Those affected by the economy and had to make a tough decision

SlipnSlide

Have you been offered assistance by family members and they had a clause in that assistance? My husband lost his job and we were offered help by his father (who was once an elder but has been reaching out for years). My husband is not a witness, although he was raised in it. I am baptized, but I wised up earlier this year. I was fading very well before this happended. We are staying with his father and wife and there are a couple of rules:

This is a spritual home and my son is "worldly", so attendance to the meetings are "mandatory".

Sitting in on the Family Worship study with his wife.

He is reaching again (mentioned above) and the only thing that matters to him is his "appearance" to the r & f in the congregation. His son has never been interested and will never be interested in becoming a JW, but his father thinks that he can finally get through him this way. I told his father that forcing someone to accept your way of thinking and way of life does not work in the long run. You can't make someone be a witness if they don't want to especially if they are "over 40". You would think that this is expected from a "child". His father knows that don't agree with this, but since my husband arranged this whole thing, I'll respect your rule of the house. This has made me bitter and I have had migraines since we got here. Forcing someone to do this is not an effective way to "witness to someone" and caring more about position and what it looks like to everyone else makes my skin crawl. I have been a strong minded person and I can handle myself sufficiently, but my husband feels that he has no other choice for now, even though he says that he feels that his manhood is in question. His father seems to think that I would like to meet some of the sisters in the congregation as friends (ain't gonna happen ). What is the best way to deal with this now that my fade has been interrupted? We may have to be in his home till the first of the year and I get more bitter by the day. I'm not interested at all by any "NOO LITE", NOO FRIENDS, or NOO CONGREGATION. His relationship with his son will suffer and all respect will be gone.

Please help!

Think About It

Hang in there SlipnSlide. The JW religion is wacky and all of us here are either being affected or were affected in some way or another by it. If he can't see how ridiculous his stipulations are on an adult married couple, then all you can do is hang in there until your circumstances change.

Think About It

alanv

I would say go the family study and make comments that woulnn't go down well.

Maybe like when they talk about the last days, tell them how things have been much worse in the past. If they talk of the big A as being very near remind them how often the society have been wrong in the past.

Basically bring doubt into the study they will soon get fed up up with it and you can get back to doing what you want to do.

You could have the same fun at the meetings.

moshe

Good luck- I know with my attitude, they would have my suitcases at the curb the next morning.

asilentone

You will have PM soon!

nelly136

buy yourself a calendar and cross of the days to moving out, it will give you a visual that the end is in sight and getting closer with each passing day.

if you're being forced to go to meetings check ebay and see which publications are collectible or selling for big bux, for a small layout you could be getting together a bit of stock for new furniture and fittings for your new place, and you can always invent a couple of friends who want paradise books (one of my friends paid way over 30 quid for one of those a few years back)

SlipnSlide

Thanks all, I just got back from the meeting and much of it was about how the elders have a great responsibility shepherding the flock, blah, blah, blah. It would have been a great meeting if only I did not hear the same thing for the umpteenth time, already. My father-in-law was just struting about like a proud peacock. I have really been trying to just bide my time while I'm here. Regardless of his intention, I just can't go back to that controlled environment.

bobld

Ask for a meeting with elders every day to help you cope with your situation.Tell them you need help and they are to pray with you.In other word bug the shit out of them.Tell them how loving they are for their help.If the refuse than don't go to meeting.

B

mrsjones5

When my husband and I lost our house to foreclosure last year we had to quickly move back to California. We had no money and no place to stay. My parents offered to help, which they did, by getting us a small two bedroom apartment. My father then said that technically everyone in my family (we're 6 in all) could not stay in a two bedroom apartment so his solution was for two of my sons (who are not jws and have only step foot in a kingdom hall for funnerals - well my oldest son twice and my other son once when he was an infant) could stay at his home but they would be required to attend all meetings at the hall. His words were "We don't allow worldly religions in our house." My sons have only ever attended Christian churches. There was no way in hell I was going to agree to something like that and I told my father no.

We're still in that small two bedroom apartment but things are looking up and we should be out of here into a bigger place by this summer.

I know this is your husband's father's house but both of you are adults and you don't have to allow him to dictate to you when and if you go to hall, especially when it comes to your son.

wasblind

Moshe said: " Good luck- I know with my attitude, they would have my suitcases at the curb the next morning."

Hey Moshe, with your attitude towards the JW's, they would not have let you in the house at all

Those affected by the economy and had to make a tough decision

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