Got "THE letter" ....how to proceed?

by 2pink 41 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  2pink

  Hi all,

  my husband and i faded/mysteriously disappeared from meetings over a year ago. we've had a few visits from elders (where we said very little but thanked them for their time), the last one being when we had some nice jack o lanterns sitting on our porch. on saturday, we got letters cordially inviting us to our beheading, i mean, our judicial committee meeting. the crime? "celebrating false religious holidays".

  anyway, we are so over the JW bs....we are never going back to that crap. BUT we don't necessarily want to get DFed either...just bcs it will make things more complicated for the few JW contacts we do have (ie friends' parents, business contacts, etc).

  i remember reading a long time ago about a letter we can give them threatening legal action if they DF us without our consent. does this letter actually work? and is there anything else we can do at this point?

  thanks so much for any input!
• 

  just n from bethel

  Was the letter certified? Or did you sign for it in any way?

  If you didn't sign for the letter and are able to continue to ignore them completely - they can't do anything (according to official WT rules anyway). If you signed for the letter then they can proceed with the JC.
• 

  2pink

  it was sent either registered or certified mail...can't remember which. but in any case, no we did not sign for it. it just appeared in our mailbox???
• 

  Timothy Riches

  Don't play. They can't kick you out if you don't cooperate. If they come to the door, ignore them.
• 

  simon17

  So, what, you're going to spend the rest of your life trying to ignore them?

  You're not goign to ignore your way out of this, I'm sorry.

  I'd go and just lie. I mean: jack-o-lanterns? Thats it? Can't you come up with some BS excuse for that?
• 

  Botzwana

  Yeah someone broke into your house and placed them there! Tell the Elders you suspect apostates amuck!
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  just n from bethel

  Hmmm - certified mail has to be signed for - so that's interesting. Might check with your post office about it to be sure. But if they have no signature of yours on file that you actually received it - the org rules are pretty clear: it's not sufficient validation that you have actually received their letter.You might even be able to have the letter returned - check via the post.

  Does the letter give a definite time and place, or are they wanting you to call them?

  Have they had any contact with you whatsoever about the matter of celebrating holidays? i.e. have they called you or spoken with you face-to-face about this before? If the answer to those questions are no, then you can go on ignoring them and they won't be able to df you (if they're following the org's official rules).

  Just get ready to do some hard core call screening. I recommend a screening service, like google voice.
• 

  Think About It

  I'd go and just lie. I mean: jack-o-lanterns? Thats it? Can't you come up with some BS excuse for that?

  Them crazy neighbors of ours. They are such practical jokers. We keep telling them that we are JW's and do not celebrate worldly holidays, but they keeping decorating our house & yard as a joke.

  Think About It
• 

  simon17

  lol, well, if the house is decked out I agree. If its just a few odds and ends say that a group of kids came around selling jack-o-lanters for cancer research and we couldn't turn them down, although we realize it was probably the wrong thing to do. Ours hearts just broke and we couldn't launch into an anti-holiday speech. We're very sorry, obviously we'll take them down...

  I dont know be creative.
• 

  Elgiard

  If you're really out then don't play their games. Look at it this way. If you quit your job and went on with your life, and then months/years later you got a letter from your old employer summoning you to the office because they don't like something you're doing now, how would you react? Probably, you'd just have a good laugh at their expense, and rightly so, because that's ridiculous.

  Having JW contacts you want to maintain makes it a little stickier, but if you show up for this thing you let the elders know in no uncertain terms that you still jump when they say frog. I think by letting them know they still have power over your life it will just make it that much worse for you. Personally, no contacts are worth that to me, and nothing short of a kidnapping would get me back inside a KH. I think sending a letter is just poking the hornet's nest too. Actually, ignoring them for forever sounds like the perfect solution to this.