I'm sick of this boring life!! (page 3)

bigfloppydog

Nick: Been there, felt the same way you do when I left, believe me there are people out there who really do care, and some are right here in the chat room. When I feel bad I get in and chat, there is always someone to talk to, don't give up this will eventually pass as time goes one, but let it be known, WE ALL CARE. We are good listeners and willing to help you out. As I said there was a time in my own life where I felt exactly the same, but as I got to meet knew friends, and that takes a little time, I kept feeling better and better, now I am happy because so many are a part of my life now. So keep a stiff upper lip and get out and meet knew people.

terafera

Wow what beautiful and TRUE posts here!!

I too, feel socially retarded sometimes! [8>]

It's because, like what others said here, we are told there is nothing but meetings and the Bible. I to this day, feel akward when people talk about what they are going to do on the weekend. I keep reminding myself, 'im normal, i'm a regular person, like them'.. but its hard.

I have no worldly friends, persay. I have co-workers, in laws, but it has been hard on me. It has always been too worldly for Witnesses, to good for worldlies! LOL
But I am having more fun now... I have been self teaching myself the guitar, I read read read, VOLUNTEER, and ski! I love going out... but volunteering is the best thing I've ever done.

THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF WHEN YOU VOLUNTEER!!

Keep us posted!

Scully

Nicolas:

From what you've been saying, I get the feeling that perhaps you're more depressed than you'd like to believe. That's my professional opinion (I'm a nurse) and my personal opinion too (I've suffered from depression in the past). You'd probably get a lot of benefit from going back to therapy, only this time talk about what you are going through because of leaving the JWs. Educate the therapist about how the JWs are a group that has strong control over members, so that the therapist will know how best to help you.

Coming away from the JWs is a very difficult thing psychologically. You are undoing YEARS and YEARS worth of "brainwashing", and having to learn to think all over again. It's VERY hard work. When we were JWs, we believed that our lives had a real purpose, and now that we know it's all a huge farce, we have to figure out what is the point of being here all over again, without having someone to just give us nice answers from a book that claims to have all the answers.

I got the impression from you in chat that you're a young man with almost your whole life ahead of you. I don't know if you were ever baptized as a JW, but if not, you're probably in a better situation than if you were because you'll have less problems maintaining relationships with your family who are JWs. You're going to be OK.

It is going to take some time for you to adjust to being 'out' of the JWs. Mentally we've been in prison, and like someone who has finally been released from jail, there is a period of adjustment where we have to learn to socialize and re-connect with people all over again. We're all here to help you with your journey.

I'm glad you're here. My e-mail is open if you want to talk privately.

Love, Scully

It is not persecution for an informed person
to expose a certain religion as being false. - WT 11/15/63

A religion that teaches lies cannot be true. - WT 12/1/91

zanex

nick...sex, drugs, alcohol, body piercings, tattoos, total debauchery...usually helps for a short while...once the jw brainwashing starts dulling as a result of the total "worldly behavior" it shud balance itself out..least thats what I did..lol...almost 7 years of total immersion into worldly appetites...heh heh heh...and if nothing else I reccomend 6 to 8 hours in a nice tight straightjacket...stay strong...we got yer back..

Nicolas

I'm not this kind of person, I hate to go at a party with beer and all the stuff. It seem too superficial to me. I don't feel comfortable when I go to a party. In my non-jw family, there was a party with a lot of beer at Christmas and I just wanted to go out of this place. You're right, when you say that we are too good for the worldly people and too worldly for the WBTS. When I say that I don't know what to do with my life, it's because I'm almost always at home at my computer because, I have nothing else to do. I study in college 17 hours per weeks but for the rest of the time, my life is really boring. I know that I should go out and get a life but I'm not good in anything. Everytime, I try something new, I fail even when I try to make new friends.

Carmel

Nick,

I feel for ya bud! Fortunately I began developing friendships well before I left the borg. You say you are in College? How would you like to help others with the skills you are acquiring? You'd be supprised what may come out of doing a little volunteer work in you local elementary school or helping with little league or such.

Allow me to reinforce what Scully said about councelling. You've nothing to loose and your life with dignity to gain.

Keep us informed how you're doing. Anything we can do to help, I for one am standing by.

carmel

KissAFish

Unfortunately something we all can come out with is the fact of judging everyone..scrutinizing all things... but I can say..I have met, since leaving jws, some of the kindest most "christian " people i have ever met.. you have to regain confidence step into the world take it by the balls and love it..all things good are out there too, more so then in a closed circuit religion..Enjoy...

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow."
James Dean

jukief

Nick, I think people here have made some excellent suggestions. As someone who has suffered from several severe attacks of clinical depression, I strongly urge you to get help. Depression goes through cycles, just like other illnesses. If you're feeling worse than usual, it's appropriate to go back to therapy. (I've gone back several times over the years.) Also, have you ever been on an antidepressant? I really believe that antidepressants have saved my life. And if you have any kind of social disorder, the meds should help that, too. Talk to your doctor about it.

I also think the suggestion of volunteer work is a good one. I know from experience that when I'm down in the dumps I tend to focus on myself too much. Going out and doing something for other people really helps you to see outside your own limited circle. It's also a great way to meet people with whom you might have a lot in common.

I made most of my post-JW friends when I was in college. It took a while, because when I started I was a 31-year-old freshman, and most of the people in my classes were 18 year olds. But I persevered and went out of my way to befriend older students in my classes. That was 16 years ago, and almost of all of those friendships have endured to this day. I've also made a lot of friends at my various jobs. As a JW, I was shy and retiring and socially inept. I found I had to make a real effort to overcome those tendencies. I'm a different person now--outspoken and extroverted. If you work hard at it, you can change this aspect of your personality. Heck, I went from being a teenaged girl who was afraid to talk to boys to an outrageous flirt! If I could make the transition, anyone can!

It takes time to adjust your attitude about "worldly" people. But in time you'll find that there are a lot of exceptional, lovely people out there and that they're much better friends than any JWs you've ever known. Give them a chance, and reach out to people. You have nothing to lose by doing so.

Good luck.

Julie

I'm sick of this boring life!!

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