You can tell them politely that you need your space, time to think and sort things by yourself. What's wrong with that?
The CO just called :S
by ele_lux 28 Replies latest jw experiences
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Nobleheart
Ele-lux hang in there. Avoid the visit if you can, or take the polite and brief reply suggested by drewolf and simon. He'll be gone the next week and you can relax again. No matter how scary, a nightmare can't last forever.
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ele_lux
Thank you all for your comments and ideas, but something big just happened... My dad sent me and my brother a letter, and I don't even wanna talk about what he said because my chest literally hurts from crying so much.....
Most fortunately, he decided to come by and explain himself and apologize for being so emotional and blunt. The letter was along the lines of "How can you do this to us, when we love you so much?" But his visit was more about "No matter what you do, we are always your parents and we will never stop showing our love for you." "Please tell us what exactly your religious status is." and "Deal with your elders yourselves, we can't keep covering up for you anymore". So in the end my brother and I had to agree that we have awesome parents, morally way beyond any by-the-book witness.
Of course there was the omnipresent hint of "We are still hoping you come to your senses and embrace the Truth again", but he never explicitly said it, which is good. And we'd rather have them feel that way for their own sake, and well, to be quite honest, who knows? I never thought I'd stop being a Witness and yet here I am, so I learned not to be so sure about anything, so matter how absolutely convinced I am right now.
As for the meeting with the CO, he said he'd handle that one. So I'm off the hook, but I gotta start planning my "fader"-friendly explanation to the elders...
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Palimpsest
People!
You're not required to answer the phone or the door!
I live by the following policy: if the number calling doesn't come up with a name on caller I.D....it doesn't get answered.
Take control...... they only have as much control as YOU give them.
Hiding from them actually gives them more control. Actively confronting them and saying "No" takes your power back.
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3Mozzies
his visit was more about "No matter what you do, we are always your parents and we will never stop showing our love for you."
That is awesome!!! How many ex-JWs would love to hear that from their parents. You are fortunate ele_lux.
Thanks for the update.
3Mozzies
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TheListener
Ele_lux that sounds really great. Congratulations on the good face to face with your father. A word of caution though. The letter your dad wrote was also from his heart so he is obviously of mixed feelings on this subject. It makes sense. He is fearing for your eternal life. When you actually continue on with your fade he may swing back n forth from 'i'll always love you' to 'you're no son of mine'. Emotionally prepare yourself so you can remain even keeled during the potential pendulum swings.
Good luck.
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TweetieBird
My friend stopped going to the meetings over a year ago...just stopped all of a sudden. At first she got a lot of phone calls, emails and stop in's at our work to check on her but she avoided them at all costs. She finally sent an email to one of the elders telling him that she was dating someone not a witness and was enjoying a relationship to the fullest with this man. They still hounded her for a while but as far as I know, nothing ever happened. She basically confessed in an email that she was having sex with a worldly man and still nothing. I guess unless they officially meet with you they can't df you. So, AVOID meeting with them at all costs. You look like you might be coming down with the flu!
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ele_lux
The listener, thanks for the warning. I'll try to remember that.
About what TweetieBird said, i'll make a new thread.
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TheListener
You can be disfellowshipped without being present or ever meeting with the elders.