garyneal,
sorry to hear things are so difficult
we finally made to vb send you a pm if I can figure out how.
Just feeling a little down in the dumps tonight...
by garyneal 31 Replies latest jw friends
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mouthy
I followed that advice when I was a died in the wool JW
I went to my hubby's Christmas party,BUT HE had told
all there about my ways ( obedience to the old men at Brooklyn)
So I sat at the table my hubby put me at .A LONG TABLE!! & NOT ONE
person sat at it. My hubby danced with all the women,many folk came to
where I was sitting to tell me my hubby was a better person than I
Told me to smarten up! I sat there all ALONE all night. .
Felt so good at being persecuted for JehovahHang in there Gary!!!!!
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PSacramento
Christmas is a time when we remember what the birth of Christ is suppose to mean: Love and goodwill towards all.
It doesn't matter how commercial it has become, where it came from or the general sillines that tends to go with some of the traditions that have become part of it.
What matters is the spirit of Christmas and that spirit is love and goodwill, if you have that, you always have Christmas.
Of course if you have issues with that you can always celebreate Hanukkah, Jesus did ;)
Ah Podo...my heart goes out to you..trully...I pray the lord gives you and your family the strength they need to deal with this and my his love fill your lives and strengthen your love for each other.
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nancy drew
can't figure out the pm thing.
help
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life is to short
I am so sorry for what you are going through- misserloveselders was right on when he said (I can't tell you how many JW relationships with two believing mates struggle because of one being an elder, or one being a pioneer. Many a married brother or sister has had regretted marriage within Da Troof because when married to a die hard JW, they really don't have a companion.)
Even when I was a die hard JW I still loved Christmas. You see when I was a kid we did the whole Christmas thing and it was a happy peaceful time in a very abusive family. My Grandmother who was the only one that I felt loved me would go all out. I loved every minute of it. Then she died when I was seven and that was it. She died the first of December and we did not do Christmas that year or any other year after. But the memory's of it being a happy time never left me.
misserloveselders is right the mark. I married an elder who was pioneering. Life was hell. We had no marriage. Not only did the Troof take the holidays but anniversary's anytime when had planed to be together could be riped out from under me if someone in the hall needed my husband. I had many phone calls where some sad sister would call and tell me to send my husband over to them. When I would tell them that we had plans and he would come after words I was yelled at, cussed at, hung up on, etc.
I do not know what to say nothing worked for me, trying to explain that I needed some time with him, that I was going crazy sitting in a car for hours waiting for him in elders meetings, begging and pleading nothing worked. The members of the religion came first period. One time I even burned my hand really bad on the stove and my husband was busy being an elder on the phone. I went up to him and said I think I really hurt myself bad he replay was can't you see I am busy. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain, I just said never mind and took care of it myself.
When they get in the JW mood nothing seems to wake them up. I wish I had walked looking back. I truly do not know why I stayed. Scarred I guess and I did love him.
I wish there was some magic pill you could give to JW's to make them have feelings.
LITS
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Ding
Nancy Drew,
In order to send a PM to someone, double click on their name where it appears above their avatar.
You'll be directed to their profile page.
There's a heading you can double click if you want to compose a message to them.
A window will open up where you can compose a message.
Make sure it's what you want to say because one it's sent you can't withdraw it.
When you're done, click "Submit" at the bottom of the window.
To receive PMs, double click on the little envelope in the upper right hand corner of the JWN screen.
Often, you get an error message.
Then go back and double click on the envelope again.
Then you'll get a list of PMs you receive, starting with the first and ending with the last.
Double click on the one you want to open.
A window with the PM will open up.
If you want to reply right away, there's a heading you can double click for that.
If you want to check the messages you've sent, there's a heading for that too.
Hope this clears it up.
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snowbird
(((((((Gary Neal)))))))
Syl
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exwhyzee
I wanted to go to that one too, but I did not want to go alone. I asked the wifey but she said no.
