Newbies or folks who have Been Here the last 2 years - How is your Fade Going?

by flipper 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  truthseekeriam

  Hey Flipper

  Our fade is going wonderful !!

  The parents have finally realized they were fighting a losing battle and decided to love us anyways :) It's so nice to not stress out when I see the caller ID come up and know it was going to be a long emotional fight, I now know it will be a mostly pleasant conversation of what is going on in our lives and theirs.

  I have learned keep silent at times and just keep peace... as did they. I also learned there are certain family members I have to cut off because they just will not accept our choice... it's hard, but necessary.

  The elders have stepped off and have left us alone... knowing, we have nothing to say to them.

  On the occasional Sat when they are in the neighborhood doing door to door they tend to send the new ones in the congregation or the young ones I think they want to avoid us as much as we wish to avoid them.

  We haven't really been able to jump into all the holiday's as of yet..I think that will come in time.

  The kids are really enjoying the special treatment on birthdays though!! Nice dinner's and pizza's delivered to school for them and their friends are a big hit!!
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  dssynergy

  I think I'm doing well. I haven't really been to a meeting for over a year - one here or there, but not a regular attender for many months. I was listening on the phone for a while, but I've stopped that too. I recently told my mom and one of my close friends who are concerned about me that I'm taking a break. I'm actually going through a pretty severe depression, so I used that as my reason for not going. They are both very concerned (without malice) but are supportive and accepting of my choice right now. How long this will stick, I'm not sure.

  Even though I travel a lot, and have not attended meetings in many months, my congregation group leader still sends me my study WT and KM. I find it odd, and wonder how long that will continue.

  I don't feel a need to declare my stance to anyone or make any grand exit. I still have family in that I care about - particularly a nephew who is young and living with crazy people. I'm sticking around for him. So, I still ask people what is going on in their congregation, and am generally supportive when they talk about how things are going for them if it something they feel is important. I'm respectful of their view, even if I disagree with it - just as I am with anyone else.

  I guess to JWs on the inside, I'm living something of a double life. There are certainly things I have done or am doing that could get me disfellowshipped if anyone knew about them. But, they are things that are on the down-low. I'm very careful. And, I don't feel guilty and I'm not going to "confess".

  I would say, that over all, now that I have told my mom and my friend that I'm taking a break, I feel better. I think getting baptised at 16 due to pressure from my mom is the root of my depression any way. There is no downer quite like feeling trapped. Bleh.

  Here's to fresh starts!

  Thanks for asking Flipper. Always nice to know someone cares.

  DS
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  fadinfast

  Hi ,I posted this on Sunday, http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/201963/1/New-kid-on-the-block tells about our fade, I seem to be a mag route keeping right upwith watchtower claptrap, even study mag, guess that will fade LOL, As it said in another thread I just read, seven days without the org...makes one Awesome Week. FF
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  Albert Einstein

  Hi Flip, life is great now.

  Havent been to a meeting for a year now, the same is my wife, missed two assemblies, local JW probably gave up with us. (The elders come to our house once in two months to bring us magazines, I do not let them in, I just take the magazines and throw them away as soon as they leave...)

  The greatest thing - my 9 year old son is having a wonderful life, many friends at school and in the neighborhood, playing soccer, going to birthday parties ... great relief having him out of the crazy cult...

  Albert
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  zoiks

  Thanks for asking, Mr. Flipper!

  It's going well. I find myself thinking of JW related subjects less and less, and we are just plain busy with life. Our mental health has improved tenfold, the kids are happy, our families are slooooooooooowly starting to accept things as they are, and the lack of 'Jehovah's blessing' in our lives has been just fine.

  Take care, you and the Mrs. both.
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  paladin

  Hi Flip, still trying to fade slowly.

  I have a hounder elder after me for FS time every month. Would telling him I am suffering from depression get him off my back? I want nothing more to do with FS.
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  Slayerbard

  went well, I'm completly out now. I guised my exodus as moving out of state for work. So far so good. I have family in, and they still think I attend. Thankfully Blonde (bless you, yup I said it!) posts the watchtower comments. which is REALLY appreciate to make chit chat about the meetings. Also another sister I knew feels the need to spam my inbox with watchtower propaganda, oddly enough. That also helps.

