by Pitchess Co-Gen 18 Replies latest jw experiences
Ok lets say you get disfellowshipped and because of a disagreement with your "home elders"; you move to another congregation ( I already know about the "rule" where your publisher card stays with you old congregation ). Now lets say you want to come back, but your old congregation keeps rejecting you request for reinstatement ( 3 or more times ). Is there a rule that says that after the fourth rejection the decision to reinstate goes to the new congregation ?
My father told me about the rule .
I never heard of such a rule. The best you can hope for is if the new congregation questions the decision of the original congregation and take the matter upline for you to their CO, or to the WTS Service Dept. by suggesting that there is unfair prejudice against you. Under such circumstances, if the the new congregation committee is adamat in expressing this, the Service Dept may send a letter to the original congregation suggesting they seriously and prayerfully review their decsion against reinstatement. They would only have any chance of influencing this decision if you live too far of a distance to meet with the original congregation elders and thus you are meeting with a committe of the new congregation which reports their opinion to the old committee.
If you are only speaking of a matter of a year or so that you are awaiting reinstatement, this is a moot point. It will just be said that not enough time has passed.
Is that in the Bible anywhere? I wouldn't be surprised if they made that rule.
Yeah, Mr. Freeze. It's in 2 Cor. The man who got df'd for sleeping with his mother in law submitted a letter 3 times to Paul seeking reinstatement. Paul finally got fed up with it, as he had other more important things to do, and said his punishment was sufficient he could be reinstated. But he wasn't allowed to share his gifts of the spirit or hold the scrolls (or was it a codex?) or count the attendance at gatherings for at least six months. That's all in 2 Cor. 2: 5-8.
The question should not be "How many times can you be rejected for reinstatement?" but "How many times are you willing to allow them to reject your request for reinstatement?"
You can make the rejection stop. Just quit begging, and quit giving them the upper hand.
Eventually, they'll come to the conclusion that something isn't quite right and the Elders™ will start seeking you out to offer their assistance (such as it is), and even offer to somewhat expedite your Reinstatement™. That's when you'll have the upper hand and the power to reject them.
Your father is lying.
Tell him you don't believe it.
Ask him to show you, in print, a Watchtower document that proves it.
Here is what is in his own, personal, copy of the Elder's manual says:
Page 120-121
7. If the disfellowshipped person has moved,
a local judicial committee will hear his request for
reinstatement where he is now attending meetings. If
those elders believe he should be reinstated, they will
give the judicial committee of the congregation that
disfellowshipped the person their recommendation.
They should not let the disfellowshipped one know
their recommendation; if the other committee does
not agree, knowing that would only cause him frustration.
The committee should merely tell him that
they must correspond with the elders where he was
disfellowshipped and that he will be informed of the
decision in due course.
8. The local judicial committee should not pressure
the original committee to reinstate the person.
The elders on the original committee may be aware
of important factors not apparent to others, so it
is usually best to respect their judgment. Likewise,
the original committee should carefully consider the
recommendation of the other committee. Sufficient
time may have passed, and the individual may have
made drastic changes that the elders on the original
committee have not observed. They should keep in
mind that the elders making the recommendation
have met the individual and have had opportunity to
observe his conduct.
9. If the two congregations are reasonably
close to each other, the committee of the congregation
that took the disfellowshipping action should
promptly arrange to meet with the disfellowshipped
individual after receiving a positive recommendation
from the committee of the congregation where he
made his plea for reinstatement.
10. If the elders on the committee of the congregation
that took the disfellowshipping action
disagree with the reconunendation to reinstate,
they should dearly explain their reasons to the
other committee.
Send me a letter. I'll reinstate ya!
I knew a woman that was disfellowshipped for the first time, and moved to a cong. far away. She requested reinstatement. The old cong said no. The new cong. elders recommended she be reinstated. The old cong said no. She kept writing letters, they wouldn't budge. She went to all the meetings. They appealed to the society, and they sent the CO to investigate it. CO met with the old cong elders, but not the disfellowshipped one. NO The society sent a letter to concerned family---be strong. But NO. SIX YEARS. Finally reinstated her.
If you really want to go back, then I'm sorry for you cuz this must hurt a lot. But you are here, and we are friendly, so you're not alone.
