Greetings to you too, Franklin, and welcome from a bunch of humans much like yourself....hating lies and looking for truth.
Going against what has been pounded into our heads, 5 meetings a week ... is very scary. Even sneaking a read in a Cosmopolitan Magazine early on, can make us feel like someone is watching! lol
Coming on here 6 months ago took courage and trust in my 'gut' feelings, as I know it did for most of us ... and you.
For the ones you mention, who know within themselves that there is 'something wrong', something so gagging & smothering when questions can't be asked about doctrine, and something so evil that eternal damnation is the punishment for doubting, ... start digging & "make sure of all things"!
Remember, you need a relationship with God, ... not with any organization!
clarity