It's a shame you have to miss out or go alone to these things. Is there any chance of you taking a "date" to the party? If you could ask your sister or cousin or even a coworker who is someone who your wife wouldn't see as a threat to your marriage, it might send a message to your her that you have seriously had it with going alone to these events. Instead of tip-toeing around her beliefs, maybe if you take a "date" and let her know that you are not going to hide the reasons why she is not with you anymore and why you brought someone else, she might see things differently.
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Nice_Dream
That's a great article Blondie.
Gary, yes my husband seems to be an uber dub even though he no longer attends meetings. I'm a recent unbeliever, after being born-in. And although my husband is inactive and has lost his faith, he still won't go to his Holiday party at work. Maybe in a few years he'll change his mind. Who doesn't want to get dressed up, have fun, and enjoy a night without the kids?
I hope you still attend your other party and have fun.
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garyneal
Snoozy: Glad to see that your husband had a good time even though he 'reverts' to being an uber dub.
Meangirl: Thanks for your support.
Podobear: So sorry to hear about your mom. 50 years, wow. I guess that is why I feel like my problems are 'silly.' "I cry because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet." Love and strength to you and your family.
Black Sheep my friend, LOL. Yeah, that topic comes up a lot. My wife went to the meeting Tuesday night because they have the CO visiting there. Guess what the topic was about? The last days and how we must keep on the watch and how church attendance is really dropping in recent years. Of course, he points out that we don't really see the drop in church attendence in our area because we are living in the bible belt. Reminds me of Ele Lux's post where the witnesses in Mexico are surely looking for Armagheddon to come soon due to all the problems Mexico has been having lately.
Heaven: Interesting scripture reference, thanks.
Blondie: Just sent a copy of that QFR article to my wife via e-mail. The article itself is very double sided but I could use it to also explain why I go with her to the assemblies and conventions. That whole spiel about staying away from 'false worship' can cut both ways. Thank you.
Nancy Drew: Click my name, then click on the Send Message button across the top.
Gracy: That was just mean of your husband and his friends to treat you that way. Regardless of whether or not he agreed with your former religion. I think it would've driven me further into the cult if I had been a believer. I'm glad you're out. Are you participating in the secret santa / christmas cards exchange?
PSac: I agree, the spirit of Christmas should be shared all year long. One thing I always wanted to get involved in is charitable work. Unfortunately, I don't get to do that enough but at least I can do more of it this time of year.
LITS: What a terrible example of people 'putting Kingdom interest the Watchtower Society first.'
I wish there was some magic pill you could give to JW's to make them have feelings.
There may not be any pills to make witnesses have feelings but there sure are pills to help witnesses deal with the depression. So many people in my wife's side of the family have some kind of phobia that I can't help but to wonder if their fears are if not caused than at least exasperated by the religion. Some of the stuff I deal with when the aunts and cousins are around border on ridiculous.
Here's hoping for better days for you and your husband.
Syl: Thanks for the hugs...
XYZ: This happens at Halloween and Christmas and it happened on my birthday too. My sister wanted to throw a party for me on my birthday and my wife kept going on and on about how she did not want me going alone because my sister has a lot of friends (females). It's ridiculous. Truth is, I am tempted to take a 'date' with me but I know this can cut both ways too. She may decide to one day 'take a date' to the assemblies or a district conventions. I try to be reasonable but it is hard.
Nice Dream:
And although my husband is inactive and has lost his faith, he still won't go to his Holiday party at work. Maybe in a few years he'll change his mind.
Well at least he is inactive and no longer believes in it. My sister in law is very inactive but I think she still thinks it is the truth deep down. I feel sorry for any 'worldly' man she gets together with long term. My wife's cousin is a baptized witness and last year came to Virginia Beach with her boyfriend and his 3 year old daughter. I think that relationship is over now (thanks in part to my wife reporting her to the elders) and I must say that I am actually glad for her boyfriend that it did not work out.
I love my wife but times like these can be hard and I would not wish this kind of marraige on my worst enemy. It does make me realize how selfish I can be at times too. I guess people who don't have to deal with these things can easily live in their blissful thinking that they are so altruistic. Trial by fire I suppose.