Peace:
Several years ago I moved out of South Carolina and went to Moline, Illinois. I submitted a letter of reinstatement to the local body of elders and was told they would have to write to my old congregation and inquire about me. Three weeks went by and I inquired about my status. I was informed by the Moline elders that they had been really busy and hadn't had the time to send off a letter. I gave them the Presiding C.O's phone number, which they refused to use because the Society says a letter must be used. So I waited another 3 weeks and inquired again (all the while going to every single meeting). Finally I get word back that my old congregation had no information as to why I had been Disfellowshipped and so needed information from me as to why I had been Dfed. So I had to submit another letter, detailing what I recalled and why I was Dfed. Odd huh? I also made the mistake of telling the local body (where I now presided) that I had been involved in the occult after I was Dfed. That one mistake cost me reinstatement. Even though it was not the reason for my Dfed it was held against me by one particular elder who happened to be the father of one of the other elders and uncle of another. He had great influence. he told me directly that in his opinion I should never be reinstated because of being involved in the occult at one time. I asked him what about new members who had done the same thing before baptism. he said it was different as they had no knowledge of God while they were involved in it, but that I had turned my back on god and that was sufficient reason to keep me out. I asked him to show me in the Bible where it says that people who had done this, although repentent were never forgiven by God. I think it was Mannaseh who had turned away from God, but then had a change of heart and returned to God some years later. I waited for another 3 months and was told they were still thinking about it. I came to the conclusion that my reinstatement was at their whim. If I missed a meeting due to illness, then I was accused of "going back to my old ways". I eventually left that congregation and moved back to S.C.
At a hall here I was told I had to attend a certain hall because of where I lived, even though the person giving me a ride went where he wanted. The person giving me a ride was an old friend of mine who had recently started to partake and so we had lots to talk about. We had many disagreements about the WTS but he eventually gave into the elders "requests" to stop associating with me (giving a ride to the meetings). If I didn't obey them and go where they wanted me to go, it would greatly impede my reinstatement process. Same song and dance.
My conclusion was, I might be Dfed in the eyes of the Organization, but I had been forgiven long ago by God. I had confessed my sin to Him and only went to the elders (no one told on me) because of organizational procedure.
Going back to the hall with this attitude freed me from a lot of guilt. It also enabled me to lend comfort to other disfellowshipped persons (although the elders didn't like me doing it). I felt the Dfed person needed the comfort they weren't getting from the congregation and so I was in a unique position. Apparently the elders want the Dfed people to be alone, not even in the company of other Dfed people so they will be in torment until the elders says their punishment is over. It's just a power trip for them and has nothing to do with love and forgiveness. None of them can see into a person's heart and coming to a meeting doesn't reflect that.
I have thought that if I ever go back (in order to strengthen and help my brothers and sisters in any way I can), I would ignore the elders' stupidity. I'm not under their authority. I do things out of love and no one has to prove anything to me. YHWH is the one we are accountable to and not an Org or a group of judgmental men who have very little love for their flock. It doesn't matter to me one bit if I get reinstated. I'll go out in FS alone and preach the Bible (not the WT). In my opinion they have no say in this matter as it's a commission from Yeshua and not something they have the right to take away from me. I repented long ago and I won't jump through their hoops.
Peace,
Awen
Pitchess,
I wasn't trying to make light of your situation by being sarcastic. I just re-read how that sounded. I'm sorry you're going thru this. They're so pharisaical, it's enough to make you scream. How many letters do you have to write before they determine you're repentent enough to come back? Is there a reason in particular that the old congr elders don't want to reinstate you that you feel comfortable sharing? Someone here might be able to give you advice on how to use that to help yourself.
Unless you have a good reason to want to go back (family reasons), I would suddenly and abruptly quit doing anything. No boasting session attendance. No "personal study". No nothing. If they question you, tell them that they waited too long and that you no longer feel it worth wasting time doing something that is not going to produce results. Either the new congregation will write a letter to the old congregation that they are "murdering" you for holding reinstatement back, or you will be totally out of the cancer.
You can also simply quit trying, and notify them that, since they dragged their feet too long, you no longer feel it's the truth. Peter denied Jesus three times in one evening, and did other major things because of not thinking--yet, how long did it take him before he received major assignments? If I remember right, it took only around 6 weeks after the denial before he got a keystone assignment--and it didn't have to go through any committees that he is no longer around. And, since you have done everything right more than 6 weeks and aren't even reinstated, this can't possibly be the truth. Also, how long did the prodigal son have to wait? Did he have to go through a committee? He was accepted back on the spot. With this, and that Peter was given a major assignment just 6 weeks (not years, weeks) after denying Jesus three times, shouldn't that be proof enough that they don't abide by the Bible or common sense?
