I'm with Grandma. I did all the chasing around I needed prior to becoming a witness. I'd been there, done that and got the t-shirt. I'm glad we waited until we were married. Since we're still together 36 years later I'd say we did something right.
how many would still buy the car without takin her for a test drive?
by finallyfree! 22 Replies latest jw friends
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moshe
It depends on the price- Hmm, many people have been induced to send $2900 via western union for a car that has a Bluebook price of over $10,000- not that they ever received the car.
My wife and I did buy our present home sight-unseen via the Internet. It was 1100 miles from our home and in a city she had never set foor in. We had it inspected and some pictures to go by.
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aSphereisnotaCircle
never, ever again.
If I had had sex one time with my JW ex, I would have ran from him as fast as I could. I will never make that mistake again.
I just cringe when I hear someone is "saving themselves" for marraige, it's all I can do to keep from completely unloading on them.
I was raised a JW, married at 17, stayed miserably married for the next 18 years until hubby finally came out of the closet.
Get a person married when they are young and ignorant, and you can keep them trapped there for a long time, if not a whole lifetime. Another good way of controlling people.
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yknot
Personally....
Immaturity tends to be the number one cause of frigid sexual relationships (sorry guys most girls will follow your lead if she feels trust, safety and emotional security that you wont later call her a slut for doing something beyond missionary, and lets face it a young man isn't always versed in the female anatomy nor do they see things beyond reaching their own satisfaction).
Though I would love to hear the male explanation of the 'frigid or a-sexual male'
I don't think it such action ensures happiness and compatibility ........
I also don't think I have any hard and fast rules, each relationship is different....
I like anticipation, I like talking about sex too, you can learn a lot about a person through listening to their views on sexual things.......
Granted had I not been raised up a JW I probably would have been quite a 'free spirit' as I view sex as a natural adult activity but societal and personal observation has proven that most men tend to be quite judgemental.
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Liberty93
Asphere,
Your poor husband was probably every bit as miserable as you. But that's what happens when you're in a religion where not being married by 19 makes you a homo or some sort of freak. :-p
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finallyfree!
ooooh la la! this is very interesting! it seems that many have alot of stereotypes towards the opposite sex. so if i am reading right, most would not get in the sack with their perspective mate/ girlfriend or boyfriend before marriage if they had to do it again...??
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Bumble Bee
I'm with Aude!!
"Saving" yourself for marriage?? Bunk. It's not just men that want to "try before you buy" and I'd never, ever marry a guy with out the "test drive". Hell, I take guys to the nude beach first.
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blondie
So you buy women.................? or men?
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finallyfree!
blondie: i am a heterosexual man if you wonder my sexual orientation. so i guess in my case i'd be "buying" a woman.
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aSphereisnotaCircle
Asphere,
Your poor husband was probably every bit as miserable as you. But that's what happens when you're in a religion where not being married by 19 makes you a homo or some sort of freak. :-p
Oh so true Liberty. Yet another example of how the Borg truly flucks up lives.
I'm hetero, so I cant say I completely understand, but I understand as well as a hetero person can what a Gay JW (or other fundy) goes through trying to be straight, I saw it all unfold right in front of me. I don't mean to paint my ex as a bad guy, he isn't, he is a generous man who is well liked. He was only doing what I was doing, trying to be a good person and do the right thing. I do not blame him, I blame the people who claim to speak for god and then procede to trick people into believing they cannot trust their own judgement and must come to them for instructions on how to live their lives.