Why has there never been a manual for wives of elders if the FDS cares so much for families

by life is to short 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    There could be such chapters as

    1 How to raise children in the "truth" without a husband.

    2 How to not feel hurt when your husband ignores you during the meetings and talks to everyone else.

    3 How to handle your husband rushing with anther elder off to be with some poor depressed sister or family night after night when you are depressed yourself.

    4 What to do with yourself when you husband has talks out and he is busy gabbing with the other elders and you are standing alone watching the sisters stare but never coming over to talk to you as you stand there stupidly.

    5 How to handle the rude phone calls of members of the hall demanding your husband come over RIGHT NOW!

    6 How to explain to your children why their father is helping other families and has no time to spend with them.

    7 How to explain to your children that a quick build is more important than they are.

    8 How to explain to neighbors and coworkers why your husband is always busy with the congregation and can never help you around the house.

    My husband and I were talking the other day and he brought up again that the wives of elders should consider the cost of marring an elder.

    I never knew before we were married what it was truly like. When we dated we had time together. After the wedding it all changed. He became different. It was like I was invisible to him and my feelings went out the window, but the feelings of the other sisters were very important to him. Just one example was letting out car run for an hour or more to keep them warm while he was on a call, yet I would sit in the same cold car for hours while he had elders meetings. We had no money and it hurt that he was so concerned for these woman who never gave us a dime for gas money.

    The hurt goes on and on being an elders wife.

    I do not understand the sisters who want their husband to be an elder. I never got any joy out of it.

    LITS

  • wannabefree
    wannabefree

    It is up to the elder to preside over his household in a fine manor and keep his wife in line.

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    That's funny - because it's so true~!!

    And the sitting in the cold car with kids until 11:00pm on a school night? Seriously. What's up with that??? Take two cars seems like a reasonable solution. Right? WRONG. We are a family so we ride together. And it wastes gas. So the 3 school-aged kids can bundle up and bring their homework to the hall to do while dad is in yet another meeting. Bring gloves because it's too hard to write your report while wearing mittens. The baby is hungry and cold and tired so mommy will have to try to keep baby from crying so not able to help the older kids with their homework.

    Hitch a ride home with someone else? Nope. There's not enough room in the car for everyone. Besides, the meeting should only be ten, fifteen, 30 minutes, an hour at most. Well, it won't be too long. Besides it's important. More important than the elder's kids, and certainly more important than their sleep and education. Get home by midnight and the kids can still have 5 hours to sleep before that test Friday morning. They can catch up on sleep over the weekend. Ummm. No that won't work because we have service Saturday morning. Sunday. No. Meeting for service at our house so everyone up early to clean the house and prep for Sunday Field Service. Oh well. Get over it. Quit your bitching and be a good example to the cong.

    I remember those cold and lonely nights. Many times we hadn't even eaten dinner so were hungry to boot.

    And this was probably just a spelling error, but could also be a freudian slip:

    the wives of elders should consider the cost of marring an elder.

    -Aude.

  • designs
    designs

    Ask yourself what is the highest position a Woman can rise to at Bethel.....

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Simply put...they really dont value women....end of.

    Loz x

  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl

    Lol (sarcasticly)

    Hugs to LITS , you have been through a lot and I am sorry- there are so many men and women who are "trapped" in loveless JW marriages because they really have nothing in common, or the mate has become a changed person & that leaves the other person feeling depressed and suffocated because there is no "out" unless you become the "bad" guy by cheating or something like that.

    I hope someday for your sake that your life changes and you can live in peace.

    CHG

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    No manual necessary. It's a one-liner: Keep your mouth shut except for door to door and to give 'exact' comments at Hall.

    At Bethel: it's clean, iron, peel potatoes, type, but "Keep your mouth shut except for some door to door and to give 'exact' comments at Hall and at morning text when your turn."

  • Soldier77
    Soldier77

    Why? Because women to the WTS should be seen not heard. They even have a scripture for that one to pull use.

    Sick. As soon as I find out a single sister is looking for an elder, I shake my head and label her as ignorant.

  • designs
    designs

    'Nothing fancy, Missionary position only thank you very much ' GB

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    "I hope someday for your sake that your life changes and you can live in peace.

    CHG"

    Hello there CHG,

    I hope LITS find peace also, many ex-JW's could if they were left alone

    but they are hunted down, and if they don't buy the bull anymore they have to suffer

    the consequenses. It just makes me sick when they say if you leave you will be

    miserable, true, to have the Elders stalk you is miserable

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