how many would still buy the car without takin her for a test drive?

finallyfree!

talkin about you guys and gals? myself and several others have gotten married coz we wanted to get laid. in alot of cases being quite dissapointed with our "purchase" so to speak. i know personally i would never accept to marry a girl without knowing 100 percent that were compatible on all fronts. call me superficial or whatever you want but i need to know for sure before i make a committment like that. what is the consensus knowing what you know now??

Reader1

bang on!!!

Both your point, and your life!!!

OnTheWayOut

A car can be bought by reputation from the experts. It can be bought without a test drive.

A person can be married by many factors other than "the test drive." Sex is important, but do young unmarried people really "know" what they are doing in the bedroom? Great sex can be learned by two partners in a loving relationship. If young men were "shopping," how many of those same men would pass the same kind of test when they typically did minimal foreplay and lasted 3 minutes in the sack?

While the occasional unknowingly frigid partner might be discovered this way, it seems more likely that many inexperienced people would have to whore around for years in order to be sexually ready for marriage. I am not knocking that, it has some merit, but there is also "learning together."

mrsjones5

i know personally i would never accept to marry a girl without knowing 100 percent that were compatible on all fronts. call me superficial or whatever you want but i need to know for sure before i make a committment like that. what is the consensus knowing what you know now??

I wouldn't call that being superficial, it's actually the opposite.

I married my husband a year after we met. We lived together for 8 months before we married. We go to know each other very well. He loved me with out makeup and my hair jacked up and I loved him even though he made weird noises when he tried to clear his nose (he still makes those noises but I'm on ignore mode) and the sex aspect was great. I don't recommend living with someone to get to know them (that doesn't work with everyone), but I do recommend taking the time to really get to know a person (sexually or not, me: I prefer knowing if I'm sexually compatiable with a person) before taking a plunge as serious as marriage.

finallyfree!

on the way out: you are right. im sure there are many young men who would make alot of women ask themselves the same question. putting gender aside though, we all know how we were brought up in "the truth" . one can, without "hoaring themselves out" find out whether or not they are compatible with someone without getting married. i guess thats the whole point of dating, then moving in together, then tying the knot. not moving out of our parents at 18, "dating" a girl or guy for a year and tying the knot at 20.

GrandmaJones

I would not, and did not, consider living with a man. I do think that you should see a great deal of passion just making out. With passion, you can be taught. (and because of that, I stayed married until he was good. Men need a lot of teaching, it just takes patience!) I think you know when you are a passionate person.

mrsjones5

Men need a lot of teaching, it just takes patience!

Tell it Grandma!

fokyc

"Try before YOU buy!"

Violia

I'm agreeing with Grandma jones on this. You do not need to have sex before marriage. If two people like each other and enjoy each others company , share similar values, and have passion for each other , then likely it will work ( as well as marriages that took a test drive first) We are hopefully talking about adults, in 20's or beyond. I have seen folks marry without passion being involved, but it did not work out for them. There are so many things involved in the selection process, but passion is high on the list. Sex and all that is going to change as the years go by. Usually it just gets better if it was a good match.

mrsjones5

My story:

I was 26 when I met my husband, he was 27. I had just recategorized an 18 month relationship that was going nowhere (I had reduced it to a friendship) and I was taking a break from dating. Then my sweet goofy energetic nerdy man walked into my life. I didn't like him instantly but he liked me. We were introduced by an ex of mine because we both were in the fashion industry. My ex thought we could do some business together but it turned out to be much more than that. Yeah he moved in fairly quickly but it seem so natural. We liked the same things: fashion, fabric stores, book stores, Phil Collins, alternative music, dancing, toast, and sex. After 6 months he asked me to marry him and I said yes.

Now 19 years later we have four kids, he got sick (he's tired and in pain alot), we lost our house, and our finances are in the tank. But we still laugh, we love each other dearly, and the sex is still good (though we've had our ups and downs in that department). Even if the sex was gone we would still be together because we love each other more than that.

I wouldn't change a thing about how we got together.

how many would still buy the car without takin her for a test drive?

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