Can j.w.'s go to Christian funerals? (page 2)

hubert

Snoozy said....."ps..Why are you covering for your daughter? She should pay any consequences for her actions if she is a JW.."

Because, if I made a sly remark to her about not being there, it would only push her deeper into the cult. I am not even sure if she is baptized into it yet. That's how secret this cult is. I don't want to take a chance of losing my daughter to this cult. We are on good terms so far, and I plan to try to keep it that way. I can't reach her and her hubby, if I turn her away from me.

It does hurt when she does this to us, but we have to be careful that we don't lose her fully to the cult. We really love our daughter and husband, and don't want to lose what we still have with them.

Hubert

bebu

Hi Hubert!

I think you might be able to tell your daughter you were surprised she did not come, since she knew the people well and you thought she cared about them. Maybe let her know people were asking, and you didn't know what to say. (IOW, the truth of the matter...)

It's hard to argue with honest reactions, if they are not used like guns. She might use the opportunity to explain why she couldn't make it--esp if it wasn't related to JW issues. You could tell her you hope she might send a card (or even flowers)...

bebu

pirata

*** w02 5/15 p. 28 Questions From Readers ***
Questions From Readers
Would it be advisable for a true Christian to attend a funeral or a wedding in a church?
Our taking part in any form of false religion is displeasing to Jehovah and must be avoided. (2 Corinthians 6:14-17; Revelation 18:4) A church funeral is a religious service that likely involves a sermon advocating such unscriptural ideas as the immortality of the soul and a heavenly reward for all good people. It may also include such practices as making the sign of the cross and joining in prayer with the priest or minister. Prayers and other religious exercises contrary to Bible teaching may also be a part of a religious wedding ceremony held in a church or elsewhere. Being in a group where everyone else is engaging in a false religious act, a Christian may find it difficult to resist the pressure to join in. How unwise to expose oneself to such pressure!
What if a Christian feels obligated to attend a funeral or a wedding held in a church? An unbelieving husband, for example, may urge his Christian wife to be with him on such an occasion. Could she join him as a quiet observer? Out of regard for her husband’s wishes, the wife may decide to go with him, being determined not to share in any religious ceremonies. On the other hand, she may decide not to go, reasoning that the emotional pressure of the circumstances could prove to be too much for her, perhaps causing her to compromise godly principles. The decision would be hers to make. She definitely would want to be settled in her heart, having a clean conscience.—1 Timothy 1:19.
In any case, it would be to her advantage to explain to her husband that she could not conscientiously share in any religious ceremonies or join in the singing of hymns or bow her head when prayer is offered. On the basis of her explanation, he may conclude that his wife’s presence could give rise to a situation that might be unpleasant to him. He may choose to go alone out of love for his wife, respect for her beliefs, or a desire to avoid any embarrassment. But if he insists that she go with him, she might go as a mere observer.
Not to be overlooked is the effect our attending a service in a religious building might have on fellow believers. Could it injure the conscience of some? Might their resistance to avoid engaging in idolatry be weakened? “Make sure of the more important things,” admonishes the apostle Paul, “so that you may be flawless and not be stumbling others up to the day of Christ.”—Philippians 1:10.
If the occasion involves a close fleshly relative, there may be additional family pressures. In any case, a Christian must carefully weigh all the factors involved. Under certain circumstances he or she may conclude that no difficulties would arise from attending a church funeral or wedding as an observer. However, the circumstances may be such that by attending, the likely injury to one’s own conscience or to that of others would outweigh the possible benefits of being present. Whatever the situation, the Christian should make sure that the decision will not interfere with his preserving a good conscience before God and men.

Black Sheep

As you can see from the WT quote, it is a conscience matter, but with psychological pressure to abstain.

At the funeral, and meal afterwards, all the family asked where she was. We had to make up excuses for her not being there for them. I am so sick and tired of making excuses to family and friends for their ridicuous behavior regarding anything Christian, other than Watchtower related.

Don't make excuses for the bad behaviour of Jehovah's Witnesses, even if it is embarrasing that you used to be one, or that your family members are.

If it is someone that you influenced into the cult, apologise to the offended person for doing that. Tell them you had no idea you were in a high control cult at the time.

garyneal

They are a strange sight to behold.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/186299/1/A-JW-attending-funerals-at-a-church

hubert

BEBU !!! What a nice surprise. I haven't seen you in here for such a long time, although I've sotra been on a sabatical myself, until a couple months ago. Welcome back !

I did send her an E-mail, and almost exactly with what you said to do. I painstakingly wrote it so not to "offend" her and her hubby. Thanks for verifying the right approach as for my own situation. If she responds to that E-mail, I'll suggest her sending a card or flowers. Good idea, Bebu.

Pirata....Thanks for that paragraph. I'll copy/paste it and print it out, for future use. Seeing you gave the reference, I can look it up on the W.T. library cd to verify it, too.

Black Sheep....Thanks, I agree, it puts pressure on them not to "stumble"....one of their favorite terms.

I was never a j.w., so I have no guilt feelings about her being in. She has an Aunt who is in, and she is the one who drew her into the cult, along with a lot of help from the Aunt's two J.W. daughters. (at my father-in-law's funeral, no less). Great opportunity for them to witness.

Garyneal....Thanks for all that "reading material". I'll sit back and indulge that very soon.

Hubert

bebu

LOL Hubert...

I'm just flying by today as I had some time, and wondered if I'd see any names I recognized still posting. Glad to see you!!! :)

Not to detract from the serious nature of your thread, of course. The quote from the WT was pretty helpful, I thought...

bebu

stillajwexelder

I have been to quite a few. My brother-in-law elder got pissed off about it, but me and wifey still went anyway.

jws

As posted, there are articles about it. This came up when my uncle (a Lutheran) died. My father came to the viewing, but left before the services.

It's a matter of conscience. At least according to the official publications. But all JWs know what that really means. It means no, you can't. If you do, you will be considered weak and looked down upon.

I'll tell you what it did at my uncle's funeral. It made my father look very bad. His non-JW family couldn't believe how he could leave his brother of 81 year's funeral. And they weren't estranged. They visited regularly. But the rest of the family took it as a snub and saw those JWs as very cold and unloving. Great message to the world...

I always questioned this. How weak is the faith of JWs? JWs go door-to-door, talking to people who sometimes argue with their beliefs. Spar with them, scripture for scripture. Yet a funeral service presided by some other faith is going to damage their faith? Funeral services don't target JW beliefs and seek to discredit them. JWs can't hear about a priest talking about heavenly life without being swayed? JWs know what people believe about heaven. They hear it all around them, yet they can't stick it out at a funeral service? What are they so scared of? I'd think the guy talking one-on-one, showing them scriptures that oppose their view would be much more dangerous to their faith. But they are encouraged to go preaching.

My father would not even go into a church. We were in Jackson Square in New Orleans as tourists and he wouldn't even walk into the beautiful church there to admire the building. Sounds like superstition if you ask me.

J. Hofer

i've been to several catholic funerals (all family though, i don't know if that makes a difference), including the mass and "after party". i always attended with most of my JW family. no holy water, jesus cookies or donations for us though, of course.

Can j.w.'s go to Christian funerals?

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