my story, would like some advice

by deservingone26 34 Replies latest jw experiences

deservingone26

thanks everyone for your responses yeah i do have to just figure out what makes me happy and i wouldnt consider myself an addict i just went thru five months of no drugs and no getting drunk, i might only of drank maybe five beers total during that period,those five months i isolated myself from all my friends and started to go back to the meetings occasionally but i got really bored of just sitting around watching tv and seeing every movie that has came out since aug by myself, i dont know what the reinstatement process is but i just figure they ask u questions on who u have been associating with but recently i got really fed up with all of the lonliness and got back on facebook and got back with some old friends and went to a party, i got really messed up and next day felt sick and bad about it all,and now im just trying to figure out my next move. has anyone tried counseling? i feel like maybe that might help but i also feel like i need god in my life i was on youtube and alot of the exjws youtubers are bornagain, anyone haveanything to say about that? and sorry im typing from my cell so hopefully this all makes sense
AudeSapere

alot of the exjws youtubers are bornagain
Alot are born again.
Alot consider themselves athiests.
Many get involved in self-destructive behaviors.
But I really think that MOST just get busy living good and interesting lives.
I hope you find a path that makes your life good for you.
Welcome to JWN. This is a really good place to sort out all things JW-related.
-Aude Sapere (meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Wisdom/Understanding)
wannabefree

Considering the circumstances of your baptism, this recent Question From Readers might be of benefit to you ...
*** w10 2/15 pp. 22-23 Questions From Readers ***
Questions From Readers
Under what circumstances might rebaptism be considered?
Under certain circumstances, a baptized person may want to give thought to the validity of his baptism and may consider rebaptism. At the time of baptism, for instance, an individual may secretly have been living in a situation or engaging in a practice that could have resulted in his being disfellowshipped if he had already been validly baptized. Could he make a dedication to God in such circumstances? Such an individual would have been in a position to make a valid dedication to Jehovah only if the unscriptural conduct had been discontinued. Therefore, a person baptized while such a serious impediment existed may appropriately consider the necessity of rebaptism.
What about an individual who was not practicing sin at the time of his baptism but whose subsequent wrongdoing required the formation of a judicial committee? Suppose he then claimed that he did not fully understand what he was doing at the time of his baptism and said that his baptism was not truly a valid one. When meeting with a wrongdoer, the elders should not raise questions about his baptism and ask whether he feels that his dedication and baptism were valid. After all, he heard a Scriptural discourse about the significance of baptism. He answered affirmatively questions regarding dedication and baptism. Then he changed his clothing and was physically immersed in water. It is, therefore, reasonable to believe that he fully understood the seriousness of what he was doing. The elders would thus treat him as a baptized person.
If the individual raises the issue of the validity of his baptism, the elders may direct his attention to The Watchtower of March 1, 1960, pages 159 and 160, and February 15, 1964, pages 123 to 126, where the matter of rebaptism is discussed in detail. Eventual rebaptism under certain circumstances (such as a lack of sufficient Bible understanding when one was baptized) is a personal matter.
What factors should Christians take into consideration when it comes to sharing living accommodations?
Everyone needs a place to live. Today, however, many people do not have their own home. A person's economic circumstances, health issues, or other factors may make it necessary for extended families, including a number of relatives, to live together. In some parts of the world, relatives may be crowded into a single room with virtually no privacy.
It is not the business of Jehovah's organization to provide a long list of rules regarding what are appropriate living quarters for all in the worldwide congregation. Christians are encouraged to think in terms of Scriptural principles in order to determine whether their living arrangements are acceptable to God or not. What are some of these principles?
A primary consideration is the effect that living with other people is going to have on us and on our spirituality. Who are these people? Are they worshippers of Jehovah? Do they live in harmony with Bible standards? "Do not be misled," wrote the apostle Paul. "Bad associations spoil useful habits."-1 Cor. 15:33.
The Scriptures explain that Jehovah condemns fornication and adultery. (Heb. 13:4) So any sleeping arrangements that allow unmarried people of the opposite sex to live together as though they were husband and wife would clearly be unacceptable to God. A Christian would not want to stay in a place where immorality is tolerated.
Moreover, the Bible urges all who desire God's favor to "flee from fornication." (1 Cor. 6:18) It would be wise, therefore, for Christians to avoid any living arrangements that could give rise to their being tempted to engage in immoral conduct. For example, take the situation in which several Christians sleep in the same home. Could such an arrangement give rise to compromising situations? What if two people who are not married to each other unexpectedly find themselves alone together because others who would normally be present are momentarily absent? Similarly, it would be morally dangerous for any single individuals who have a romantic interest in each other to live in the same home. Wisdom dictates that situations of this kind be avoided.
It would likewise be inappropriate for those divorced from each other to continue living in the same house. Their being accustomed to intimate relations with each other could readily lead to immoral conduct.-Prov. 22:3.
A final but no less important matter to take into consideration is how the community views one's choices. Living arrangements that a Christian judges acceptable but that give rise to unfavorable talk in the community would be a cause for concern. Never do we want our conduct to bring Jehovah's name into disrepute. Paul put it this way: "Keep from becoming causes for stumbling to Jews as well as Greeks and to the congregation of God, even as I am pleasing all people in all things, not seeking my own advantage but that of the many, in order that they might get saved."-1 Cor. 10:32, 33.
Finding suitable living accommodations and arrangements may pose a real challenge for those who wish to uphold Jehovah's righteous standards. However, Christians must "keep on making sure of what is acceptable to the Lord." They need to be certain that nothing indecent is taking place in their households. (Eph. 5:5, 10) This requires that Christians pray for divine guidance and do all they can to protect one another's physical and moral welfare as well as the good name of Jehovah.
Robdar

