Your advice is requested

by mrsjones5 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • AGuest
    AGuest
    But I cannot in good conscience make this boy stop talking to me about his feelings and qualms about the wt/jws. I just can't.

    I totally understand, dear Josie (the greatest of love and peace to you!). Truly. I also got your PM.

    Peace to you and your household, dear one!

    YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,

    SA

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    When I was 14, I could not fathom being responsible for going to school plus meetings plus working. My body was growing and I was tired. I could barely handle myself, and took my share of afternoon naps. I was no where near being able to take on a responsibility to be responsible for others (whether a baby . . . or performing as a MS).

    Lordy, when will JW parents realize that kids are KIDS.? Dress them up like an adult and wave a magic wand over them to become instant adults!

    It must "feel good" for the JW parent to parade their offspring around as loyal to JW...so much that they can even boast that Johhny boy is being groomed for MS. Must help to alleviate any doubts the parents could have....after all, "Johnny" is sure of this choice. But, Johnny is just a teenanger trying to please his parents and peers. Are the parents/congregation doing this for their own greed?

    Let the KID be a KID. Doesn't he need to be a kid, so when he's an elder he'll be able to understand kids and kid problems? Oops, I forgot. Elders and MS only have to be meek, maliable, henchmen for the Society....not actual, spiritual leaders...

    I'd tell the parents that they have unreasonable expectations for a child and could sour him by the pressure to take on too much responsibility before one has matured. The young mind has not matured enough to handle life's biggest problems. Why do we think you have to be 35 to be President...

    When I was a teenager, only the 18-21 year old brothers were allowed to handle the microphones. The congregation must be scraping the bottom of the barrel if they are now grooming 15 year olds to be MS! Of the JW boys I knew, that kind of flattery would have definately gone to their arragant, pubescent minds.

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    "However, interfering with a parent's RIGHTS... can get one sued"

    ReallY? Mrs. Jones has a right to speak her mind, especially in her own home. She can't be sued for that, even if it's to a kid. The parents can get sore with her, and can refuse to allow the boy to see her. But, sue her for money...nope. Perhaps is she kidnapped the kid, physically hit the kid, etc...but speaking her mind is not a crime or a tort.

    Parental rights have more to do with the STATE telling someone how to raise their kid or a court allowing the other spouse trying to take away custody....

    That being said, Mrs. Jones appears to be a safe-haven for this 15 year old. So, it may be unwise (but not illegal) for Mrs. Jones to tell the boy that his religion is a cult.

    Skeeter

  • AGuest
    AGuest
    Mrs. Jones has a right to speak her mind, especially in her own home. She can't be sued for that,

    Au contrare, dear Skeet (the greatest of love and peace to you!). She can be civilly sued... if the parents can show that either they... or their son... suffered "damages." I won't go into the details of how such could come about, but yes, one can be sued for interfering with another's parental rights, if the plaintiff suffered damages.

    when will JW parents realize that kids are KIDS.?

    I in NO way wish to defend hyper-ultra JW parents, dear one... or any other fanatical type parent. But JWs are only at the tail end of the learning curve at allowing kids to BE kids. Kids being allowed to be kids is a relative new phenomena in our culture, and isn't the case at all in many places around the world.

    When I was a kid we worked each summer from about age 10 on. Having summer to "play" was unheard of, except for the well off. You either sold seeds, delivered newspapers, worked in some store, mowed lawns, washed cars, babysat... or something. Not because we were poor (we weren't) but because my parents came from "back east/down south" and weren't having any of that "California laziness" going on in THEIR house.

    Also, if you look at the yearbook pix for high schoolers prior to the "generational revolution" of the 1960's, you'd be wont to find a child looking like a child. My parents wore "dress" clothes to school (girls in skirts with their hair "did" and boys with hair properly cut and combed, and sometimes shirts with ties).

    Again, I'm not trying to defend JWs in this matter, but super-hyper-ultra religious folks are usually the LAST to "get" what the rest of the world may get. Including that kids only get to be kids for so long and too much deprivation can have long-lasting negative affects.

    On the other hand, the rest of the "westernized" world's children are far, far beyond "ours" (meaning, the U.S.) in academics... and, as a result, are taking on the employment world. Leaving "our" children far behind... and very unemployed.

    Six in one hand... a half dozen in the other, dear one.

    Peace to you!

    YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,

    SA, whose children starting working at ages 12 and 14, and so had a "edge" on their peers when it was time to get out in the "real" world...

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    Damages? What is the tort? Show me a case where a non-parent paid money becuase she spoke to a 15 year old about religion or lifestyle choices? I have not heard of it.

    Alienation of parental affection does come up in custody battles, between parents. It's something that non-JWs can use on JW spouses who preach the non-JW parent sides with Satan the Devil. But, even then, the JW parent can't "sue" for it...just that this behaviour becomes a deciding factor when awarding custody in the best interests of a child. Plus, I don't think Mrs. Jones was going to talk disparingly abou tthe parents to the child.

    Alienation of spouse does happen, but in North Carolina and only in very narrow circumstances where "the other woman" broke apart a proven, close relationship.

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    I remember working as a young teenaged girl. The older male employees all hit on me, despite being married and my being completely underaged and jail bait. Perhaps it was a different world in 1950s.... As far as dresss, got to stay with the times. Can't go around looking like fundamental Mormons I think there is an expectation that with dress-up clothes, automatically comes the mature, soft-spoken child. Even very young children who don't sit at the KH are taken to the back room...to be hit into compliance. Never mind that a young child is set up to fail at staying still at 2 hour meetings....

    Skeeter

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