out, I hopes so