Hello everyone. I am a third generation JW. I did not get baptized until I was in my mid twenties. You see this religion was everything to me, my life. I had very few "wordly" associates.
Like some JW I got in trouble. I must say the first time the elders were really loving. I live and breathe Jehovah oraganization.
Here is what happen the second time. I told them I was attracted to a non-witness man. We had a couple of meetings, they told me it was normal, blah, blah, blah. Well sad to say two months later I messed up again. But before that two months, I told them I was weak, I did not know if I could hang on etc. They said they would meet with me once a month to check on me. Did they? No. Ask me if they were concern, if they cared, if they even checked on me? No. I was not giving any talks, no comments at the meeting, next nil field service attendance.
Fianlly after about eight months a elder came up to me in the hall stating everyone has notice a change in you. Where was the love I ask you. I had three people (not elders) who notice my change and were concern. I told him we would talk later. I did not want to talk then.
Low and behold about a month later the elders were knocking at my door stating a JC had been set up. Was I in the twilight zone or what? They wanted to know when could they meet with me. People had been talking. (slander more like it) I ask on several occasion who said what, that it was a lie, they would not tell me. We had a few meetings. Finally I got fed up and let them have. I will not go into detail, I did not bite my tongue. After a while you get tired.
They was so focus on hear say. Why? I still don't know. I had alot of anger.
Anyway I just got tired and and told them about themselves again. They called me back in and two min. later told me I was going to be dis'f. Did I want to appeal. I stated no. Disfellowshiping shocks you to your senses. Right. It brings you to your senses. You see the so call loving organization for what it really is. That is love kicking someone out. Never mind the elders can make mistakes, we will wait on Jehovah to take care of it. But when publisher mess up, look out. Don't misunderstand me, I did wrong and own up to my mistakes, but it hurts when people you look up to turn their back on you, and are foucus on other people lies, not trying to hear you. Jer. 10:23 applies to all men including the elders.
I still have a few friends who talk to me. I also have a few friends who are dis'f. One just turn a fourth later and they denied the request. It has been years for her, she is now married. Wow.
Well I have not made up my mind to read Ray Franz C of C yet.
I still believe Jehovah is God and Jesus is his son.
I am a changed women because of this experience. Will I go back. I really don't know at this point.
Thanks for all the post, I read almost everyday. This place has helped me alot.
Thanks for listening.
Sorry if I started rambling on.
P.S. So some of you are apostate, someone once posted here the meaning of that word. renunciation or abandonment or a former loylaty.
They also stated that in that case most people who are JW are that, because they left another religion to join. It is amazing how people can twist things and make them seem so very bad. Simon thanks for this board.
Hugs to each and everyone of you.