by voltaire 23 Replies latest jw friends
my wife told me i came over like i was dogging my man
so i want to offer some advice instead
before you meet with the elders read this bro exp of how he dealt with his new found knowledge if you have not read it
there are 3 parts- it provides some insight on leaving wt
all so here is another link that might shed some good advice
just my 2
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=20572&site=3
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=5574&site=3#66584
JT: I'm rolling man, good post!! keep it comming.....
""but instead some guy who works at the local Mill on the line and at night changes into "SUPER KNOWLEDGE MAN" By PUTTING ON HIS "Elder Cape"" Haaaa haaaaaaa heheeeeheeee, god, it is sooo true!
“We all fell down from the milky way, hanging around here for the judgement day, heaven only knows who’s in command.”- Jimmy Buffet
marlyn says:
Please, please don't give them the satisfaction of labelling you adulterous (even if it's just in your heart). Don't mention your interest in another woman. They'd just love to have another reason to blame for your apostasy
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i agree 100% so many former jw become the POSTER CHILD for the org -
my wife and i left and the stories the have told about us are unreal- they have descibed out life as going to hell in a hand basket
yet when they see us we are laughing (at them) and having a ball
they look in amazement I thought they were separated and getting a divorce, etc
i often think about those who may be on the edge- they want to leave but due to the wt dogma of where will you go
they look at this person and see someone who has gone on the "DEEP END"
SO WHY SHOULD I LEAVE GOD IF MY LIFE WILL TURN out like that
wt never mentions those of us who have gone back to college, better jobs, and just having a ball- instead they parade all former jw who lives have hit skid row as it were
i don't think he needs to tell these clowns anything
but the choice is his
ThiChi
I realize that for many they truly feel that they need to give them a pc of their minds, which if that is what they want to do- fine
but so many times many of us have seen what happens to a former jw IF HE DOES IT THE WRONG WAY-
i would never tell anyone not to DA or not to meet with the elders, but at least do it the right way and part of the right way in my view is to consider who you are going before
If you were a regional director of a company and it was time for your Eval- would you not expect the VP of your division to do it?
what would you think if when you got to the office "Woodrow" "Freddy" and "Larry" from Yard and building maintence were doing your eval
you would think this was some type of joke
here you are top manager of your area- making big bucks and 3 dudes who just took advantage of the company's education program got their GED 2 months ago
and to me that is what i see when i see folks up here on the net who have taken the time and effort to do deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep reaserch and shed tears and heart ache in finding out the truth about the truth turn around and SUBMIT AND I MEAN SUBMIT themslevs to 3 guys who have not even read thier last 5 issues of the mags
now these clowns are going to sit on judgment seats that YOU ALLOW BY BEING THERE TO JUDGE YOU
THE HELL IF THEY WILL IN MY CASE
of
I really agree with you JT: I really like the way you put your thoughts into words......points well taken!
“We all fell down from the milky way, hanging around here for the judgement day, heaven only knows who’s in command.”- Jimmy Buffet
JT
Man, you really put into words how I feel about JW's. Talking to them once you've made up your mind that they are full of crap only subjects you to more of their control strategies. Why subject yourself to their rules and regulations at that point only to be labeled DF'd or an apostate, their definition of apostasy.
It's just as easy to make the break without saying anything to anyone of them. If you feel your marriage is at an end, there's always divorce on irrecconcilable differences. At least then you can control the situation, rather than allowing the Eldubs to dictate terms and labels to you.
As always, thanks for the interesting replies.
ThiChi- My wife and I have been round and round for three years, although I've never mentioned anything "apostate". She's a real toe-the-party-line-woman. It's unbelievable. My not believing in the WT has been a real wedge in our marriage. I just don't feel much for her anymore. She sometimes cries when I say things negative about the organization. I quit talking about it 6 months ago. There's no point.
Nazereth- I'm not totally sure I understand your points, but I agree that involvment with another woman will confuse things and just give them excuses to bash me and write me off as weak, rather than someone taking a principled stand. I felt myself very attracted to a particular woman, but we talked and that's on hold. I'll get back to that later, I hope, but for now one thing at a time.
David Gladden- I don't care if they slander me, or do anything else, so I don't feel I need a lawyer. I'm leaving...hell, Ive been gone for months. They can do what they want.
JT- If I weren't married, I'd not bother. I'd go about my business. Being married makes this tough. My wife won't budge. To be perfectly honest, I think I need to take my stand and be DFed. My father (not A JW) will understand why the marriage is over. Deep down I think my mother and my wife's parents will understand, too.(they're witnesses)even if they don't, I'll feel satisfied that I am justified in getting a divorce. In a sense, I'm tired of the pretending to be married, my wife can show that's she with me or against me.
Marilyn-I won't say a word. It's not an issue, because the divorce is something that has to happen. I realize I got a bit caught up in the emotion of it all. I'm in a very vulnerable state now, I hang out with my own circle of friends, so I run into women all the time. I'm going to take care of this first and worry about women later.
out4good3-I don't really feel the elders can dictate any terms, I just want them to leave me alone. They'll leave me alone when they see how I feel. That will make me happy.
I've been lurking around here for awhile, but I just have to ask, Why does it seem that so many feel that a lawyer is necessary when one is dissasociating or being disfellowshipped???
Enquiring minds want to know ;D
Thanks,
Song
A couple of things that I would like to advise you on. First thing is when you meet with the elder watch what you say to him because anything you say will be used against you. That is why the advise to have a lawyer present with you is good. Let your lawyer talk for you. The second point is that if you are sure you do not want to be in your marriage, a word of advise here is don't get involved with anyone else to early. I went through that 8 years ago, I was in a similar relationship as you are and a breakup is like you went to hell and back. The worse thing you can do is get emotionally involved with someone else too soon after. You are so vulnerable at that time and are prone to make back choices and decisions. If you have being raised as a JW or being around them for a number of years, you don't really know what you want and who you are. Take time to get to know yourself and to love yourself first. No one in this world can make you happy except you.. All the best to you and I know if you follow your better judgement you will be fine.
Will
"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."
Mark Twain
songmistress, I think you have your wires crossed with another post. But no matter. The reason many want a lawyer if because the Elders want it all their own way. They dictate the rules and the terms. In truth there is nothing much a lawyer can do to stop the WTS from accusing you verbally of apostasy, but for some reason the Society is very nervous about bad publicity and law suits. They prefer to keep a low profile. So when a person has been invited to a judicial hearing, taking a lawyer kinda muddies the waters, it stops it from being cut and dried because the Witnesses are not quite sure of how much power the law has. They also can't operate freely with a non witness entity in the room - it cramps their style if you like. They just want the accused to roll over and play dead while they (the elders) do their WT thingy, unhindered by outsiders.
I know a high profile ex witness who was able to prevent his disfellowshipping purely by threatening legal action.
Marilyn
