LOL @ Designs
Why has there never been a manual for wives of elders if the FDS cares so much for families
by life is to short 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Magwitch
LITS and Aude.....Spot On!!
A few more chapters for the book...
- Why is my husband fixing the Smith's car when mine needs fixing?
- Why is my husband giving money to the Peterson's, the WW fund, the circuit overseer and the contribution box when he desperately needs to get to the dentist?
- Joanie has sinned again (Why my husband needs to spend 12 hours over the next 2 weekends with John and Warren figuring out which breast received the most fondling)
- Why our vacation time is going to be used up going door to door the week the circuit overseer comes to town.
- Dougie has also sinned again. How to not overhear about his masterbation and premature ejaculation problems.
And of course the Bonus Chapter...
- How to love, adore and respect the man that does not know you exist except when his stomach his hungry, the house needs cleaning for the CO's visit, and his sexual needs need tending to.
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life is to short
Magwitch I totally forgot about what to do when brother big mouth comes to you and tells you all of his problems for you to tell your husband as he needs someone to unburden to right then and your husband happens to be working that one day a week he works to support the family and this brother has to have someone to talk and cannot wait for your husband to get home. Then you get into trouble from your husband for being rude to brother Big mouth as he told your husband you were not very friendly on the phone, and of course your husband takes his word over yours.
And yeh your husband talking to another brother about the sins of some sister in the hall on the phone and you live in such a small house there is no where for you to go and not hear the conversation, so your husband asks you to go outside so as not to eves dropeven in the winter as he has to stay inside to go through the elders book and WT and Awakes on the subject.
And yes then you are supposed to be all hot and turned on when he wants to have sex and he just cannot understand why his touching you turns you off so much. It's all your fault of course your the frigid wife who is not giving her husband his due.
Oh yes you also really cannot plan anything not even date nights and especially a true vacation because of the CO visits or someone in the hall needing your husband right then and of course they trump you. Your vacation has to be postponed to the point that you are so hurt you do not want to go anywhere anyway and then your husband gets upset after you have spent the vacation sleeping in the car as you cannot afford a hotel but he thinks it would be fun for you to invite another couple that hates your guts to join you on vacation and of course its your fault for not arranging that to happen.
Oh the joys of being an elders wife.
I even had a young elder tell me a couple of months ago that my husband could reapply for being an elder and I looked at this elder and said you are out of your mind I will divorce him in a second if he ever, ever goes back to being an elder. I had 22 years of that hell and NO MORE! This elder looked at me like I was mentally ill.
Of course not all elders do that, some ditch the problems cases in the hall on your husband and their wives are princess who cannot handle anything. When you point that out to your husband he tells you that he is not that elder he has to put Jehovah first period.
I hate this religion.
LITS
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OnTheWayOut
Every elder gets to decide for himself what he wants his wife to do. I mean, if one manual says she should prepare hot meals for when he arrives home from his important activities, then the elder who prefers she greet him naked and rub his feet will have to try to convince her that the hot meal is just a "suggestion." One elder husband might have more of a preference for a spotless home instead of home-baked bread by his wife. Another might want her to keep popping out those babies and his fellow elder would be more concerned that "she" get out and pioneer to make "him" look good.
Some wives would say the manual doesn't cover those sexual subjects that her husband asks of her. And you know how JW's feel about everything being covered in the Watchtower literature. Why, such a wife might not participate if the Watchtower forgot to mention something.
But they probably could use a short pamphlet to remind elders' wives how to assume everything their husband says is "as if it came from the Governing Body, which is as if it came from God." Then they really wouldn't need any more than that.
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Broken Promises
LITS, your husband is a jerk. And not all elder husbands are as bad as yours.
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life is to short
Aude Sapere You were spot on also. The not being able to eat part before the meetings, so many nights I would run home from work and change clothes and maybe grab piece of toast as I walked out the door. Oh and there was no reason that someone could have given me a ride home they just refused to do it. I asked twice in my 22 years of being an elder wife and the first time I was ripped to pieces by the wife of the couple that I was a stupid idiot the second time the family acted like I was asking for such a huge favor that I swore I would never put myself to be treated like such crap again.
Broken Promises I too think my husband was a jerk when it came to his being an elder but it is what is taught from the FS. The last DC I went too in 2009 they had a family on the stage the husband was an elder of course, they had I believe three kids if not four. The husband was involved in the RBC and some other stuff and he was never home. The oldest child was a boy who was about 14 years old and he was now man of the house. I kid you not. I was sick listening to it. The boy said that yes he missed his father but he knew his father was doing Jehovah's work and that was more important then being home with the family. The son conducted the family worship night as he was baptized and of course the mom being a woman was not allowed to do that with a baptized male in the home. On and on it went. I was sitting there crying, it really made me sick.
So I know that not all elders do this but the ones who follow the FS to the tee do. The stupid publishing plant comes first.
LITS
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Magwitch
LITS - I have a name for your book....Obtaining Our Goal of Becoming a Stepford Wife - Forever
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flipper
LIFE IS TOO SHORT- It's understandable the reasons that you have so much pent up emotion and anger over how you've been treated. It's normal to feel what you are feeling due to an organization which mistreats and minimizes the importance or human dignity of women and children.
All the stuff that JW husbands were supposed to follow and observe which was read to us from the Bible - treating our wives as Jesus treated the disciples , etc . - just went in one ear and out the other for many JW men. Then the WT society took the alleged " headship principle "too far and expounded on it by giving green lights to elders, MS's, and ANY JW man to be miniature dictators, little Hitler's as it were in their own homes.
I'm sure you aren't alone in feeling this way, plenty of other lady's here felt similar as you. The one way to escape it and cure it ? Get your freedom if you find that's what you need to do. It's up to you on how you will decide and you just need to decide which you prefer - tearing the bandaid off quickly and getting it over with, or slowly tearing the bandaid off as the years drag on. Only you can decide. You know my wife and I are here for you. Hang in there sis