Woman I work with just asked me, "if you fall in love and get married, do you have to marry a JW?" (page 3)

carla

marking and btt-ing for more excellent anti witnessing material!

laverite

MLE,

Wow. Interesting experience. But what I enjoy even more from your posts is your ability to write. You are eloquent, extremely intelligent, and are very much university material.

-LV

Reminds me of what my wife told me about her experiences. Growing up in it she tried to be a good girl, following all the rules, etc.. She would not date and several guys had shown interest in her. She kept pushing them away. Meanwhile, she was 'progressing in the truth' and had become an unbaptized publisher. Then she met me.

By then she was tired of always being looked upon as this 'friend' who the guys 'in the truth' would treat her as. She wanted to be treated special and no longer cared about what others thought. We dated and this drove her parents up the wall. They were in damage control mode now, trying to enlist some of her friends to help her find fellas 'in the truth' to date her. Didn't work as she and I fell in love, besides, where were all these 'brothers' when my wife was looking for them?

They tried to 'indoctrinate' me, but I had already had a religion that I was quite comfortable with. Besides, I was already taught that the witnesses were a false religion so I was on high alert. Nerver-the-less, though, I did give them the benefit of the doubt and got to know them and their beliefs. I saw some good points, some bad, some similarities and some differences. We married and moved away about a year later and not too long after that, I received a letter from my mother-in-law stating how disappointed she was that her daughter left Jehovah for me.

Funny, I never thought I was competing with a deity. I wished I had seen it then, but I see now that this kind of thinking is really bizarre.

sd-7

Well...guess I ended up marrying "in the Lord" while I was mentally 'out of the Lord', but um...what can you say?

Leavingwt--funny that you should say that. A co-worker I was discussing my research with actually told me later that she knew JWs were a cult but wasn't sure how I would react if she said anything, so she kept it to herself. Funny. I always knew I was freak of the week when I'd talk about all that stuff and feel awkward having to say, gee, I can't come to the holiday party because I'm blah blah blah blah blah... I felt like I was still in elementary school. Geez...

I think with this issue, I always felt that my romantic feelings, my desire to be married and have a family, were wrong and selfish. I was supposed to keep all that out of my life so I could "serve without distraction". While...circuit overseers, elders, GB members, and yes, even apostles were married, I should 'get my priorities in order' as far as that goes, and try to stay single. Go figure. But I knew I'd get married if I found someone who liked me and I managed to get up the courage to interact with them. Didn't plan for it to end up as it did, but...ironically, as an apostate, I obeyed this command. No wonder people made fun of me on here so much!

On that note, I think I need a vampire bat face. I'm watching "Vein Love", tonight, on the February 15th, 2011 Watchtower Channel!

-sd-7

EmptyInside

Yes, I was asked this a lot. And I was a hardcore dub then. But, I could tell my co-workers figured that we feel we're better than everyone else.

But, it's strange how this was one of the big things that made me start to question everything. I think it's horrible that if a baptized Witness marries and unbeliever,they get "marked"and a talk is given to the congregation. Of course,not every body of elders follows through with this,especially if the one in question is an elder's daughter. lol.

Broken Promises

When I was still attending, the PO's niece married a non-witness. She was made an example of. I didn't know her that well, but I felt sorry for her. The PO was unnecessarily harsh with her.

Doubtfully Yours

I was asked a similar question by co-workers a long time ago, although I was already married. I told them that marriage is very challenging and one must look for someone with the most interests in common. Since we JWs are so different from mainstream society in our beliefs and practices, it would make it for a much happier union if we married another JW. However, people that aren't so serious about the religion do marry outsiders, then of course they start to complaint about their partner or situation as it makes for a tense relationship most often than if one married another JW.

You know, that goes for just about any faith a person is serious about; serious Jewish do not marry outside of their faith, serious catholics should also marry other serious catholics. Nothing new really.

As Dr. Laura says, and she's so very right about this, "love is not enough".

DY

miseryloveselders

I was asked a similar question by co-workers a long time ago, although I was already married. I told them that marriage is very challenging and one must look for someone with the most interests in common. Since we JWs are so different from mainstream society in our beliefs and practices, it would make it for a much happier union if we married another JW. However, people that aren't so serious about the religion do marry outsiders, then of course they start to complaint about their partner or situation as it makes for a tense relationship most often than if one married another JW.

You know, that goes for just about any faith a person is serious about; serious Jewish do not marry outside of their faith, serious catholics should also marry other serious catholics. Nothing new really.

As Dr. Laura says, and she's so very right about this, "love is not enough".

DY

Good post, although I do have one point that I for lack of a better term, disagree with. What I bolded. I don't know if I can even say I disagree with you per say, as I've seen enough marriages between two different faiths, both in Da Troof, and amongst those Worldlies, that had their fair share of problems. Anybody who's been around JWs long enough, particulary elders or anybody privy to the going ons within a congregation, they'll tell you JW marriages are just as screwed up as nonJW marriages. Regardless if one marries in Da Troof, or a nonbeliever.

Good diplomatic response to your coworkers though. I hate non-dinner-table conversations when I'm at work.

Woman I work with just asked me, "if you fall in love and get married, do you have to marry a JW?"