You are limiting your choices to two extremes.
Why has it got to be either drinking and drugging or attending meetings? How about something in between and not so extreme? If you clean up your act and limit your drinking and smoking weed to just getting a buzz instead of wasted, your mind might clear and you may feel that your life is finally going somewhere.
It's been said "Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans." It seems to me that if you continue on this course, life will just pass you by. Is that what you really want for yourself?
If you got disfellowshipped at 19 and you have been teetering back and forth between drugs, alcohol and religion for 5 years, I am guessing that you are approximately 24 years old. What do you want to do for the rest of your life besides blowing your liver up? Have you considered going to university? Put down the smoke, alcohol and religion. Go see a guidance counselor. Since Armageddon will never happen, there is no point in waiting for a new system to make it all good. It is up to you to create the life you wish to live.
Welcome to the forum and good luck.
deservingone26

yeah i read this article and presented it to my parents but they said that would not apply to me since i did answer the questions so according to this article i would not be eligible for rebaptism, i dont know how anyone could qualify for this cuse doesnt everyone have to answer the questions ? and i understood what i was doing when i got baptized it was just that my parents kept bugging me about when i was going to and when they said they were goimg to change their minds about my car i didnt want to lose out on that
Vanderhoven7

Hi Deserving,
I've got good news for you. Jesus loves you. He went to Calvary for you. He knows everything about you, every failure, every flaw...and even your strengths. There is nothing about you that He does not know and there is nothing you have ever done or said that He is not longing to forgive you for. His arms are still open, as wide as they were on the cross, waiting to receive you and rejoice over you with hilarity.
You are troubled. Jesus says, Come unto me...and I will give you rest. He is your Shepherd. He doesn't care which church you belong to or belonged to. He loves you and wants to know if you will love Him back. He is ready to recieve you and restore what has been taken away.
That my friend is Christianity and everything else is just religion.
Vander
yknot

Maybe it is time to 'make sure all things for yourself.....
When talking to your family learn to discern that speaking 'theocratese' isn't such and inposition.
So read the WT, be able to discuss witness things with them and that should be enough to keep them placated.
Huggles!
mimimimi

You do need to get some counseling, maybe some rehab. You need some direction to help you start figuring out what you really want to do. I don't know exactly what your financial situation is, but you should be able to find some inexpensive counseling help. Many places have a fee schedule based on your income. Also, if you feel that substance abuse is a problem, 12-step programs are free (Alcoholics Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous), though generally everyone puts a dollar in the pot at each meeting to pay for rent, literature, coffee, and candy. You don't put anything in first meeting, though. If you find that is the way to go, you can get a sponsor who will help you work through things.
Also, you need new interests and new friends. See what is available in your community. I don't know what you are interested in, but many times there are free programs at the library (at least in our community) or you could even volunteer at a hospital, soup kitchen, or something like that. Also the library would be a good place for you to seek information about whatever issues you feel applies to you.
Coming on this discussion board is good, too. Many people here will take an interest in you and befriend if you continue to post. I hope you can get your head together and decide what to do and where to go from here. I guarantee you, the party scene is a deadend (been there, done that).
Billen76

Were you a minor when you was baptized?
The congregation of Jehovahs Witnesses can provide an temporarily sense of safety and stability, especially if one tends to live a turbulent life "outside" the JW congregation. The backdraw is as allways boredom, so you go back to have some turbulent life for a while aso. Right?
It looks a little like manio-depression (not that you are), where on swings between two extremes. What doctors usually do in such cases are to calm the manic period and give anti-depressives in the depressed period. Often, if the patient can be stabilized, the manio-depressive periods will flatten out and the patients life become more balanced.
JW's also induce a high sense of guilt in their members, which creates an anxiety that is calmed only if you stay on the beated path. When leaving the path that anxiety are felt from deep within and we normally seek to calm that anxiety, perhaps with parties, alcohol and drugs. Another way to calm the anxiety is to go back to the congregation, so one does "the right thing" and thus does not feel anxious.
What you (we) need to remember is, that we just as we are supposed to be. Let noone tell you any different. You are a good person. Get over the guilttrips, better yet forget about the guilt. For what is it of use? Focus on responsebility, for your own life as well as the projects you involve you in with interest.
The JW's are fundamentalists who tries to keep their grip on you with guilt, fear and family/friendship bonds. The Watchtower expects you to let the JW's become your whole identity, surpressing own thoughts and feelings to live by their guidance. To keep their grip on you, to keep you working for them and supporting them. They do not deserve your support, they do not deserve your efforts, they do not deserve you.
May I recommend you to seek an education? (if you are not at it allready)
Liberty93

Deserving,
Let me tell you what worked for me - 1) cut off the meetings.
2) Cut off the people who get you involved in destructive habits.
Don't associate with either group. Going back and forth between them is like taking cyanide, taking an antidote, and then taking a great, big huff of carbon monoxide. What you're going through sounds a lot like the cycle of sin - guilt - bigger sin - bigger guilt - even bigger sin that I went through before I just couldn't take it anymore and quit as a teenager. Take out both elements (in my case, regarding innocuous behaviors as "sins" and refusing to feel bad about them) and the cycle collapses.

my story, would like some advice

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