  I was a born inner.. and can't believe I hung in as long as I did. It got to the point where I just WANTED to beleive. But couldn't, cause I saw it was all BS. Then I was rather depressed cause I felt good didn't want me. since all we hear is that Jehovah's draws people. Well I wasn't being drawn obviously..so that much mean he didn't want me! After trying, adn studying, I still thought it was all crap. And honestly the only ones with veils over their eyes are the ones in the organazation! Cause they can't see the man behind the curtain, they only see the Wonderful Wizard of Jehovah..
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  flipper

  MAD SWEENEY- Yeah, I know what it is to be marked also. So many rumors have probably been started about me where I used to live an hour away from here- I'd probably be shocked if I heard them all. How long have you been fading now Sweeney ? In time you'll get over the Saturday morning paranoia. If you stay off the radar - the elders may not bother you at all. The only reason they bugged ME after 3 years of fading in 2007 - was because my ex-wife got the elders attention about me dating Mrs. Flipper . So you should be O.K. unless some nosy relative has an agenda against you. Hopefully you are at peace with your relatives.

  TRUTHSEEKERIAM- I'm so glad to hear that your parents have agreed to accept your fade and not hassle you folks. My parents are the same. They respect my fade and love my non-witness wife a lot so we have a good relationship. Like yourself - I too experience shunning from difficult JW relatives, one older sister & both my adult daughters shun me - so I just leave it alone. I figure in time perhaps my daughters will grow up and see the cult mind control they are in. Until then- I'll keep holding out hope extending my olive branch to them. I'm happy for you that your kids are enjoying a normal childhood with Birthdays & friends at school. Good for them ! Keep their minds free.

  DSSYNERGY- It sounds like your fade is going pretty well for you. I'm sorry to hear about your depression my friend. Have you sought counseling ? Or are you able to manage it O.K. on your own ? Hang in there. It's a tough road the first year after exiting the JW's. Lots of bizarre emotions we go through. It really helps that your mom accepts what you are doing and respects your position. It's a big load off your shoulders. In my 7 years out- my stance has been pretty much like yours- I'll be respectful to JW's if I see them in a store or something , but I didn't feel a need to explain all of my reasons for exiting to people either. And before I met my current wife I was single for about 5-6 years- and I dated a fair number of lady's myself when I was single. I lost the guilt thing a long time ago. We don't owe the elders ANY explanation of what we are doing in our lives. I agree with you- here's to fresh starts indeed ! A free mind is a great thing to have ! Hang in there- I'm happy for you. Take care.

  FADINFAST- Welcome to the board ! Nice having you here. I agree 7 days without the org makes a great week indeed !

  ALBERT EINSTEIN- That is great life is going well for you ! Tremendous ! I'm so glad your son is meeting new friends at school and experiencing a REAL childhood without cult mind control. Awesome. Hopefully the elders won't bother you- just leave magazines. Good luck !

  ZOIKS- Very good my friend ! I'm glad to hear your family is much happier and that your JW family is getting adjusted to the idea of you folks not going back. My parents, siblings, & daughters know I'll never return to it either- so they are being somewhat more conciliatory ( except my 2 daughters & 1 sister ) . Isn't it GREAT to be busy with life and enjoying it ? Send my wife & my love to your wife and kids also. Take care friend.

  PALADIN- Hi there ! Nice hearing from you. Yes, using the depression card works well many times to just get the elders off your back . Tell them thanks for calling, but you'll have to work it out on your own or get counseling . Hopefully that will work and get the elders away from you. I know it's a pain- elders came after me when I first stopped attending. Hang in there.

  SLAYERBARD- I'm glad you are thinking free friend and have stopped attending meetings. It does really help having people like BLONDIE on the board who regularly post the Watchtower comments so we can know what BS they are feeding our JW relatives. Don't get down on yourself for staying in too long- I stayed in 44 years from birth too ! But what's important is YOU DID get out - sometimes the timing is finally right in our lives when it may not have been before. It is bizarre more JW's can't see the puppetmaster WT society pretending to pull the strings as a substitute for God , er Jehovah. But they are all blinded in the organization by cult mind control. All we can do is hope some of our family members get out before they waste their lives on a pipedream. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  Joshinaz

  I've had two sisters of mine follow my steps! I tried to have my parents over to explain to them WHY I left the religion, but they thought I was trying to get THEM to leave it too and called me a Apostate and tried to leave my house. Thankfully my wife pined my mom down and said, "You ain't going anywhere." My mom, whom I spent the money to fly them from Florida and was in her pajamas at the time reluctantly stayed but locked herself in my bedroom for the rest of the week where she prayed, read the bible, and other literature ect.. When she left her last words were, "Well Josh, we don't know if we'll ever see you again." My Dad on the other hand was very understandable, and fun to be around still.
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  fadinfast

  Any one thinking of going to the memorial next year FF