Can j.w.'s go to Christian funerals?

by hubert 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  hubert

  I went to a Catholic funeral yesterday. There was no wake, only a Mass and the burial and Military honors at the cemetery. Although it was not a relative, my j.w. daughter knows this family well. I called her when I saw the obituary, and gave her the information about the Mass and funeral. She said..."Thanks, Dad". That was it. No other reply, no letting me know if she was going or why she couldn't go. Nothing.

  At the funeral, and meal afterwards, all the family asked where she was. We had to make up excuses for her not being there for them. I am so sick and tired of making excuses to family and friends for their ridicuous behavior regarding anything Christian, other than Watchtower related.

  Is there anything written by the W.T. that demands or directs a j.w. to not attend Christian ceremonies such as this? Is there anything I can say to them to "wake them up" to how wrong this approach is?

  Thanks.

  Hubert
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  Lion Cask

  Not sure, Hubert, but I don't think there is anything formal in that regard. I can tell you my wife attended the RC funeral mass of my mother, and my wife's not one to do anything that compromises her faith in the WTS. She also attended a Baptist funeral of one friend but not the RC funeral of another. Could it be one of those rare things left up to the conscience of the individual?
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  Little Imp

  I was always told that they shouldn't enter any other religious building, whether this is just said in the UK I don't know.

  When my husband and I got married (we were in our forties and he was brought up a JW) his mother said she wouldn't come to the wedding if we got married in church.

  Maybe it depends on what the particular Elders say in some congregations.

  LI
• 

  man in black

  I attended funerals / masses all the time.

  There were times when the elders got a whiff of what I did and then talk to me, telling me how I was putting myself in a "questionable" position by sharing

  in a part of Babylon the Great. I would smile and walk away. One guy told me, "just think of what would happen if armageddon started while you were in that church for the funeral. . personally , it was more important for me to give support to the family of the one who died, I don't remember reading anywhere in the Bible when Jesus ignored someone in need because they did not believe everyhing that he taught.

  And why make excuses ? Sometimes a little "hard love" is the best thing. If you tell the people at the funeral that xxxx decided not to come because of her religion,well xxxx will in time start to feel the effects of drawing a line in the sand regarding how she is treating people when they really could use some support.

  Now since I am no longer a jw, I see this behavior as a way for them to feel superior toward all the other people who do not accept the wtbts as their savior
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  MrFreeze

  It's a conscience matter. I went into a church for my grandmothers funeral and received no counseling about it.
• 

  nugget

  the official policy I believe is that you would not attend a worldly funeral for a worldly friend. (apologies for using JW term) The only exceptions to attending would be if you were a wife with unbelieving husband and he had expressed a wish for you to attend. Even then it should be restricted to funerals for relatives. It is left fairly open but there is a strong steer not to attend or if you go you go as observer so do not participate in the prayers and hymns. This can make things extremely awkward especially in certain services which require a great deal of call and response and where non participation would be obvious.
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  hubert

  To: Man in Black.... Thanks, I'm going to tell my daughter that my wife and I were very happy we were there to give support to the grieving family.

  However, I won't use the hard line approach, because if my daughter finds that I am "badmouthing" her because of her religious (cult) choice, that would only draw her closer to the W.T. cult.

  Hubert
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  DesirousOfChange

  Conscience matter, other than not sharing in the "false worship", that is to say, not participating in something like the Mass and all it's standing, sitting, genuflecting, etc. To merely attend or not to attend is individual choice.
• 

  confuzzled777

  I agree with the conscience matter. The last funeral that I attended was in a Luthern Church and I picked up the hymn book and bible and followed along! The funeral was for my BIL's dad. My SIL brought her NWT bible with her.......she is a full time pioneer. Made me want to vomit when I saw her bring it in to the church. It looked to me like she was trying to protect herself or something.......or maybe it was so someone would ask her about it and she could "witness" in the church. Who knows.

  I have been to both weddings and funerals in church's. I see nothing wrong with it. But I do have an aunt who would not attend her brother's (my uncle) funeral because his son who is a pastor gave the eulogy. She showed up after and drove out to the cemetary with us. I feel that she missed out on a very moving eulogy as his son poured his heart out for all to see the love that he had for his dad and how amazing his dad was. Her loss.
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  Snoozy

  My JW in law's came to my parents funerals(Non- JW's) and my MIL had the nerve to make snide remarks all through it..idiots!

  They also refused to stand when a prayer was said.

  Snoozy

  ps..Why are you covering for your daughter? She should pay any consequences for her actions if she is a JW..